Suicide isn't the question
Nor is it the answer
The world is **** near emptied of hope
Who are you to say what's normal?

I used to drown in my
imagination when i was
a kid. My parents never
liked it. Locked me
up from society. Said no
to most of what i asked.
Pulled me out of my swimming
class. Tried to **** the ink
I used to write little scraps
of poetry with. They wanted
to zip my imagination and
crush my innocent little heart.
But i was lucky because i
met a boy. He unzipped
my mind. Stood from behind
and watched me pick up
my paper and pen and
start to write
again* ~

It was dark and cold. The
sea was my only home.
The waves almost eroded
my lonely bones. I cried
and ached. But this was
the result of my past mistakes.
It was hard to take. But i
held on fate. That there will
be a better place. Where the
sunshine pours on one's skin.
And the leaves fall for you on
the floor. Where the flowers talk
about love. And the wind carries poetry that used to be written
back then in the old centuries.
Where i'll find a man who holds
me with care and plays with
my chocolate brown hair. Where
he'd kiss me when I'm scared
and mend my chest and bones.
I held on fate the way a child
holds on his moms big thumb.
Met a boy who climbed up a
ladder in the middle of a raging storm. Held a hand out and told
me to go downstairs to his
home. Where the weather is
warm and the dark is gone. He
took me to a place where i
thought only existed in the back
of my brain. He took me home
and into his heart. And i said
you must be the heaven they
speak of found on earth. I love
you boy. And I love that hand
that rescued me from the dark.
Hold still now and let me kiss
your lips and pure heart. Together
we can make fine art with both
of our stories and sparks. And
sing a song a song of love a song
about the melodies we have
trapped deep down in our
innocent young hearts* ~

I refuse to be dragged in
the dark again. To let my
mother pick on me. Listen
to the trash words being
thrown at me again. I want
to take a stand. Pack my
bags and leave. Never look
back again. Dissolve in the
sky or sleep by the sea shore
at night. Go over to my lovers
home and stay . I'd taste
the devils tears as long as
that'll help me go far from
home. Never spoke a word
about the battles i have going
in my head to her. Never told her about my first poem or what
gives me an adrenaline rush.
Never told her about the words
that make me blush. Or why
did I major in accounting or
anything that has caused me
pain. Never told her about my
plans of wanting to disappear
and die.
They say no hugs are warmer
than a mothers hug.
But they lied. I didn't know it'll
feel so cruel and cold. They
said every daughter has a
special bond with her mom
too but they lied just like they
always do. I kept my secrets
under my skin and never spoke
about them but with him. I dream
of the day where i'll graduate
and move out of this place.
It feels like winter all day. The
walls of my room are like prison
cells they never saw the meaning
of love. They never saw happy
moments , laughter nor painted colours on the ceiling above.
They saw tears roll silently on my cheek. They've only seen my
petals wilt slowly and fall as the
years passed by. They only saw my colours fade away into the black
and grey. I need out of this place
and into my soulmates arms. I
need to go somewhere far
away from home* ~