How could I forget
Already said that to you

Every now and then
I will sink into my skin
Absorbed inside self importance
Within destructive tendencies

Feeling the weight of the world
And the burden of responsibility
Hiding from fat shame
Bitten off more than you can chew
Tasted the apple that had fallen from the tree

How the mountain spirals
Constellations like daisy chains
Planting these orbiting recoils
Fighting habits deeply embroidered
Weaving the pattern of yesterday  

Energy for a war with my bed
Energy for the thoughts about death
Energy for a void in my guts
Energy to feel tired for love

Give me something
You gave me a chance
Now I’m back where I started
At least how it feels

So I’ll get back up
Because why not
You have failed enough
To know the steps

Wandering the darkness and liberty
Giving me purpose

And changes to yours
Lost going forward and checking my shoulder
Streetlights look like men
Listening to my downloaded music
Girls speaking loudly on the phone
Headed down a steep *****

Delivery drivers flash by
My shadow the only passerby
Foxes lurking for some company
Want to be able to speak
To say how lost I feel
Some nostalgia every now and then

Walking towards my old school
When I used to be smaller
And felt equally big
Thought it would be a good setting for a horror movie

Shadows cast by tall trees
As headlights pierce through the dark
Was nowhere near the pier and arcade
But could always hear the ocean in my ears

Spiralling shells collapsing inwards
Suffocating the house you admired  
Now you sit on the salt grit box
Waiting for the snow to melt  
And for the sun to come out

A clock in the mirror through a window
Walking my usual route
Seeing the same car parked
Headlights staring me down
The same old song on repeat

Been so long
Have seen the moon
Turn red and white
All this time has been heaven  

Looking over my shoulder
Has only made things more eventful
Sitting on the wall where couples kissed
Making me miss you
And jealous too
Makes me feel like paradise

The sticking points losing their touch
We used to dive into drops of rain

And not reverted to nothing
After everything that has happened