my mother always
used to stress
the importance
of opening my
mirrored closet
doors at night,
so they wouldn't
reflect my night-
mares back at
                 me;
"it's too much
sadness for
sleeping."

but i never listened,
feng shui being
another silly
pastime or
science fit for
housewives --
how wrong i
was with the
stars, perhaps
i am again
mistaken.

maybe if i had
just kept those
**** doors
open annually,
these putrid
thoughts of
mine would
escape into
the ethers and
fade into non-
existence instead
of polluting my
mind and dying
themselves.

listen to your
mothers.
nothing good
can come of
doing otherwise.

have you ever seen the moon drop from the sky?
it’s a surreal feeling; floating
steadily as the night dreams around you.

[one day you'll realise
dreams are rarer than you think;
not everyone is free enough
to find what they've been searching for.]

all these crickets they croak;
they sing my sorrow in static.
did you ever really feel?

[when you do, i hope you'll remember me;
and the way you took your words
and shot all the stars from out of my sky.]

aside from that the world is so silent
just like your thoughts of me.
did you ever really see?

[when you do, grasping his hands;
someone so rough and deadfeeling,
with your children all bleeding

I hope you remember my face,
and cry like I do tonight.

and die like I do tonight.]

because now only the wind and the moon
hold my heart in place.

A cigarette drips,
Between fingers and lip.
As the dark of December,

Hangs.

Mommy said I'd love all boys,
But Mommy wasn't right.
I loved one boy for a long while,
But it didn't work out quite.
I found a new love, I swear it's true,
With all of the blue in the skies.
I didn't even stand a chance,
the second I looked her in the eyes.
Mommy said I'd love all boys,
But Mommy wasn't right.
I felt like my world was shaded too dark,
But my savior brought the light.
Her laughter chimes with the sound of bells,
Her eyes are brown and green
She acts like she's just so tough,
And her jokes are so obscene.
Everything that doesn't make sense,
Makes sense when she's around.
She has me falling headfirst into a freefall,
But I'll never touch the ground.
Mommy said I'd love all boys,
But Mommy wasn't right.
I can try to forget her and change my mind,
But her face is the last I see at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.