my breath* .....

1.
the powerful, yet gentle wind beneath this dismal, broken flight
the crazy, brilliant ship on stormy seas;
can’t fly over to you ... on wounded wings
can’t sail the wide oceans .... without its captain.


2.
should grow up, by now....
but just can’t, ok.
why so afraid of what longs to be, what's meant?
let me tell you, this is real!


3.
how failure sits smug, an endless smirk
hopelessly try to put it all together again.



you are ....my very breath.... and yet,
you are ....still unable to see ....


S T, 30 May 2013

1.
white chapel on a hill

sheep dot rugged, earthy slopes

ruminate on warm, sun-kissed dale

endless lines and lines of verdant tones

late afternoon sun slanting

behold, jaune compassion

alfalfa ocherous leans willowy in wind

distance of silence yearns on

afternoon shadows lie within majestic vales

powder-blue ranges in 3D tiers

shadowy rifts, like a painting out of heaven

lone tree not alone, reaches up

blinding turns and rust-coloured bends, twisty trails

two on horseback, apples for sale

reservoir as a hold all for all

brown mud is where redemption lies.


2.
sun dips away, out of reach

beyond the eye's catch

step out car

feel the ping of silence, deeply-alive zing

crowd in and then,

into the slot of torched horizon

the orange world slips . . .




S T, 19 May 2013

1.
And so, I clamber up the heavy *****
and sit alone upon a wide, flat rock.

I still the voices clamouring hard within
and try to listen to the air settle and breathe . . .

The eagle swoops low, whirring loud beside the rocky outcrop
likening its talons to sustain the hold of life . . . (this line to be amended ...sounds odd)

Leaves quiver silent on massive trees
obedient to nature, yet roots bold outgrown . . .

Shade reaches and stretches genial arms
while feel of dark and moist, fertile ground pervades . . .

Air thick with teeming life the eye can't see
thrums with invisible threads, linking slow tendrils . . .

Quiet sky looms dignified and peers squinted
while sun rays slant into pores, kiss my cheek.

Beetles scamper light along the soft, red sand
and not unlike them, I seek still the answer within . . .



2.
Fierce fire takes up dry tinder, consumes into heated coils
destroying with relish, yet offer cleansing balm . . .



3.
Sudden rains refresh, glance off surprised face, upturned
sweet deluge leaves all sodden to delighted heart . . .



4.
I turn not away
I look up
to receive . . . gladly.


I give such thanks
fall on knees to see . . .

No red sky (as in my nightmares)
No lost sun
No smoky horizon
No grey trees
No dead leaves.

Only yellow sunshine
Only blue sky
Only green leaves
Only clear horizon

as far as the eye can see.




S T, 8 May 2013

1.
your words are oft like sweet-sour packages in the post
excitement mounts to rend strings yet dread too, peeps in.

songs you play are wrought from famished strips of liquid love
that my wretched soul with face upward, so wanting, laps up.



2.
oh, let me be that tree for your succour
come into me shade

oh, let me be that wave for your restlessness
come ride upon me swell

oh, let me be that light for your needing
come meld within me core

and take what you need.

(and please be mine, too)



3.
I am so in awe of you that I'm angry!

can you just come upon this landing, already?
let me lay you down, beside me . . .
this garden awaits

tomorrow never knows
of what wondrous delights we spake
mine eye seeks thee, always.

let me . . .
stroke your disheveled mind
and allow me to slow-spill into obdurate you
soft and gentle, sweet and kind
your destroyed words
to hear how swift and sudden they really are.

let us fall headlong . . .



4.
when, once every millennium
the tale doth go:
the time-eagle returns
to that diamond-mountain
so far away
to sharpen its beak
     and when, it finally wears down
     that haughty hill
then one mere second of eternity will have passed

yes, the hour-glass of eternity will run its full course.


despite time and distance
forever is a wicked charm that I must wait for . . .
and forsooth
the weight of it, I will bear.


S T, 14 May 2013

Beneath the raging winds,
Beneath the blinding rain,
there is a voice so quiet
you did not know it was speaking
until now
when you stopped running
you sat,
you breathed,
and heard it.

Beneath the wild drums of your heart,
a quieter world
The one voice you never knew was yours.
And the world longs to hear it.

What hurts the most is not so much your absence from my life, but your memory.
What scares me the most is that you will forget about me.
About the memories we shared; and the laughs we had.
Constantly wondering if our late night conversations meant anything to you.
In all my years I’ve learned not to trust anyone; so don’t forget when I let you in.
Ive never felt this way before.
What I wonder about most is if you will leave and never look back.
If you will graduate, and just like that forget everything that happened here.
Because once you’re gone I don’t even know if ill ever see you again.
No one understands though; because I feel things differently.
Because my weirdness and craziness isn’t just a show; it’s me.
I wont ever forget you and I don’t know if that’s just my memory or if its love.
What scares me the most is that you hate it here so much that I am just a phase.
To just help you get through.
But to me, you are so much more.
You are the last thing on my mind before I go to bed and the first thing on my mind when I wake up.
Seeing your face makes me want to go to chapel, sit down dinner, and study hall.
Because you. You are so much more to me than you will ever know.
And to think that you can just forget about me in an instant scares me more than anything.
So lets make these memories last forever.
Lets do stupid things and talk to each other until midnight.
Because all that matters to me is you.
And im too young to know if that’s love or what; but I don’t want to forget.
Everyone is leaving; all my friends and now you.
And what really ***** is there is nothing I can do about it.
No matter how much I love you, or reminisce on these memories your leaving.
And im staying here; walking on these paths for the next 3 years.
What am I supposed to do when you leave?
I don’t know yet to be honest.
Right now it seems impossible; but ive been through more then you know.
Moving on seems to always be a reoccurring struggle in my life.
So hopefully ill move on; but how is that possible?
How can I move on when every little thing reminds me of you?
Every class I go to, every chair I sit in, every sit down dinner I go to… so many things.
And yet I probably only cross your mind when you glance at me through a window.
I smile not because I am happy but in hopes that you will fall for my smile as hard as I fell for yours.
Every motion I make, every sound I say is all for you.
So how can I possibly move on?
How can I possibly try and live life without you?  
And that’s why it hurts the most.
Because when you leave I can only hope that you don’t forget.
Forget us.
Because I think… I think I love you.
From now until my last breath its you and no one else.
So please. Don’t let our memories fade.
Don’t let us go.