there’s a new girl at school today
i don’t know her name
i said i loved her hair
i hope it made her day

im addicted
im addicted to hating myself
im addicted to crying over you
im addicted to longing for the warmth of your touch
im addicted to reliving moments in my head i would give anything to get back
im addicted to looking at you and still getting butterflies
i know i shouldn't, but that's why its called an addiction

6-25-25   1:56pm

I'll see your favorite number
and the moon will look back at me
the barista saying your name
or our song coming on the radio

maybe it's the univer playing tricks on me
who knows
either or
you're still all I think about

walking into school
i almost had a heart attack
i swear i saw you walking
right in front of me
i heard you’re laugh
for the first time in months

i put some speed in my step
as i walked to chemistry
trying to get you next to me
i couldn’t believe it was you

but of course
it wasn’t you
you’ve been dead since last july
so i the middle of the hallway
i started to cry

i was warned
i'd fall for you.
stay away from him,
they said.
sweetie, he’s bad news.

i laughed it off,
thinking i knew better,
thinking, that this time
would be different.

i always loved a challenge.

three months it took
for my mind
to catch up
with my heart.
by then,
you’d already
moved on.

“such a happy girl”
2017: yes cuz i’m getting ice cream!!!
2024: yes cuz tonight i am attempting.

see the difference?
no?
i wouldn’t think so.