let me taste your hell
drown me in your intoxicating stupor;
breathe me in despite the blizzards and brimstones burning
till kingdom come

deseo que sea un pájaro.
<<Un día, mi amor.>>
despite steaming beef shoveled into sweaty faces at the crack of dawn
and mother mary imploring me with irises ancient and oily
as i move mechanically atop my mattress
stirring in the back room hut of the city -
curtains and clothes lines barely concealing a nation's fatigue --


i will live once more

I am lost in the motion picture waterfall,
Years cascading to explode over a sea of rocks.
Interlaced at the hands,
Tall you stand like
Jupiter
And

Silent like sand



I dare not speak of it –
This corpal hold that has germinated
Efflorescing into entropy
I am bumping into walls of myself –

The moonlight shone over us
Like a rip tide storm
And we, calmly violently
Thrashed about
And I am beginning to forget
The shockwave of your touch

My void is always searching
Especially now.
I writhe
To implore a soul like yours.

And the ache of the train struggling away
Twenty four moons ago

Sneaking smoking into diseased lungs on wet lonely spring nights
Jumping! Free falling,
Heart in stomach
Twitching in sleep as birds begin to sing
And strictly internal weeping
On trails less travelled.

Thusly, I am
Cold like asteroids
and
out of orbit

Chardonnay until
I can reject reality
Sleeping naked sweating shivering
And teeth grinding into
My tree trunk soul


I will see you
one day
Worse for the wear and tattered
And I will be caulked and
stuffed like dead dreams

But with you,
I want
to curl inside your decaying cavities
And breathe smoke out of my own coughing lungs
to smooth you to sleep

Your head on my hipbone
Is time blinking her eyes
in a seismic convulsion –
The outlier of our data
and
we have finished before we’ve begun

Despite the marrow in our bones surging in the tide to

one another ourselves

Moss could grow on our interlacing fingers
And have more intention
than we,
Skulls and vertebrae
Click-clacking off beat
To the tune of no drum

Algal lined membranes
effloresce and become
rainforests of decay and renewal

drip dripping on the tip of my tongue

Lips split
To lick and swallow sallow tears.
Heartbeat in ears, I
Choke down my words
To sit through my fears.

My brain is electrified with the acridity of lemons –
Dashing through cemeteries
Fumbling with etched wisdom
On stones older than enlightenment
And smearing it with fingers trembling on my forehead,
Clammy and numb
While mouths split and shriek into the paralysis of dreams shattered.

I am
hooked on sadists and social delinquents
Lost swirled in the lotus of stinking nightfall,
Gliding through clouds of memory lost and memory found,
With
Jugular arched bare smooth desperate for sunray.
Impassioned strings of rhapsodies intertwine my fingers for
A raptured fractured moment, but
Still I am zygotic, weeping in the embryonic stuff of life.

But reticulate my mistakes -  
Entwine me in the filaments
Of one billion years of algal growth
And allow me to explode into
revered ******* nostalgic bloom
So I may feel once more
The fossilized whispers of love
On my petrified wooden ears
Smooth down my hair so that
I may lie beside you like a guilty dog
Incapable of culpable tears
Just the fear of
Our sound raves refracting
Like shattered light
Into the pedantic lexicon of lives
Leaving this world
Thousands per minute
But still your sweet
Sweet moss on my grave.

I can feel you undulating
Unraveling neath my kitten claws
And I want more

How fast would a car have to be going -
how many pounds per square inch till we collide and
My spine shatters like a pane of glass glimmering scattered along stretches of asphalt on a scorching summer afternoon?
Your shaking hands fumble to retrive yourself - tiny fractals of a crystallized moment and you -
I peer into each one to behold my teeth as in a dream -
Teeth falling from lips overflowing with apologetic acid
and they all reflect an unnamed series of secondary and tertiary emotions blasting through your subconscious like a prion folding intself into insanity
Still you grind my face into the pavement, desperation pushing you to find one that is not - is not - blinding -
Hand in hand we run on the beach, kicking sand into each other's eyes.

Like a rabbit in headlights
I am struck like lightning.
I wasn't always - -


Network me!
Extend the tips of my hair into the soil like one thousand fingers reaching through to our common origin!


Slap my still-life face into a mosaic of shutter photographs
I am climaxing, summiting the sierras of shame
and
it feels like renewal

Hurry - deposit my disgorge -
I was dying already when we met.
I am but shrieking in the Blitzkrieg -
Sobrevivencia, my darling!
**** on your sugared fingers and tell me, is it just as sweet?
Implore your inspiration -
Is it coffee coated cigarette coughs which smooth you down like honey whiskey on a cold day's egg yolk sunrise?
There is immense power in desperation ----

But soft now.
Speak to me
And allow your disdainful demure words to
germinate in my eardrums
and -
your mellifluous murmurings to effloresce in everlasting bloom - so I may lilt through the sumptuous wafture of the
sea of our bloods, rendesvouzing
in the surrepititious silence of
the sempiternal
with roses lissome and lithe encircling my head -

Embrace me under this opulent eclipse, this ethereal moment of evanescence before
The petals in my hair dissolve into diaphanousness
and our bloods are beleaguered
by our collective consciousness
and we reach our denoument

But allow us our fugacious, ineffable imbroglio -
our labyrinthine link of amalgamation.

The blank black monitor tosses my reflection back to me, but oh,
What it does not know!
I soar with falcons!
I digest sunlight and push it through me to make - the stuff of life!
Words do me no justice - they  have become more than strings of letters I wear round my neck -
Today I shed my clothing and emerge from twelve months' darkness!
Today, my tendons stretch and rejoice with the strings of violins!
The curvature of my lips: Mountains I will summit!
I shall pry open my jaw and let my warbling cry be heard by all creatures of the earth!
With novice and newfound delight I will skip between buttery daffodills! and exhale euphoria!
Fantastic felicity flutters on the wings of a painted lady, her proboscus curled like the toes of a child in the shrieking exhilaration of summery ocean waves rippling over glassy sand!
Streams cascade over jagged rocks and roar -

I
am
liberation
!