When Things don't go the way you wanted
You blame me
When you cry all night
You blame me
When we fight and you start to yell and scream
You blame me
You say it's all my fault
Maybe it is
Maybe it's my fault because I didn't leave sooner
And for that I blame myself

𝒜 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒸ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓈ℯℯ.
𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓈ℴ𝓂ℯ𝒷ℴ𝒹𝓎.
𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓂 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝒶𝓇ℯ, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓉. 𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷ℯ 𝓊𝓃ℯ𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷ℯ 𝓉𝓇𝓊ℯ ℐ 𝓅𝓇ℴ𝓂𝒾𝓈ℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓎ℴ𝓊. 𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝒹ℯ𝓈ℯ𝓇𝓋ℯ 𝒾𝓉 𝓉ℴℴ

I miss you more than you know
One day you were here
The next you were gone
My Mom called me downstairs to tell me the news
As soon as she said you were gone
I didn't believe her
I thought that there was a mistake
It turns out they were right
You were gone
I cried because my heart broke
Every memory of us flashed into my head
You were my best friend
You still are
NOBODY can replace you EVER
I love you
You were like a sister to me
I remember crying so hard that my whole body ached for days
I should've called you that day
I wasn't there
I miss you
Why did you leave me?
Your gone now
I will never ever get to see you again
Now I have to live my entire life without you
So I play our song ( Not About Angels ) on repeat
And the intro to the song
Reminded me of your funeral
They played our song
It literally broke me
Even now I don't know If I will be okay

Why all of the sudden do you want me now?
After all of these years without any contact
You decided that now I am worth it?

I've messed up my metabolism
Because I compared myself to other people
I didn't eat for three months
I lost hair, I lost weight, so I gained an eating disorder
I tried to hide it from other people, especially my parents
Every morning I would dry heave until I threw up or until I couldn't breath anymore
Normally It would last for 15 minutes or more
I was passing out, and I was emotionally unstable
I weighed myself 3 times everyday
I was only 150 pounds
For me that was too much
I wasn't skinny like the other girls
It's been two years since I stopped eating
I'm still facing the consequences of that
I have to be on antacid pills
I can't eat a lot in one setting
I have to be on better eating schedules
Because now my body doesn't tell me if I'm hungry or not anymore
I have to accept who I am now
I have no other choice
Because I still have an eating disorder.

I was so fragile and young
You never really cared though
I was nothing but a child
And you made me hate my existence
How Could You?
You never saw all of those nights
I cried myself to sleep covering my mouth
To make sure no sound got out
Or the times I hid in the closet so you couldn't find me
Yet you hunted me down
You thirsted on my pain
You found pleasure in my cries
How could you?
You made me feel like I was nothing
Here I am years later
Still battling depression  
Caused by you.

Our love's     It's a game
One you thoroughly enjoyed
You let me fall into a trap
A poisonous game
Can't you see
I'm done