I died when I told you my secret
But I feel like I’ve died many times before
I’m too scared to remember
The images haunt me
The feeling of numbness flows
The medications must be working
I miss feeling
Even sadness
This tornado mind doesn’t stop
My memory poor and full of blackouts
But like I said
I died when I told you my secret
But I think you died too when you gave me a shot
I’m sorry I missed you
Maybe in the next lifetime
I just wanted to say goodbye one last time
So if my world disappeared yours wouldn’t follow

We don’t talk like we use to
We don’t talk much at all
But whenever we do talk
You say you think of me often
I hope it’s happy thoughts
I want to lift your spirits
I don’t want to haunt you anymore

Your past isn’t who you are
It helped shape you
But it does not define you
Or your future

The truth is,
Beauty is in the details
Pay attention
You don’t want to miss it

Maybe I’m lost
Maybe my thoughts are irrational
At times delusional
Compulsive
Repetitive
Stuck in the past
I try to stay balanced the best I can
But I always seem to float away
Flying too high
I lose my grip on reality
When those tornado thoughts return
I just want to run
But I can’t run anymore

I couldn’t look you in the eyes
I wasn't strong enough to see
Wasn't strong enough to feel
It was too painful to bear
I couldn’t share my thoughts,
My feelings
With this tornado mind
They were impossible to grasp
I didn’t understand
I spiraled into darkness
Letting go of your hand
I heard the voices screaming
Telling me to stop
I wasn’t a safe person anymore
I had to leave and set you free
I needed to protect you from myself

I hope we made it out
Of this tornado mind of mine for the last time
This one went too far
Cut too deep
Violently swirling
Whipping my thoughts
Destruction I now can’t comprehend
Ripping the light from me
I’m at a loss for words with blood on my hands