I wish Americans spoke Greek.
Did you know that there is more
Than one word for
Love, in the Greek language?
Agape. Eros. Storge.
And Philia.

Agape.
Unconditional love.
UNCONDITIONAL. Love.
I cannot even
Comprehend. How much
Love that is.
Unlimited. Unrestricted.
Unconditional.
That's how all love should be.

Eros.
Passionate love.
Sensual, emotional,
Romantic love.
The physical side...
Of love.
Intense, this kinda love
Needs a while to come out.
Don't rush.

Storge.
Love as affection.
Parents love their children,
Wives love their husbands.
Acceptance into a
Special place in someone's heart.
Familial bonds. Caring love.

And Philia.
Loyalty to others,
Mental love.
This is the love between friends.
The love of objects,
And places, etc.
Not unconditional,
Not passionate,
Not affectionate. But just,
Love.

Our one word,
Love, is broken into
Four words.
I want to be Greek,
I want people to know what
Kinda of love I mean,
When I say,
"I love you."
To people.

I really wish my best friends were like batman.
I would just throw up a signal and they would come rushing to my side when I need them.
This is the signal.

I need you now, but you won't know.
You won't ever know.
Maybe months from now.

I cant just pick up a phone and call.
"hey, its been a bad day."
That's imposing on their life and that's so rude.
Tell me what to do before I let myself.

I'm such an idiot
going Crazy over
Him. such and Idiot.
he's never going to talk
To me ever Again. I
doubt he ever Will.
I probably scared Him.
Or maybe I'm just too
Weird. he'd make a Great
friend. I kinda hoped we
were Friends after that night.
But i'm such an idiot.

i want to Disappear, maybe
block him so I can Hide from the
shame. I have no confidence.
it's about Time to cry. i want
to tell His friend to never
Mention me. save me the Embarrassment.

...i'm such an idiot...

Babygirl,
Babe,
Baby.

He says that.
Those.
to ME.

He says,
"I love you"
So much.

He's unexplainable.
...perfection...

I've only but dreamed..
of the day, when I would be
Someone's... babygirl <3
and Now,
I'm his.

Who are you? A princess?
How about a cowgirl?
Maybe even a vampire?

What are you? Kind?
Sort of angry?
Full of love?

You are you. And unless you let others know.
You may never show who you are.
You will be their judgement,
Their rude remarks, you will be the empty comments,
You will be whatever they make you into.
Be you and don't let other people sculpt who you are.
It was the biggest mistake of my life.

I'm a princess, waiting in a tower to be swept away by my prince.
I'm a girl, wishing for sleepovers, manicures and movie nights with friends.
I'm a mother, looking for my children who I will love with my whole being.
I'm more than they think. I'm more than they say I am.
They are not me and I'm done with this life.
I want to be happy.

9:37pm

You aren't my drug,

Yet I'm addicted to you.
The music you love
Fuels the fire inside of me.
You aren't my drug.

Still I'm addicted to
'Babygirl' when it rolls off your tongue.
You aren't my drug.

But I'm addicted to
Vivid dreams of your warmth, overpowering the shivers that keep me awake at night.
You aren't my drug.

And I'm addicted to
The magic you disperse throughout days of despair.
You aren't my drug.

I am addicted. To
The simple 'I freaking love you.'
You are not my drug.

Drugs ****, and you
Make me alive as can be.

I stole a paper yesterday.
It was taped on a mirror,
in the girl's bathroom at school.

Do you know,
Do you know what it said?
I wanted to cry because, it was
so true.

"Warning.  Reflections in this mirror
may be distorted due to society's
interpretation of beauty."

Distorted.
Yes.

I almost balled my eyes out
because I wish what I saw,
in that mirror, wasn't what
I was seeing.

These feelings inside,
What could they be?
Love, sadness, actually just a sneeze.

Before I sneezed,
I thought something was there.
Love, sadness, maybe I'm just scared.

I just met him,
Why does he make me smile?
Love for sure? we'll see in a while.

He called me beautiful,
Says the sweetest things,
Now his friend's talking about rings!?

That escalated quickly.
Makes my heart flutter,
I'm starving now. Mind's in the gutter.

I've never met anyone like him.
I don't know what to do.
I should talk to someone, but who? ...who?

kuhfiudjqsoikybxcieruyahwjsikderyuahwjis
I'm so mixed on feelings.
This is so foreign.

i Know we have Spoken
but one Mere night, yet
It felt like Days.
You were the bright
Star that lit Up my Sky
when It was the Darkest.
you made Me smile when
i Wanted to cry.

you made me Feel.
wanted.
Beautiful.
cared for.
Reversed what my Sister
made me Feel.  
turned the Worst night
Into the Best.

I wonder to myself, are you
an Angel? sent from God to
Make me happy?
Welp, when I think of you,
i can't help But to Smile.
Grin, like an Idiot.
^.^ << I use that face
WAY
TOO
Much.
When I talk about
You.

That's my face
i Use when I'm a
grinning idiot.

Welp, I stink at writing
P
O
  E
   M
    S
For people.
I've, never
Tried actually.
OH WELL.
There's a First
for
Everything.

While the crickets chirps
And the owls hoot,
The bees buzz and
The flowers bloom.

While the stream flows
And the wind whispers,
The sun shines and
The clouds flow.

Every minute of every day,
There is life.
There is life in the world, in me
and in you. So why would I ever leave?

Every minute of every day, I am here.
And I love you.

I still miss you so much,
but you know I won't say anything.
It's like this love, or magic touch
that you have. It just makes the world
vanish and everything is okay
While the worries and all whirled
through the wind. I guess you've gown from me,
but that's not at all true on my end.
and so, with my whole  being, I plea...
come back, don't turn off the light
cause that's as sad as a sparrow
who has lost his gift of flight.

The wind whispers in my ear
As the trees beckon for my presence.
I need out and I have no one to take me.

Mom's getting loud
My sister is throwing a fit.
I need out but I have no one to help me.

Loneliness leads to bad
My thoughts eat away at my soul.
I need out cause it's getting to me.

He's on the phone,
She's on the phone.
They all are getting people out.
I need out. And nobody knows but me.

He doesn't compare her to a sunset
Or even a princess, not even a beautiful ocean.

He does it all wrong.

He doesn't hold her hand and kiss her,
Even on the cheek. He just doesn't
"Think about those things".

He does nothing at all.

I wish they would break up or take a break,
But she loves him so much.
A first love is hard to let go...

Not that I would know. Probably ever.

Love. Love... Love.
I guess I only ever imagined what Love would be like.
I honestly thought I knew what Love felt like.
I have been told that I
Greatly overuse the words 'I Love you'.
Never did I know, til the day I thought about losing my grandma,
Did I experience Love...
In the moment, when I thought about losing
The one I love the most,
My heart hurt, tears burned my eyes,
&& memories rushed through my head,
In the blink of an eye.
Small became my lungs,
Making the world fade as my breaths
Became shorter.  
My voice was gone and the world,
Just a simple blurr.
For those few hours that I sat in bed,
Worrying,
Crying,
Thinking about her,
About what I would lose...
And I finally figured out what love feels like.

Tears drip
D
o
w
n
my Face. In
Sadness. In
Anguish. But
Mostly In
Love. Raw,
True, Love.

Cuts, Blood, Suicidal
Thoughts. Stress.
Depression... Mere
Heartache. All occur in
Many. So very Many of the hearts That
I Love. So very Deeply.

I cannot Bear to
See this, or let Such words
Ring throughout my ears.
This is why I taste Salty
tears So often. nothing I do
can Save them from This
misery. this Hurt.

advice, A listening ear is all I
have To give. and Love. this Is
why i Cry. Not to Prove my love, but
Because I Love.

I wish I still wrote poetry.
Or even stories... but I'm done.

I'm past the stage in my life where
All I do it hurt because my "friends"
Made me. They told me things that
RUINED ME.

They were my downfall and I'm done.

Done.

I feel like I've lost her.
...like he won, and
Every else is in on it.

It's sweet, that they are so in love,
But I didn't want to lose her.

We were already drifting,
And now it's official.
I've lost my best friend to the love,
Of her life.

He says,
"I
L o v e
Y o u"
...but why?

Could it be true?
This is all so new.
I wonder what he means.

Yet, I love him too.
Who could've knew.
He's the man of my dreams.

I really wanna talk to him.
Hear his voice &&
See his cute little face.
But there's no way. And it makes me sad,
That I may never meet, this wonderful
Young man.

Some day I'll wake up and feel
comfortable in my own skin, and be
Able to wear more than sweatpants and t-shirts.

I'll have clear skin, or
At least not huge red patches and
Craters in my face and feel confident in my "no makeup" motto.

One day I'll feel beautiful and have
Faith in myself and the courage to
Believe, one day I'll have a husband to love and cherish.

Today, I'll try and not dwell on what needs to change before I get there.