six days left to live
and it's getting hard to find
anything left to give
anything left inside
there is no life in these hollow bones
no place i can call my home
i am alone
i am alone

i'm so tired but i can't sleep
so hungry but i can't eat
so restless but i wanna die
so sad but i can't cry

i'm so sick of staring at a screen
sick of no one hearing my screams
i'm so weak but i act tough
pretend that i am enough

i'm so scared of my own thoughts
scrutinizing everything i'm not
reminding me to lose some weight
the ***** leaves a bitter aftertaste

i'm so empty but i'm still here
so broken by my own fears
so hollow and i know it
so dull, but no one noticed

they said, "achilles, come down"
but i feel safer up here
knowing that i'm in control of my fear
up on this roof where nothing can reach me
hiding my face so no one can see me
they said, "don't fly to the sun"
but i burned up my wings
cutting my hands on all my broken things
lines of vermillion across palms, wrists, thighs
a midas touch of gold as every piece of me dies
some myths stay in your head
some legends ring true
sometimes i just want to forget about you

i don't find myself afraid of death
or of drawing my final breath
i don't want to die, yet i know i must
and pray that i am not turned to dust
and that's what scares me in the end.
the thought of eternal punishment;
or the idea that maybe there is no afterlife
and that i've been raised on yet another lie.

i've been so sad lately that i had a dream
about someone who truly loved me for me
he was smiling down at me as we danced around slowly
and just for a moment, i didn't feel so lonely
but when i woke up, i tried to remember his name
or the feel of his hands soothing away my pain
but i couldn't even recall his face, despite my endeavors
which is a shame, cause if i could, i would've stayed there forever

i have no refuge in my sleep
my dreams are no sanctuary
but waking up provides no relief.
i no longer know what to believe
and i have no refuge in my sleep.
sometimes i lie awake
terrified to slip away
other nights i let it fade to black
and beg the nightmares to take me back
in my mindscape, i see you and me
and sometimes that makes it hard to breathe
sometimes i drag myself out of dreams too deep
and wake up panting and trembling
and in the real world, i find no relief
but i have no refuge in my sleep.

the frost stretches its cold hands
across the wind from foreign lands
watch your breath dissolve like smoke
in stars and moonshine and soft fading hope

the night sky is dripping, its eyes are awake
from the red sleeping fox to the quick deadly snake
the leaves are all weeping as they fall one by one
we'll pick up our messes and leave when we're done

the canary is watching, its gaze like a coal
burning straight through you, making you feel whole
there is a promise in the way it spreads its downy wings
the wind whispers around it as together they sing

the clouds are your sisters and brothers and friends
so lay your head down, angel, let's try this again
the lilacs are drowsy with the hope of tomorrow
don't cry, let the rain wash away your sorrow

in the dawn of tonight and the wake of the sun
promise me one thing when all this is done
tell me you'll come when it is my time
on the drop of a penny or the spin of a dime

leave nothing to chance, love, when all things are over
take my hand and i'll wish you a peaceful cross over
i will stand at your graveside and sing you a song
and whisper apologies all the day long.