I hold the key
To a lock I should not open
But one
That needs so desperately to be opened

I don't know what to do with the key
It lays there in my palm
The solution to a problem
I cannot be the one to solve

I run it through my fingers
Feel the cold hard steel
That holds
So much power

I have tried to give the key to others
And they use it for a while
But the key seems to always
End up back in my hand

I am glad that I can hold the key
For it is a blessing
But anymore
I know it cannot be mine

I hope someday
One comes along
And unlike I
Able to use and hold the key

But until that day
I will open the lock
When I can
And wait.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

Slowly she raised her tired eyes
and began to tally for me
my innumerable inadequacies.
I leaned back tired and shaken
ready to ******* bitter medicine.
There is no sadder statement said about me than the truth,
independence and self reliance present themselves as virtues
but i have come to realize they are the only things
that have led me to be as proud
and as lonely
as i truly am.
Is this all my fault?
Is it in fault,
that i wish i had followed sheep like and blissful
into the norm that breeds satisfaction
or at least some numb equivalent?
For all of you
I will smile,
Wave,
Glisten,
Grimace,
Weep,
and bare wide my yellowed teeth.
Because the bliss that we call freedom,
is just the most subconscious part of obedience.

John Keats
John Keats
John
Please put your scarf on.

I am in love with fire. I want to cut the throats of kings. I want to drink dark red wine with strong-hearted women (if you sing to me/I will love you). No God or man would dare deny me. I am the master of my own  reality. I scream at the top of my lungs until my throat gives out. Men wish to be me and beg to hunt at my side. As for women though/a wise man would not boast to a rose. The fire burns within me and I fear no other than myself. Into dark nights I go singing and all evil I greet with a  laugh and a sharp knife.

I have scars inside that no one can see,
and I have scars on the outside I don’t
show for fear, someone will discover me.
Because I hide inside a shell of won’t.

My father used to say sticks and stones will
break your bones but words will never hurt you.
But daddy you were so wrong, words can ****.
Yet still with you I could never argue.

Dad I have changed so much in these past years.
You would not recognize your little girl,
the one who used to laugh and share her fears,
all I want is to let go and uncurl,

from this ball of everlasting haze, then
escape from this sad, harsh world of badmen.

I thought of you today
Waking up with you as the backs of my eyelids isn't promising
I can't even blink you away
So I cover my eyes with my hands
Hoping for the darkness to muddle your features
But you've imprinted yourself on the palms of my hands
And so I see you
There's no escaping it today
For today is just one of those days
Where every wall I see,
You're a brick
And every sip of water I take,
You're a drop
And every song I listen to,
You're the voice
And I can't stop hearing it
I climb some trees
To get high off of the earth
I smoke some trees
To get higher still
I then grip my fist
Ripping flesh into ****** knuckles upon it's precious trunk
Holding my hand up to my eyes
Looking at the damage that's been done
Much more than the surface of the skin could ever show
But I look still
Blood and tears drip down my wrist
I turn my hands over
But all that punching
Didn't get you out
For you're still tattooed into the palms of my hands