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I love how you go after the things you want.
2.I love how you strive to be better person,daughter,sister ,friend.
3.I love how you don’t allow fear of the unknown to go after your dreams.
4.I love how I don’t have to explain myself, but you listen when I feel like I need to.
5.I love how you are the most non-judgmental person I know.
6.I love how you can quote historical facts without provocation.
7.I love how you love music, and you get it when I love it too.
8.I love how research and how detailed you can be when you plan.
9.I love how dedicated you are to doing well in school.
10.I love how you remember things, in such a detailed way, in a way I never could.
11.I love how much you care about your family.
12.I love how you respect life and try to cherish every moment.
13.I love how you love me, even when I don’t.
14.I love your cute little hands and your little fingers.
15. I love how you can type so fast. I've always envied that.
16 I love how you cut through verbal garbage, especially when its mine.
17.I love your quiet wisdom. It helps me in life's storms.
18.I love how even when you're right, you stay humble. You never say I told you so.
19. I love your humbleness, even when there is so much you could be proud for.
20.I love your offerings. How whenever you're around, you are intentionally present in mind and you are bringing everything to the table to help or contribute just to make the person know you care.
21.I love how you can remember actors I know nothing about.
22.I love how you love me enough, to ask what I want.
23.I love your generous spirit, giving and giving and giving, not only to the people you love but to people who have hurt you.
24.I love how you ask me questions and LISTEN to my answers.
25.I love how you inspire me to be a better person. To do my best and to give more of me.
26.I love how you get so interested in things I never thought would be exciting. (sorry. History. I can’t remember half of it which makes it hard to get interested in it.)
27.I love you and how you have been through so much but haven’t let it steal your joy.
28.I love how we can sit in silence and not need to fill it.
29.I love how I don’t have to talk  but you know how I feel.
30.I love your style, and your beautiful hair.
31.I love how you aren’t afraid to wear what’s comfortable to you.
32.I love how freaking adorable you are in grandpa sweaters.
33.I love how comfortable you are with yourself.
34. I love how honest you are even when it doesn't benefit you.
35.I love how you’re not afraid to let me see the emotions you feel.
36. I love how real you are.
37.I love how you don’t sugarcoat things,how you deliver truth with grace.
38. I love how you  make sense of things I can’t even begin to understand.
39. I love your strength and how you help me to be strong.
40. I love your courage to try new things.
41. I love how you become an advocate for the people you love.
42. I love how you try to understand things that others are unwilling to acknowledge.
43. I love how you think so much, and how thoughtful you can be.
44. I love how hugging you feels like home.
45.  I love how you are shamelessly devoted to pop culture trivia.
46. I love how smart you are and that you are confident enough to show it.
47. I love how passionate you get about the things that interest you.
48. I love how you are so loyal.
49. I love how you listen to my fears and don’t laugh or try to placate me.
50.I love how you support me and continue to encourage me to find the way to my dreams,.
51.I love how you intentionally go out of your way to include me and others into your life.
52.I love your determination to live this life in this best way possible.
53.I love how detailed you can be.
54.I love how organized you can get.
55.I love how you can plan and execute things so well.
56. I love your truthfulness and honoring our friendship with honesty.
57.I love how you are so patient with me when I don’t understand.
58.I love how you believe the best of me.
59. I love how you work so hard for the life you want.
60. I love how you can discuss two sides of things without forgetting how you stand.

and you don't live near me anymore,
we go weeks and months,
without talking,
but I love you still,
and I always will.
Sorry its not a poetry, but I needed to get it out.
you focus on the pills,
I try to stop the fading,
I've been fading,

and the thing that breaks my heart the most,
is You love me with your demons,
and I take it in,
I take you in.
every time.

and there's bruises on my arm love,
from another fight once one,
just to be lost again.

And you, you find lovers in smoke covered rooms,
and the demons run rampant,
and you leave me,
worrying at home,
all alone,
ever alone.

You say,"you do not own me, you cannot control me"

and you carry you modge podge jaded notions of romance,
around like it's a suitcase, to wear and tear,

but you light my fire from the outside in,
proving your the one to make me feel,
you smile like the crooked monster you've become,
now your smiles don't even meet my eyes,

and "baby baby baby..."
you promise me rainbows and picket fences after every time.
its the line, I've bought it,
and for every step you take a yard,

there are scars to prove it,
I have scars to prove it.

And there are days i wear them like stitches,
they hold the broken pieces
of this broken heart,

still there are other days where the light of a new days dawning,
and I can pass the etch a sketch on my skin
as creative badges,
ugly to be sure,
reluctant trails to nowhere safe,
and lines to color in.

BUT I refuse to be your prisoner, so please sir, watch me leave.
crawl up my skin, sit here beside me,
will you listen?
listen to my heart break,
listen to the sad songs I'm still trying to write.

just stop,
here.
be here.
with me,
turn off the thoughts of you just for a moment,
and listen to me,
I stop for you,
and the world will spin without your finger tips pressed to plastic,

Gosh,
I am screaming in this silence,
I filled this canyon with thoughts of you,

I defense.. I mean I defend. for you, I do.
I put it away,
and I shove it all down,
saying I am fine,
wish you put up a hand,
to find mine,
and we're laying in the dark now,
I've forgotten how to speak,
and there is time but I am weak,
you haven't tended to me.

but I've quieted these demons,
heart,
I've pushed me aside,
"I always value your life over mine"
Inspired partly by this song: http://youtu.be/FSMZZaxC8RM
" I will always value your life over mine."
and she  breaks me down,
with consistency her ,
and I chose the path of weakness,
I fought so hard for love,
not meant for me,
and I struggled against the marriage of  insecurities in my reality.
_________________­___

and this truth lays,
between us,
like the valley of the dead,
whose dreams have withered up and died.
__________________­__

I get lost in you're memory,
as I think,
I wrap your love around me,
closer than my skin,
and there are tears,
till all I have left is a d.u.l.l. ache.
Only remembering loss,
blindsided by the raging emotion,
and damage wrought to an unprotected heart.
"and I am hurt,
I am pain,
the only thing I remember is your name,

there are moments I remember ,
snap shots, re-winded and reviewed,
stretched out through time,
and pour them out,
through my mind,

I am a mess of raw parts,
and bruised bones,
its overpowering my senses,
I repeat all the lines,
but you grew a garden in my mind,
you send me back there with just a look,

and in this moment,
I remember,
the heat under your stare,
I mutter things like I don't care,

heart you are of no use to me,
I want to lock you away,
and put you in repair,

o yes I remember the strength of your stare.
"And I am hurt.
I am pain.
but I walk with raw emotions,
like tethered strings,
wrapped 'round this heart.
and I am strength;
mindless in pursuit.
I walk. I wander.
Knowing what I want,
unsure of your desire.

I'm a puppet on a string,
and you're the unknowing master.

I sing symphonies in my sleep,
driving passion effortlessly.

and as this war rages,
I throw my body in front of you,
with out thought.
Just the rhythm of my love for you,
ringing in my ears.

And there are holes in me,
and it is how it should be.

One thing I regret,
that I failed to make you see,
hang up the strings love,
this is my offering."
Wrote this for my brother(Adam) after he had been broken up with by someone he truly loved.
I run my fingers over the scars,
that line your wrist,
and I smile,
thinking that they are parking spots,
for my wayward hands.

and your voice I hear it still,
and I follow the sound of your whispers,
dancing in the echo of my hollowed out heart,
and my innocence reverberates against all I know,
against all I know now.

we laid together under a canopy of stars,
and the fear of getting caught the mosquitoes of our existence.
we stood close to the fire hoping we'd get burnt,
seeking the danger in desire, just to feel,
and we exchanged hearts communicable disease...

the split wasn't even..
it never was.
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