I want to know why
I began to cry at the sound of your voice
Why you crossed my mind twice as much
Why I began to fall

I want to know when you stopped smiling when you heard my name
When you began to not care how I was doing all the time
When I stopped crossing your mind at the end of the day
I want to know why

They’ve got ahold of me
Ahold of my love and my feelings
Gripped although we were close
As I walk, I long
Long to be with you
But, as if you were here
You left
This state of mind has me talking to the moon
Wishing you were looking too
Maybe if
There was more time
And less distance
Then our love would stretch far

Your eyes, prettier than you say I am
You got your nose pierced and it’s making you harder to resist
Your smile, brighter than our futures combined
But hey! I never would’ve met you if not for our minimum wage jobs
Your rep, worse than the instability you give me
People tell me no, that you just want me for reasons I want people to want me for
But hey
You’re cute and looking at you can’t hurt, can it?

when I talk it's never the right way
the way that I knew was right before?
when I walk it always sticks out
Did I use to fit in?
I'm in a rut and I can't crawl out
there are ducks all around me swimming smoothly
why am I paddling so hard?

we never talked
we never...
I knew stories
I knew...
I loved you
I loved...
I miss your voice
I miss...
the person I knew as you would never hold up in court
its been a year since you left this world
I know more than I knew when you walked with us on this dreadful earth
we never walked
we never...
Did I know you?
I knew...
I loved the way you talked
I loved...
I miss your presence
I miss you
I miss...

I'm in love with someone who hates me
I'm in love with a *****
a horrible person
someone who would rather not hang out with me
have you ever talked to someone you used to be heart in heart and step in step and then they left
they stepped out of line
they took a path you'd like to but they have created a blockade
I want to follow but I'm too far
I've fallen in a hole and you don't believe me
I've cut too deep, but not deep enough for you
maybe if I hurt more
if you saw me cry for you
if you saw me spend my time figuring out what to say
less symbolism
no more vagueness
more love
understand me
I can't keep deciphering you boo