She waited for ages,
for anything, some sort of sign
even just a flashing on the screen
a spasmodic vibration
but the message never came.

She thought she caught a glimpse
once or twice, in those eyes--such an aloof blue--
of something more substantial
crimson passion in his vain
anything to cling to
before her foothold gave way.

She was always dreaming
Reading signs
in the irises
figments of pigment
to color her translation
telling quite a different story
weaving a web of delusion
of homespun lies
and illusion
that someone so
selfish
could even graze the surface
of the outer shell of selfless
what an improbable
farce
what a
fool
she was.

A wish like a whiff
The assertion of bone
A face like a cliff
Hollowed out, cut from stone

Cheeks reddend by rust
Eyes dampened by rain
As the layers of dust
Settle, hide the world's' pain

A wish like a whiff
The assertion of bone
Sing Sorrow a riff
You might feel less alone

When I'm with you
It's like old honey
in a glass jar
so slow and sunny

Molten golden
nature flowing
But still, I see
where this is going

I'm not the apple
of your eye
Fruit rots and dies
Once it has fallen
A busy bee
Must spread his pollen.

Without you.
I’ve stopped laughing.
even at my own jokes.

Without you.
i’ve stopped drinking.
i’ve no impulse.
to smoke.

Without you.
i don’t ever.
lay in the sun.

Without you.
i just.
don’t know how.
to have fun.

Without you.
there is.
no one.
to impress.

Without you.
i have.
no reason.
to get dressed.

Without you
i should.
think about.
other men.

But.

for some reason…
i only wish.
to be.
with you.
again.

When will I be enough
Am I not what you dream of?
You beast, you haunt my nightmares
Not that you would care
You say “kid, you’ll go far”
Then you cut off my legs
How can I walk on water
When I’m down under, drowning?
And still you keep on frowning…

You only hold me back
You ball and chain.

I tremble not when waters clear
And I see sandy bottoms of your mind.
As long as at the helm I steer
Charted courses of your kind
It is smooth sailing, I have no fear.

But when the sun no longer shines
In the depths things disappear.
Lurking in the salted brine
Are monsters, toothed from ear to ear. 

And I, their prey, am swimming blind
Enticed by your charming allure
That muddles up a reasonable mind
Till midday mealtime is secured. 
To you I’m naught more than a snack
With deadly smiles to be lured
Beneath the water’s velvet black.

And though I suffer, rest assured
That I’ll come, sadly, swimming back.

There are lessons I’ve learned
In life love and loneliness
Such wisdom do we earn
If we choose paths of mess
I’ve seen when to look the other way,
Tasted the bitter fruit of reminiscence…
Touched the times it’s better not to say
What it is I feel in essence
But of all the above
What I  learned most from love
Was how to hide it away

Why do I see everything in you?
You’re see-through.

You’re no one.

What virtues come with that pretty-boy face?
Just face-value baby, there’s nothing more behind that space.

Did you have it designed as from the start?
Mapped out to neatly harvest my heart,
And feed it to the dark and lonely nights
Over and over, so painfully it bites.

Until I can’t feel anything any more…

And that’s when you drape yourself upon my door?

So I bring you in and pull you in and on

But I meet the merciless mouth of night after you’ve come
And gone.

But why did I get caught up in this game?
It’s not you, but me that is to blame.

Shallow as a puddle two days since the rain.

It’s just—he’s a beautiful man. What pleasure, what pain.

I thought the night was darkest
Till I saw the corners of your mind,
But I never knew such emptiness
Till I reached inside your eye.
Expectations aren't an illusion
That distortion can't reflect;
Before I was so certain,
Now you have more in all respects.
We who live outbound just don't take in.
We crave for more, desire burns right through our skin.
Yet indulgence remains a sin.  
So I'll lose this game. I just can't win.

It’s this feeling I wait for: Perfection, Serenity.
Every hour before now has no meaning to me
An artificially sweetened, chemical world
In a few moments breaths all begins to swirl.
A whirl of mankind, a homogenous shape
In an exact world, but in an altered state.
As all that’s good and green goes up in gray smoke
Everyone is magic and everything emotes.
I can still identify, but in a different mind.
This perfect serenity…I want it all the time.

Silence is as supple
As is the howling wind—
An invisible, intangible couple

At night, the world is sleeping
But Silence is awake,
Striding, spinning, swirling
Striking in a blackened lake
Speaking with the wind

Passionately embracing
Like two currents in the sea,
A flow as overcoming
But in the branches of a tree

No shattering sound of cars
Or the city’s daily din
Can stir beneath the stars
While Silence dances with the wind

They dance together hand in hand
For all and none to see
But I, I dwell from dreamland,
To hear them dancing in my tree.
The wind and Silence dancing
For the moon, the stars, and me.

I am a child
Starved for many days and nights
My belly bloats with hunger
It seems it could even swallow up
That beautiful harvest moon
That billowed across the sky
When we first fell
In love

I am the upper half of an hour-glass
Shrieking, shrieking
In silence
As the seconds of sand
Slide away
Abandoning my naked curves
As you did
I wish to take it back
Alas I have no hands
No arms to hold it
To hold you
To stop the flow
Of time

I am the sea
So vast is my emotion
So great is my desire
My hunger
My need
Is a foaming roar
Or an ocean storm
Black as hate
Terrifying
It crashes and smashes
The shore
In all its’ fury

But for all the food in the world
And the sands of time, of empires
Lost
Crumbled by the elements
I will not be appeased
My roars do crash
They fall
On deaf ears

The shore is cold
The shore is silent
The unforgiving rush
As the waters draw back
Tells me the tide will never end