No matter how my day goes, I find myself ending up here.
It's past midnight and I'm sleepless like every other night.
No matter where I go, I find myself looking for you in every word and every sad song.
It's terrifying, how you managed to consume every single thought in my mind and made it all about you.
No matter how hard I try, I find myself running through the old scars you've left on me.
It's 3 AM and all I think of is the way you used to run your fingers through my hair, the way you took my breath away each time you looked at me and how you were both my heaven and hell.
No matter where I leave to, I find myself back at the same place you've left me and with the same ghosts that haunt me.

i didn't really know until
i took that polaroid of you;
you had your hand over
a candle flame and the
shadows dancing between
your fingers illuminated
the spare patches of snow
remaining on the playground.
there was no mistaking
the draining of my swimming
pool of ego as i witnessed
you staring out from each
ice crystal reflection in awe:
your smile tumbled down
the slide and spilled into laughter
while
your voice lilted up the rock wall
and sang in triumph at the top --
and this is when i knew i would
write another poem about you.

i forgot to mention  i've been
drinking my coffee black --
and sometimes, for the hell of it,
i write love and hate in sharpie
on my knuckles because i can't
get it tattooed. every now and then
i even try to carve your name into
the knots and whorls of my spine,
just so i can make believe
i am the man in that one song
you always seem to be singing.

My mind is moving much too fast,
To ****** a slippery slumber.
So I'll ache and wait,
And watch my brain wither,
As loneliness quenches its hunger.

A soul that has a body
A mind that has a face
Feet have left a trail
A path I've come to chase
The distance that I tred
Behind seems an unfair race
Yet once and twice again
I fail to keep up pace
Is this the fate I bedded?
The choice is right nor wrong?
Sinking, my feet graze the core
Preluding a swanish song
In the wake of my good sense
I feel as I've had none
Rewriting logs that should have been
Yet all is said and done
A chance. I see. I jump.
I make the same mistake
I fall. I cry. I'm crawling.
Again. No sense I make.