I seem to have found you. My precious I know have a cause for my very being. Life has yet again become a blur, all for you. Your laugh is like silk, a ribbon I want to smother myself in. Your eyes are like blue-bells in a field, I could get lost in them. Your face, a flawless meadow that leaves me speechless. Your voice, a golden stream of chocolate that I want to bathe in.

I seem to have lost you. My precious I know I have fallen again. Life yet again has become an empty glass, wanting to fill up again. Your laugh is like silk, and I miss the sound of it. Your eyes are like blue bells in a field, I could regret the times I spent locked in them. Your face, a haunting reminder of my pain and your rejection. Your voice, a golden stream of lies that I can't stop inhaling.

Just let me out, I don't want to be stuck in your eyes any longer. Just let me out, let me have meaning again. Just let me out, I just want to be free from you. Just let me out,

i want to dream again.

For light I do not know, and love I do not care.
But a lie I did just receive and give you.
For light I do know and love I do care.
Allow me a reason to set you free.

It the long drawn out nights, and romantic sunrises,
that set forth a stream.
Your life is intertwined with mine, and as a river meets another
Allow me a reason to bring us together.

I once wrote a song, a long piano ballad.
The notes told of you, of me, and our ever storybook love.
Now here we are with the world around us.
Allow me a reason to sing you to life.

My life is a simple being. My purpose, a simple endeavor. My goals are a simple feat. I spend my life working and wasting what seems, to you, like years. I am at peace with my simple existence.

As I wander in the front door, a familiar smell smacks my nose. I run to the kitchen as fast as my feet dare to carry me. When I finally reach it I smell your favorite perfume, Rose of the Night. I see your favorite scarf draped up against my chairs and your french toast sitting cautiously on a plate. I hear your golden voice echo through my apartment. I hear your soft footsteps fight the silence. Your seduction calls out to me, but you being the spider and me being the fly causes me to fear you but want you all the same.

You walk out of the room towards me, your white dress skips along the floor. Your eyes beg for my love, your heart but empty yearns to be filled. I feel myself begin to sweat, and I become ****** in to your beauty and your fake love. You come up to me and kissed my lips like you did in
the days when we loved. I began to ask why you came back, but we both knew the truth. Your other lover chose to break you. The man you chose over me broke you, like I said he would. Yet you thought that he was better than me, you thought he was the missing piece of you, though all he wanted was a gift that you wouldn't give.

When I gave you my heart, you treasured it, held it close and gave me back yours. But through time and temptation you broke away and stole away what soul I had left. You ate me alive and now I will not let you keep me here.

"Leave me alone, and next time you come back, bring me back my love so I can keep it from you." I said.
She never forgot me, but she never forgave me. I never let the carnivore take me under again.

Dear William,
          It has been 3 days since you left me alone here. Your death has been one of the toughest parts of my life. That day that your mother called to tell me what happened was one of the worst days of my life. She told me, through tears of grief, that you were driving home from school when a truck hit your little car. They say that you died instantly, which gives some hope that you didn't feel any pain. What I never told her was that I asked for a ride home that day. You brought me to my house, and as usual, dropped me off with some crazy hopeful phrase. The words you said that day are ingrained in my head forever. "Don't hold anything too close to yourself, because if it gets ripped away from you, you will never recover." I guess you were right Will, I never did recover, that is why I write this to you. I could've have taken my carpool home like I should've, but I didn't. Instead I wanted to spend time with my best friend, the guy I considered family.
         At your funeral I will put this letter against your headstone and leave it there. The only person who needs to hear this is you, and if you hear this I will be brought to peace with myself.
         I only wish I could've told you one more time how important you were to me. That day you came to save me from hanging myself was one that proved that someone cared, you cared. And now I miss you more than ever.
      
        You were more than a friend, you were my savior, and that is why I will miss you more than most people will ever know.

    Your Brother Forever,
    Riley

The day I met you was not unlike this one.
It was a cold day, one we all have lived.

We met on a day where the sun was high,
and the day sparkled in the new born snow.

On the day we met you walked in from the cold.
Your purple jacket was stained by Gods powdered sugar.

The day we met your cheeks were red and your blue eyes shone in the sun.
Your smile captured my heart, trapping it your soul.

We met on a day when life was hard.
And your gaze freed me from my suffering.

On the day we met, I lost all hope,
For you were greater than I.

On this day, you are gone and I am here.
For you are greater than I.

Disappointment.
All I seem to receive.
The letters on the wall seem to prove that.
I give my blood.
I give my life.
For What?

From the beginning I saw the true you
With your eyes on fire I knew the life you loathed

From the beginning I knew we could be happy
With my spring of life boiling with love

From the beginning you wanted nothing
With your resentment I believed in love

From the beginning I learned
With love comes a commitment

A road you didn't want to travel
A life you didn't want to live

They yell and scream into my ears, letting me know where their heart lies.
They point and laugh and say "He's just a joke.", letting me know their opinions.
She laughs and says "You're not worth my time", letting me down again.
He tells me it'll be okay, even though we both know the truth.

I drag my thoughts and dreams with me, up this stairway of life.
At the top, in a golden light, lies the ivory that whisks me away.

Away to a place untouched and beautiful.
Away to a place where I cry.
Away to a place where the waters of my tears flow in an endless melody across the crimson sky.
Away to a place where I can dream and not have you crushing my ambitions.
Away to a place where my love can flow like a river, free and never ending.

Away to a place where my sins and regrets don't follow.

It is just a small place.
A little corner of a full house.
It is easily over looked.
All the world is a distraction around it.
A few words is all it takes.
And now that corner is bigger than ever.

In this little corner is abuse.
In this little corner is evil.
In this little corner is regret.
In this little corner is death.
In this little corner is fear.

The oceans breeze flows gently towards me. The salty air stings my breathless lungs. The sand between my feet moves at the slightest pressure. My parents are smiling and waving at me, my sister and her friend are already in the water. But for me, this trip is not for playing in the water or tanning on the beach. This is for building My Kingdom of Sand.

I watch the land and prepare for construction. Watch the way the air and water battle effortlessly around the sand. Watch the way the sand builds up between the cracks. Watch the way the grains nestle between my feet. The land works itself. Natures finest workmen are the wind and the waves, crafting every beautiful detail into the painting like beach. Nature built a wonderful Kingdom of Sand.

The sun is high and the time is right. I reach my hands down into the sand, pulling towards myself a glob of sand. Each grain telling its story, each grain preaching its own tale. I begin crafting My Kingdom of Sand. With each sinking of my shovel into the ***** sand, the land bends in my favor. I manipulate the beach to do as I please, just as an evil king moves his hand to **** whom he pleases. The evil king built an evil Kingdom of Sand.

My first tower is built and my walls are up. I look up into the sun and close my eyes, letting the fiery globe fill my heart again. The city looks beautiful and I pour my heart into its people. All of my time and all of my energy is used creating this beautiful world, where all of my needs and all of my people love me. All that's needed is love in My Kingdom of Sand.

Soon the city is finish. The towers and walls are all safe and secure. The roads are clear from invaders and the earth is safe again. I stand up and smile, as now my tiny utopia is finished and all is well. As my eyes wonder towards the ocean, something catches them, like a little boys favorite toy. I see it clearer than I have ever seen anything before. I have seen a beauty. A beautiful girl whom in my very eyes is staring right back at me. Like only a dream can manifest I run towards her and she towards me. We embrace in each others arms and our eyes share that loving glance. Never once do I think of My Kingdom of Sand.

After a day of love in the ocean, she walks into the sunset from which she was born. I smile and wave as I watch her walk away. When I can no longer see her sun kissed skin or her ocean blue eyes, I turn back to the grim reality of My Kingdom of Sand.

What pleased me and kept me so very entertained has now, by pure circumstance, been turned into a thing of the past. I walk past it and kick down the main gate, knowing I will never see beauty like that again. I very slowly think of the panic of my citizens who's gate has just been knocked down and how they are free to be attacked. My sister runs past me, hits me and says "Tag!"and I smile and run after her like all is well. My mind would never flee to the women I met. My mind would never recall the hours I spent in My Kingdom of Sand.

My Dearest Love,

I woke up today with yet another text on my phone from you. This one contained words I didn't want to hear.
"Not again, PLEASE not again." I say to myself as I prepare to hear the words I dread the most.

I read the words you wrote and my greatest fear was brought to life.
You didn't care about everything we shared.
You didn't care about the laughs we had.
You didn't care about the times we spent crying in each others arms.
You didn't care about how much I sacrificed for you.
You didn't care about making a fool of me.
You didn't care about how I shared my heart with you.
You didn't care about me, and now I know that.

So my dear, you have become one of the past.

Do I hate you? No.

Do I love you? Sometimes.

But a stream doesn't flow "sometimes".
And a river, through the rapids, carries through.

Your Favorite Play Thing,
River

Blood Fall.
Zealous Jealousy.
We work for what we love.

With trees among the bodies of dead.
Empty,
             Gone,
                        Trying.
With no hope the grass weeps for her voice.
Late,
         Never,
                      True.
The worlds miss your artwork.
Beauty,
             Honor,
                          Talent.
But for time and tears will never coax her back.

The night is dark, the gifts are wrapped and the lights are high. The children are tucked into their cozy beds and the parents are drifting towards sleep as well.
Soon all the world is dark and eager with anticipation. Children dreaming of their presents soon to be unraveled.

But outside the minds of the innocent children. Outside the room, the hallway and even the house, lives beauty.

The Snowfall is Gods sugar falling from his cup of warm coco.
The Snowfall is a dancing ballet of tiny crystals.
The Snowfall is the frozen tears of the broken.
The Snowfall is a staining love that falls on the beautiful lovers.

Life doesn't go on.
When your life is from a tree.
Just fall from a place.

then life lives love
but how can life live when ones love is broken

my heart is sealed in your smile
but your love lives in your life
not mine

i'll sing you a sad song and you can cry in my arms
but now your tears are gone
and so are you

i can stand and smile and wave
but inside your gone
and my heart is still in your smile

my love is life and life is your love
but we do not live
and life does not love

now i walk as an empty man
an empty man looking for love again.

When away from you my life is simple and easy.
Avoiding you is a single obvious thought.
But when you are near you are hard to avoid.
Your smile, so quaint, but yet it reminds me of pain.
Your face is so beautiful, yet is kills me inside.
I refuse you in every aspect of my life.
But your physical beauty blinds me and leaves me alone.
I fear you seductress, for your powers pull strings deep in,
My heart.

Holding you in my arms as we move to music, is a feeling I can't describe. The way we move to the beat shows just how lovely you are. You move as a flower in a long lost field, the breeze takes you as if no one is looking and your ballad of motion begins. 5 days from now I will realize that I am dancing with Love and Loss.

Alone on this hill over looking each of our worlds, alone in this life holding only to each other. A regret comes and tugs at my mind as I pull you under the covers. 4 days from now I will realize that I am dancing with Love and Loss.

At dinner that evening you gave me a glance that I knew I would soon remember. Remember when we danced our way into another heart break? How hard it was to unravel the strings of Love and Loss. 3 days from now I will realize that I am dancing with Love and Loss.

Today I asked your father if it was ok to marry you. He said he had always wanted a son that would love as he was. He said I was your world, and that all you ever needed was me. 2 days from now I will realize that I am dancing with Love and Loss.

I just want to feel important, not loved, not needed, not happy or satisfied. 1 day from now I will realize that I am dancing with Love and Loss.

All I needed was you, but not for love. I needed you to show me that loves great twine was an eternal knot.
Now I know that I am Love and Loss.

I'm sorry.

Today I found a sheet of paper,
telling me future.

Today I found I friend,
telling me I'll be OK.

Today I found a secret,
telling me the truth.

Today I found forever,
telling me why.

Today I found love,
telling me how.

Today I found sacrifice,
telling me what to do.

Today I found death,
telling me The End.

Today I found comfort,
telling me to rest.