you fall asleep, and I make songs to the rhythm,
and my breath and I want to stretch this moment around me and crawl inside the corners of you heart and setup shop there, or coax the stranger smiling outside your windows, to explain to me the delicate nature of you're ribs, and tell me why you don't swing like you used to,why you avoid reflective glass?

I wrap you up,
I feel your cold,
I call on strength that I only use to give away,
never for me,
I wouldn't know how to see, the me,
to use it on,
but I can focus it on you,
I can make your next breath easier than the last,
I carry that truth with me,
and its enough for now.

And I am beating at the windows,
banging at the door,
clawing at skin,

and I keep talking,
hoping you'd hear me,
and let me in.

And I don't know where you're going,
I don't know where you've been,
or how we got here,
and your breath was my breath,
and I don't know how it got so bad,
I don't know how I'm still breathing,
and I re live every hurt,
every pain,
and you've run along,
you mixin' passion and lust with new addictions,

I just wanted to save you,
you were searching for destruction,

You never loved me...
you never got past the pain.

You never loved me babe,
I'm not even sure you know how.

we live as opposites,
my words and I,
and we shape one another,
in our struggle to survive,
and we are different,
my words and I.*

I hold my arms out,
to carry you,my love,
But I am screaming, NO!
against you,
against all the things you've put me thru.

It is simple,
but you complicate this,
breath,
in/out/in/out

I squeeze my eyes shut,
against the vision of your scars,
I ball my fists in effort,
straining against your gravity pull,
I ball my fists to end,
what would be another chapter,
never ending, falling deliciously,
falling into what I have always known.

I hide under the covers,
trying to control my breath,
I know you hear me,
but you allow me this moments
panic,
this moment it's thoughts,
you allow me this moment,
and I can't help but remember,
that,

you give me the choice,
you allow me the decision,
you give me your beating heart,
and say do what you will,

and I do what I will,
because I can't decide what to do when I am standing over the edge of a canyon,
and all I want to do is fly,

you allow me this moment,
to see everything we are,
and everything we are not,

and underneath these covers,
it is warm,
but I feel the cold air find me as,

the tenor of the room changes,
and I'm so afraid I won't be,
enough,
that the experiences that litter your past,
will call you their lover again,

I'm so afraid of losing you,
I'm pushing you out the door,

And I meet your eyes one last time,
and their is ocean in turmoil
and I am the one who churned the waters,
but I know someone's calling your name in the distance,
even though they might never call mine.

And I took for granted your love dear,
I trampled the edges of your heart,
And I sink my teeth into your raw parts,

you've paper mache-d back together,
made with the feelings you hide,
and the bits and pieces you despise.

AND WE ARE BROKEN.

broken parts,
angles, and points,
ragged edges,
like our ragged breath,
we fight the war,
we live,
everyday,
fighting the existence,

We live for the moment we stop and feel,
and I have been  living my tomorrows today,
in search of the escape of my sorrows,
and I've been planning my life like I'm already late.

I feel out the landscape of your heart,
and I know it more than this old soul,

and we trace the contours of the in between,
and we don't even want breath,
we exchange our airy breath,
like sailors lose their voices to the waves,

I fall into you like this is all there ever will be,
like I'm supposed to,
Though words, that could define us is,
what we truly seek.

We dare not speak,
we grow to fear,
the indifference of the words said,
launched without thought,
that could,
that would,
pierce the world we live,
and in this moment,
i could die knowing
I drowned in you love dear,
and that would be enough.
You'd be enough.

We sleep on couches,
we know the floor,
but with you,
my reality is a castle with secret gardens,
a sleeping beauty, awake.

and I want to bake in  the sunshine of your love dear,
pull down the covers,
and awake love.

I've counted the hours.
I've paid my time.
Willingly knowing, that there's the sun
at the end of the tunnel,
I fight the muck, I fight the mire,
May we never tire my love.

don't bother to hold me hair.
and ****** why do I feel the need to lock you out,
I don't want to have to share.
I don't.

I have carried you on my back,
trying to help you,

and now I am empty and I can't focus on your pain
like you want me to,
I'm empty and I feel the harsh brush of bitterness climbing up my throat,
to form the acid on my tongue,
and I bite it back,
but my insides rage war,

And I love you.
we've been through,
death,
divorce,
****,
***,
Sarah,
but I'm...
barely breathing,
and I'm not sure you're seeing me anymore,
this breath is waning and I can't focus on you,
any more
or maybe it's so hard to past the news feeds of your life,
I resent that I have to ask you, to care about me,
I thought you know me,
but maybe you know the "me",
I used to be.

and can I just say whats on my heart,
I wish I didn't have to teach you how to love me,
you get me on so many many levels,
but jump back to the basics,
I dont want to be the supply and demand of my own needs,

You say you've never felt more closer but I'm not sure if you know I breathe.
I want more from you then this, how many times have a put your needs before mine,

And I can't do it this time,
and find love,
in life's leeches,
thinking I'd be the cure,

and have sat and rage war beside you,
but my insides hide,

you're hurting me cuffing my wrist chaffing this heart
and I'd burn this if it didn't help the bleeding of  my heart

i'm sorry all I want is for you to be
happy but all i see is the water now that surrounds me,
I jumped in to save you,
but I have,
and I didn't save a vest for me.

were just drowning together no one better off then before,
but i no longer want to commiserate together, though I'm in love with the storm.