At one point in time, you just want to surrender,
Accept that you're weak,
Maybe you were never strong to begin with,
All you want is...





Defeat (relief)

There's just one you for me,
There's just one me for you,
Hold on tight,
We'll see this through and through

I kept holding on; I was afraid of losing you
I'm letting go now; I'm afraid of losing me.

This isn't a poem,
I do not like missing you

Come on out,
We are friends
You've fought demons for so long,
Am I beginning to look like one?
You are a closed door,
With a terrified child inside,
I am a gentle knock,
A friend on the other side,
I'm begging you to let me in,
But you just continue to hide,
It's going to get darker, love,
The demons will eat you raw,
What will I do then?
Knowing I should have tried once more,
So you can scream and pant,
Throw all the hissy fits you can,
I'll be here

The vagabond needed a place to rest,
Let it find some comfort,
*Don't become home

You have the most beautiful smile,
Breathtaking,
Especially that careless one,
When you think no one is watching,
But I've stolen a look,
There's no hunger or poverty in the world, for that moment, I swear
Time stands still,
The curve of your lip, and the glint in your eye,
Set everything in order

There is only so much I can do from the outside,
Your life is yours alone, as much as I'd like to think we share it,
We don't

You smile and laugh, put on a show,
Sometimes I laugh along,
That's the only chance you won't let me go

These barricades and fences,
Put up around your heart,
I can see through them!
But can't tear them apart

In a bulletproof vest,
I'll fight with you
And one day, a long time away,
We will see this through

Exquisitely scented, beautifully petalled, long stemmed,
You shared them with me in all their glory,
I was in awe of their splendour
But then I noticed, they had thorns too,
Thorns which didn't reduce their beauty, rather made them real,
When I asked you about the thorns,
You hid your callused hands away,
And denied their existence,
You didn't want to lose the admiration of their beauty,
And I didn't want to overlook the reality of their thorns,
Meanwhile, the roses withered

Tired of this person I've become,
Not what I intended to be
23 years of being her,
And look what it's done to me
A reflection of everyone that touches my heart,
With no true identity of my own,
A fruitless, strong barked, withered leaved tree,
Of seeds the grim reaper must have sown
I feel shallow, and vacant,
I feel old, but still nascent
With the Midas touch of crap,
I destroy everything I touch,
I appease the people I hate,
And hurt the ones I love much!
Careful where you stand,
Quicksand is potent here,
Make a decent life of yourself,
Don't let me come near

On the menu tonight,
You have some,
You serve some

There's a deaf silence,
And traffic's passing sound
There's a loud noise inside,
And no one hears it around

There's a void,
And a gripping clench,
There's a weight on the chest,
And an unbearable stench

Is this that calm,
Before the proverbial storm?
Or is this the alpha and omega?
Where oblivion begins from

The creeping feeling,
Doesn't get shaken away,
The lighter moments are guests,
In moments they slip away

Take it away,
Take it away,
Take it all away now,
Take away the misery,
Or just tell me how

A kiss for a every tear,
A hug for every fear,
A hand to hold always,
An iced tea for hot days,

I can't offer you the stars,
They wouldn't do much for your scars,
I can't promise everything will be okay,
But I assure you one thing - I will always stay

I've come to think,
When you place someone on a pedestal,
And make them aware of it,
Even if they deserve it,
There's a burden you've placed on their shoulders,
A certain responsibility,
To live up to your idea of their being,
You stop them from being human,
Yes,
Placing people on pedestals
is an inhuman act

You moved something inside me,
Set it to the right place

It's funny just today,
You asked me, "you're an expert in picking dark chocolate, right?"
I guess I am the master of everything bitter,
And to you, it is starting to show

Love you*  isn't something you say,
It's something you *do

Why do sad things attract you?
Why do you look for a problem to fix?
Is there a healer inside of you?
Or is it your asphyxia you want to fix?
The hungry child, the hurt horse,
All you're looking for, is a cause
Something to channel this hurt,
Something you are allowed to cure,
Something that makes you smile,
Something that gives you a day to live for
You're not doing anything wrong,
In fact you're righting a whole lot,
But what keeps your heart fighting,
Maybe you've ignored a blood clot
Give some love to yourself,
It's hard most days I know,
Your heart so full of affection,
Sometimes with nowhere to go,
But pull out that guitar,
Practice your chords and scales,
Figure out the colours another time,
Watch the mixed shades, inhale

Pour all your hate over me,
Drench me in your angry showers,
Watch me dance in the rain,
Exhaust those dark clouds you've carried,
When you're done,
When the real storm comes,
From those heavy, vacant, beautiful eyes,
I'll be right here

I love you in ways I did not know possible,
Not knowing from whence, why, or even whereto,
All I know is this; I love you
I will love you till there's a beat in this mortal heart,
And even after that,
I will love you regardless of reciprocation,
or lack thereof,
I will love you till time stops,
and until it begins again,
And I will love you

You are,
Someone's uncle, someone's son, someone's brother, someone's friend,
I admire the dynamics of all that you are,
But all I want,
Is a glimpse,
Of that what you are,
**For you

May I tell you?
In all the inappropriate words,
How much you move me;
How your very existence,
Leaves me speechless;
How your smile,
Hides your dark, but lights up my world;
How I've made a home of you,
And I'm feeling homesick under this roof;
How you may have the most twisted life,
But I still feel the most uncluttered with you;
How you've become everything,
My sun, the force my world revolves around;
How every thought has an underlying thought of you;
How it has become impossible to deny the inevitable bond that you may sever, but I will always, always, always hold close,
As close as a heart and its heartbeat,
As close,
As we

Gold has a high melting point,
It can take on a lot,
That's one of the reasons for its value,
You my love, with a heart of gold,
*Are put through all these trials,
Because of your stupendous resilience,
No, I am not happy about it either,
I'd rather have my strength tested,
And just because you can endure something,
You should not have to,
No, you should not,
But I cannot change this reality,
And I cannot ignore the fact,
That you have a survivorship record of 100%,
After everything that has been mercilessly thrown your way,
You stand tall, my gorgeous love
So I am placing my trust in you,
To win this battle,
And I will believe with every ounce of faith in me,
This is the last of the war,
Lasting happiness is on its way

Watching you sleep,
Makes me feel rested
If I had my way,
Instead of you, I'd be tested
The tribulations you face,
That shouldn't be part of your fate at all,
They're mine as much as yours,
- As much as you are my all
Your eyes need sleep,
Your mind needs some calm,
Your body needs touch,
And I need to be your balm
When you laugh,
It's those moments that make my day,
When you are momentarily all right,
When moments are not grey
They say you can live your entire life in one moment,
And in moments you can know it all,
You are my moment of clarity,
You, standing there, standing right there tall

It did not matter,
It does not matter,
It will not matter...

*Unless you make it matter to you

You look at me with hope,
I look at you with disbelief,
That look in your eyes is the purest thing I've ever seen,
I want to cover you up in a blanket of love,
Guard you from everything bad,
Kiss your eyes and fix your scars,
But I find myself holding back,
For you're an angel,
And I'm not sure I deserve the honour of loving you...

Maybe these desperate attempts to prove my love,
To prove I'm a friend,
To prove all that is true,
Have led you to believe the opposite;

Maybe it needed to be effortless,
To let the effortless conversation flow,
To let the effortless comfort of silence be,
To let the effortless love bloom

There will come a time,
Things won't seem so bad,
We'll share a laugh and a beer,
For every ounce of strength you've had

I dreamt you last night,
And since I woke up,  
I've been trapped in that dream,
We were in a field,
Your head resting on lush green grass,
My head resting on you,
You were reading a book,
I was running my fingers through your hair,
For once, both at peace,
And I said, "come, let's go home",
And even in the dream,
You remained silent

Too pure to be touched,
Too fragile to be loved,
Too perfect to be desired,
Too good to be true
...**you

I'm only human,
But that's only what you are too,
You hurt me as you're hurting yourself,
Two hurting humans, whose cure's each other too

Let the light inside you shine bright,
Illuminating the darkness outside -
Which would otherwise consume you raw

It seems I have forgotten what life was like without you,
I guess it wasn't very memorable
...until you came along

Don't tell me it's gonna be a good day,
Don't say that now,
Don't tell me to be happy,
And don't give me ideas how

Don't give me hope,
Don't sell my dreams to me,
Don't tell me it'll be alright,
And don't tell me you see

Don't tell me it could be worse,
Don't remind me of how it was,
Don't admire my strength,
And don't give my courage applause

Don't let me love you,
Don't make me hold on,
Don't make an oasis out of you,
And don't, please don't, be gone

All I'm feeling is sad,
All I want is you

Mind generated,
Mind boggling,
Mind numbing,

... Thoughts

My words spoke,
My actions spoke,
Deafness was your choice

A constant headache,
A perpetual frown,
I can't even hide it anymore,
Everything is going down
I keep quiet,
For fear the words will be acid,
Garbage thoughts in a swollen head,
Silent storms in waters placid,
A dry throat, an empty heart,
Deep in the abyss,
Far from the start
Take me in, devour me once and for all,
Shoot me, take away the pain,
Go ahead, please don't stall

Am I that see through?
Do you always know what's running in my mind?
Do I smile too much?
Do you think that's all there is;
Whatever meets the eye is all there could be?
Is that what I think?
Am I questioning you to question me?
Is the world spinning around or am I?

You woke me up,
I was not asleep,
****! It was but a dream

A hole in the gut,
And a gut feeling,
Do you trust the apparently holy?

It's funny,
This momentary sense of loneliness,
I push people away,
And miss them when they're gone,
Or is it just being with them that I miss?
But it's all the same,
A passing thought,
That's all, most everyone is,
Except you, constant

You are - everything
Certain is - nothing
For you I'd do - anything

What has happened to you so far,
Is not your story;
It is the beginning of your story,
Rather, it's just the first page,
Twisting the plot,
Choosing the central characters,
Weaving the conversations between them,
Marking the end of different chapters,
While carrying lessons learned from them,
Taking it forward exactly as you want to,
Taking it forward as you wish it would have begun,
Or as you wish it ends,
That...
That is your story

When they come for me,
They'll find me alone,
No lover, no friend, no mother,
Alone,
And I will rejoice,
To be in that state,
Unchained from clutches,
Memories erased,
I care not if you later remember,
And regret you didn't let me be,
You forced me to surrender,
Made a puppet of me,
No I won't care,
That you thought me a fool,
Label all you want,
Make yourself feel cool,
I've believed your lies,
And I've fought for you,
And the real **** up is,
I'd do it again too

I close my eyes,
And you're here,
Lying next to me,
We're playing with each other's fingers,
It escalates to a thumb wrestle,
We're laughing,
Tickling each other, hands all over,
Laughing, giggling, happy,
Your head resting on my stomach,
My fingers running through your hair,
And you fall asleep,
I open my eyes

You say you love all those things,
Things I know you're very fond of,
And then you say you love me,
And suddenly I'm not sure you grasp what that word means to me

Truth comes at a price,
And I have emptied my purse to you,
I have offered my soul to the devil,
Tell me what else I can do