Flower

Flower 10h

"I don't love him anymore"
I say with conviction
So then why does it sting so much
When I hear about him with her
See his "I miss you" text to her
And remember
That that could've been me

Flower 4d

A Hug

The storm crashed
The thunder raged
The lightning crackled

But I was safe
Safe in your arms

The wind swirled
And my body dripped with rain

But I was safe
Safe with your body against mine

Your friends stared
Maybe they snickered

But I felt loved
Loved as the storm crashed around us

Flower 6d

Words that Burn in Your Throat

And do you know that feeling
When you’re about to cry?

It creeps up your throat
Making that sizzling sound as it goes

And you fight so hard
To push it down
To keep it down
To hide it away?

It’s the same feeling with the words
“I love you”
They burn in your throat
Hurt your eyes
Torture your mind

But you push them down
Because if you spit it out
You’d be pushing him away

Flower 6d

Remnant of the Past

That old Spanish test
The one we both failed
Was a reminder

We discussed it in hushed whispers
Outraged at our grades
That paper served as a reminder

A physical item tracing back to a true memory
A fragment of the glorious past
A reminder that once it really happened

I was looking through my old work from school and came across this test we’d both failed. It was crazy to see it; proof that I didn’t imagine everything. Proof that once it truly happened

#memories #heartbreak

Flower 7d

True Vulnerability

I hate sharing what I consider true vulnerability with my family
I’ll tell them I failed a test
But never how insecure I am
My mom thinks I’m this glowing confident girl
She thinks I don’t care about what others think of me
Care about boys
Or drama
None of it
In her mind, I am secure and mature
But I’m not
I hate myself so much
I hate my flat chest
My unruly hair
My wide nose
My skinny body
My red hands
My huge ears
My uneven eyes
But I’ll never let them know
I’ll call my sister beautiful and pretend her prettier face doesn’t make me squirm

I’ll keep my vulnerability hidden from them

#sad #insecure

Flower Aug 8

To Yearn

A yearner
To yearn
How would you define?

A cry sweet for love that seems quite so benign
Or a soft spoken whisper you’ll never confine

A wave in the ocean that tumbles and churns
Or a hot summer day that continues to burn

A sunflower turning its face to the sun
Or a butterfly fluttering about on a run

All these descriptions seem vaguely discreet
Because true earnest yearning is quite obsolete

The yearners have lived and the yearners have died
And those of us left are beginning to cry

This is different than what I’ve written before and I’m not sure if I like it, but I’m experimenting

Flower Aug 8

Say It Again

Say it again, please
Let those words trail from your lips one more time
Tell me I’m beautiful
Tell me I’m smart
Tell me I’m worthy
I need you to
I need to hear them
Even if it’s just once more
Maybe that will be enough
Maybe then I’ll believe you

I need constant reassurance of my worth from the people around me