It hurts
"I'm sorry"

But still kept going

I'd rather that you hate me
Instead of you feeling nothing for me

Compliments are so nice
They make you feel
Like you actually matter
They make you feel
Good

However
Why is it always
“Hot”
And never
“Pretty”

Am I only my body?
Makes so much sense after realising this

I’m only hot enough for people to want me
But not pretty enough to make them stay

It hurts
Hurts to try and forget the person
That you loved so deeply

After all they put you through
All the emotions they made you feel

The tears they made you shed
As well as the disgust
That you ought you would never feel for that person

But also the butterflies in your stomach when you are around them
Or the smell of their perfume when you walk into a room
That brings you back to the happy times

Unconditional love is something powerful
Too powerful even

Because when the person is not in your life anymore
Why is calling them your first thought
When something bad happens
Or when you accomplish something

Why is getting rid of things they gave to you hard
Or the need you have to wear them
When you know they will be around to see

We all wish our brain was not this complicated
We all want to forget that one person
That gave us everything and left us with nothing but sorrow

Eu vi tudo
De cima abaixo
Todas as sardas
Todas as cicatrizes

Eu beijei-as
Eu fiz com que a dor passasse
Mesmo quando ela voltava

Irão sempre existir cicatrizes
Não só as dele
Eu fiz o melhor que pude
Para o ajudar

Eu dei tudo
A minha saúde mental
As minhas relações sociais
O meu corpo
A minha alma

E tudo isto para quê?
Para receber um obrigado?
Para ele fazer as coisas que prometeu que nunca faria
Outra vez?

Será que eu voltava a fazer isto tudo?

I only shared my story
All of the awful things he did to me
They way he made me feel

So how am I to blame for his mental health?

Was it me
By also telling his friends the story
That made them go away?

Or was it his ****** attitude?
Or the way he reacts when people say something he doesn’t like?
Or maybe even because he kissed his best friend’s ex?
At that friend’s house

If they were really his friends though
They would have talked to him
About the bad attitude he had
But still be there for him

But is it my fault for sharing the details of our relationship?
It was MY relationship too
It was MY privacy too

I did say somethings that maybe were too personnel
But honestly?
I could not give less than a ****

Guess I got my wish after all
His life is a bit miserable now

But why do I still feel bad?
I hate feelings

It’s night
Lying in bed
Once it was a wonderful thing,
Now I just look at the ceiling
Where the stars and the moon are

They shine
And they make my memories shine too

All of the good times
Come flooding my brain

However
I’m lying in the same bed
Where I cried
And cried
For those exact memories
To come back

Only to find emptiness
Suffering

The stars and the moon
The ones he gave me
Are now just a constant reminder
Of what a time of my life was

Should I take them out?
Remove them from my ceiling
So the memories stop?

But the problem is
One of the things I love the most
It’s a starry sky with a beautiful moon