What is faith? A fleeting dream that shatters, leaving shards of doubt and pain. A desperate attempt to grasp what's lost, a consolation for the heart's deep stains. Deep chills seep into my soul, a numbness that refuses to wane, forcing my hands to tremble like autumn leaves.
Why does it feel like a cruel mistake, a futile race against time, in this desolate urban landscape where faith is just a hollow claim? My body yearns to dissolve into the damp, empty air, to escape the weight of a home that's lost its care. I'd wish I could witness life's haze, instead of this slow, agonizing daze.
Fill my tomorrows with the beauty of sorrow, I'll try, I'll try to hold on before I fade away, and after I'm gone, to see you and weep with the last smiles our hearts can sway. Let it slip away; we only have one chance to try. Make it a memory to cling to, a bittersweet goodbye. Dropping it with all the smiles and tears, knowing deeply we couldn't stay entwined.
The first time I saw you, I felt my heart shatter, like a fragile vase dropped on stone. You gave me this feeling I could never recapture, a moment's beauty, lost, forever unknown. Feeling alive, yet dying inside, life's brevity taunts us, creating the beauty in our fading tides.
Perhaps that's the cruelty of fate's surprise, crashing down on our hidden eyes, filled with dark, desperate pride, and a fire that's lost its warmth. Some faiths are better left behind, for I'm not strong enough to face the pain. It's better to see faith evolve, a slow goodbye, until the heartbeats of all are silenced.
What's in your eyes is the salt of my tears, when life splits us apart like autumn leaves, and we're left to wither, rust. Just know missing you is becoming a haunting melody, the visions of you keep me bound, knowing I'll never be free.
What a life of faith has made people refuse, what they say and pray, until this day. But for me, you are my way, my garden of fading light, my never-ending, darkest night. Acceptance creates perfection in all of pain, giving me direction, leaning my days with the coldest rain.
Here's some modified version of a poem I wrote back in 2016