There is no way
I would see you again

your inattentiveness
and insensitivity
are appalling

If I had wanted
a companion like you
I would have
taken a stroll
through a graveyard.

Cold marbled sky
numbs the pain we carry
on nameless streets
where
tight-lipped strangers
curse each step they take
and legless cripples
hold out torn paper cups
so close to our lips
that we become intoxicated
with the suffering
oozing from their presence.

I have been a soldier
since early time,
my sword concealed
in passing
but, you,
saw my hidden wounds
and cleansed them
with your caring.

I am not alone

Images and pretense,
wind and rain
walk hand in hand
with me
this cold sober eve

They whisper to me
cruelly
of a warming beating heart
once full of love,
no longer able to feel pain
in its numbed corridor

I can no longer stand
these endless lies.

Everything has been written
so don't ask me
for progressive ideas
any longer,
the revolution
is history

the real change
is taking place
in my mind.

Everything
is changing,
I catch myself
wanting
to hug a stranger,
it would be like two friends
embracing.

Fear touches me
now
as you pass through
my warm cloak
full of ancient lies
and I feel you warm breath
next to my heart.

February 7
foreign date,
someone's yesterday fantasy,
you cannot come home
to a real lover
now,
she's not there,
she ruined the fantasy
with her leaving you
cold at the airport

now,
you can tear down
everything
she stood for

so you can feel
comfortable
in your safe palace
filled with
sweet smiling nymphs
who stroke your swollen ego

maybe now
you can find
your ideal woman.

Why do you make me so uncomfortable
standing there just so quietly, waiting,
for words which just aren't there

If we could reel back time
I would retract that promise which
somehow was expressed to you,
probably by an intimate embrace
or perhaps by a mirrored reflection
of your own fantasy

But let me just say - I wish you
would comfort me by your absence

Images of a man and woman
come forth,
they look so fine together
their personal nightmare restrained

like figures forming a play
they seem so pleasant
carrying on in the day's light

what is clear is never questioned
sad, that we may have been spared.

Bright yellow and green
in motion
no choo-choo childhood fantasy
no miniature red caboose,
just rows of somber business faces
drained of all emotion,
which they store in old glass jars
at home
in some out of the way closet
along with
old after-shave and perfumes,
no long usable
on party occasions
because their faces feel too vulnerable.

How often could it happen
we came upon each other suddenly
passing as two figures in the darkness,
strangers to one another
yet, we shared a beautiful feeling
as we embraced each other's soul
and afterwards I felt like crying
for I have loved her always
(and her smile tells me she agrees).

On the train tonight
a madman shouted out
that I live a life of pretense
filled with clever false images

I should have strangled him there
but he was right -
the lies have to stop somewhere.

Its been a great long ride
but I don't want to leave you yet
all the fond memories go whisking by like a flaming rocket
a reluctant witness to the eternal cycle of life and death

I know you don't want to hear this
and neither do I
but the realist within
showed up like a show pony
prancing to the band

I wish  could tell you
what's on the other side

Fall of my years
come sweetly
come easily
take my hand and walk with me
Promise to be gentle.

From being famous
to obscurity
not an easy journey
the endless accolades
the reverence paid
the endless gratitude
the feeling of omnipotence,
all gone,
and now,
searching for relevance
an unlighted journey
into the unknown
an untethered existence

Soldier
standing in the doorway,
turned his back
on the ugliness and pain,
turned his back
on the shocking glimpses of death,
turned his back
on the horrible past
he could not undo,

Soldier
standing at the bar
reached out to a woman
embraced her with hunger
and left in silence,
he felt no warmth,

Soldier
standing in a mirror
staring at himself
started to cry
turned his back.

Cold, ***** water
rushing through
our small wooded ravine
on such a bitter day,
the wind blown rain
made worse by shocking cool air

oh, what do you tell yourself
on such a nasty day
to keep your mind fresh
and alive

do you hear the faint whispers
which follow you
endlessly
beckoning you to listen
but, out of earshot,
as if by some mad design -
seeming out of your hands,

but, wait
don't leave me now
without listening,
I want so bad for you
to understand,

oh, go then
in your empty hurry,
racing only yourself,
you fool -
I wanted to give you my heart

Sometimes I lose you
in a world
of confusion
and fear

sometimes you just won't
hang around to take
all the crap being flung

and there I stand
alone
without you
never sure of our past

as little glimpses come back to me
your pathway becomes clearer
and I hurry to embrace you
so that we may become strong again

but, as life moves on
I cannot hang onto you
for I know we shall part again
and again

yet, how could I ask for anything more.

they said it was ok
to shoot him in the back and **** him
because he and his company were bad
because his company denied some claims
because we live in a capitalistic society
and they want no part of it

these spoiled delusional brats
with no concept of
living in a lawful society
feeling justified with their vigilante violence
just hating and hating
for each new cause that comes along
like lemmings gathered on the edge

how would these immoral brats feel
if someone shot their father in the back?

would it be justice or a crime?

A  daily mask
purveyor of a soulless smile
and feigned empathy

the patrons seeking truth
blinded by the dense wall
filtering out both sorrow and joy
like a vicious guard dog on patrol

the blunted emotions
have nowhere to run

truly a trade gone wrong.

Time to howl
never-ending loud music
a crush of familiar unknown faces
women with corner smiles
hidden desires
drunkenness
clumsy meeting attempts
disappointment
shame
heading home.

I am angry
you have not
moved the Earth
for me,

don't speak to me
about love

wiser than your years
how you so easily
walked away
from the throng of humanity
and placed your stamp
so firmly in the ground

that we became intoxicated
with your strength

Everyone has gone to sleep now,
they don't really care about
what is happening to us
or why we stay up
night after night
struggling
for those shy, elusive words
which lie in our depths

but, let me just say
its not for idleness
that we sit here
almost in darkness
staring blindly without expression

no,
its those faint whispers
which tantalize us
endlessly
speaking their wisdom
so eloquently
yet, always so quietly
and often
their soft caressing
soothes me in a warm embrace.

Frightening, isn't it
we're all soldiers
yet,
we cannot remember
when the fighting started

can you still hear
small children crying
softly
in the roar of battle

they want no part of it.

A paris apartment
it is late afternoon
you are coming home from work
to me
like never before

sitting beside me in fading light
you whisper that you love me
it is all I can do to be still.

I no longer wish to keep this from you
having once told you how good life was,
the certainty of its path
predictable patterns for the gifted to see

No longer will I tell you of life's mystery,
of mystical forces beneath its banner
or of shadows weaving amidst one's thoughts
for at this very moment
aged illusions wane from my side
and I stand naked in their retreat.

I'm running away
from you
to a safe place
where you cannot cause me
any more misery or pain,
you have tortured me long enough -
the scars speak for themselves

I was so high
until you found me
and became a constant companion
exaggerating my every fault
while silent in my feats

you selfish self-righteous *******
always tearing down others
desperately trying to get at yourself
but, you're too unconscious
for such personal insight.

Your memory fades
like stiff autumn leaves
quietly dancing away
without warning,

centuries past
we were together,
sounds of laughter and love
cannot keep you away

at last,
the tired door closes
rudely ending all dreams
and you are there,
waiting

I pretend I do not know you
but, it is useless.

And one day when you grew tired of turning,
only to find no one there,
tired of ransacking your mind
for positive thoughts to keep afloat,
you reached out to me
motioning for me to enter your life
and put an end to self-doubt,
to blanket you with my touch, my kiss, my soul.

I lost touch with myself
so many centuries ago
that the tears don't mean much now
they visit briefly like strangers
without meaningful expression
and when they leave
I dream of a heavenly past,
glorious days of the heart
filled with a passion for living

but only faint echoes remain
and I curse this dimly lit corridor
I have entered
seemingly with no end.

You could have walked with me
into a many splendored field
of unspoken dreams
had I not been frightened,
the utterly powerless feeling -
a captive of love,
anything, everything,
could you have in a breath

The daily compromises,
an endless prostitution,
no longer could I stand upright,
In your absence, dignity would be restored.

I heard the news today
the letter said
we're sorry about your poetry
but keep trying

so blind to the truth
no one will confess
to putting out your eyes

when they catch him
I will rush to his side
and proclaim justice
was done.

Love,
its eternal flame
constant and strong,
while lonely disguises falter
in silent pain
and fear penetrates deep
like small cracks
sweeping through ancient porcellin;

we reach out endlessly
for love
holding only our honesty
within.

Quiet lonely night
I think of you,
of how early touches
became easier,
your soft embrace
warmer
assuring me our love
would last
forever

our moist lips meet
gentle and caressing
warm and loving,
striving to be one
as we ignore life-long barriers
living only
in this moment

but,
I got carried away
this quiet night,
for
a few seconds ago -
you were still with me
loving me
and all that remains
are my tears.

You come to me
so sweetly now

only the past
knows our distance

without dreams
we would have nothing.

Dreamlike
who will believe
it is over so quickly

I must be a madman -
because only one could invent such fiction

remember the bright sunny walks
the constant attention
and touching

it may have all taken place
one afternoon
or maybe not at all

I want so bad for you to believe me,
a card, a letter, a movie stub,
will that satisfy you?

perhaps there is no convincing you -
but, please look into my eyes
when I tell you
it was worth the journey
however short

I have come away
with more gifts of love
than I can carry.

Fall of my years,
come sweetly
come easily

take my hand
and walk with me
into the twilight

promise to be gentle.

I sense endless beauty
before me
within my reach

it is everywhere.

You live
in a world
without time,
your naked body
curled beside mine,

stirring to the morning light
with your even breathing,
your eyes open
and I gently tell you
of my love,
which words
could never express.

The years
have washed away your face
and your touch
but,
they will never take from me
your lasting gift
of love.

They have been waiting
since knee high
for romance -
even before they knew
what it was about

waiting to be cared for
and attended to,
danced and romanced
moonlit evenings year long,
little surprise presents
flowers sprinkled with jewelry

it never ends
whispers of love
always so gently

it is all so beautiful
truly a wonderful notion

I just can't bring myself to spoil it.

send me someone I can yell at,
someone to blame for your life

not your parents
they have suffered enough

yes, you,
stand there and take what you deserve

you have been SLIDING
through your life

safe, protected;
unwilling to feel,
all you know are those clever games
which never end

the humor being
you are scratching your head now
thinking I am a madman
or something worse

no, the first day of your life
you decided not to participate fully

take a look at all your excuses
for not living

If I could
I would **** you now
so that you might live again.

You gave me your word
and took it away

like some innocent child
dreaming of the tooth fairy,
I have been waiting for you
and every morning I check
to see if you have come

but now I know you are never coming,
somewhere a child is crying
comfort him with soothing tones.

Everyday dreams
of finding the perfect you
know no defeat
relentless,
they are my company
they are my hope

often
in the day's light
I am called on
to try this mold,
rearranging limbs
shaping, pushing
to no avail

a lifetime of waiting

and then one day
I threw away the mold
threw away the perfect you

only to find a person
more beautiful
than any dream.

A madman
came up to me
and said he knew me
but, he would not harm me
the way you have wanted to

I trust him
because he is free
and you know only restraint
which always leads to
lies and deceits

like the time you said
you would love me forever.

you can always pick up and leave
and no harsh words will meet

I have no battle with you,
I only ask that you leave your body behind
for me to occupy my time

I couldn't think of a nicer Sunday brunch.

I can no longer keep this from you,
there are no other poets
there are no other poems,
you reading this
are merely my fantasy

I can imagine your breathing
becoming static as this point
your mind tells you I'm mad
while I am merely
having fun with you,
causing you to quickly
invent an elaborate identity for yourself
along with some fuzzy past
you would more easily discard
than claim as your own

enough little fantasy
my arm is tiring
you must go now.

Your inviting caress
was a call for sanity,
but the longing within me
cleverly blocked all paths to reason
and I strayed into a darker world
where ****** pleasure rules
like a hungry dictator,
and there is no escape
from the merciless squad
which fells respect
all too quickly,
leaving a hollowness
worse than death.

Others may not notice you
but I've seen enough of your bandages
to last forever

don't mistake this for bitterness
for I often wonder who tucks you in at night

its just there are so many of you -
some kind of war must be going on

the entire city is a secret battleground
and no one is talking about it
but I see the fear
beneath your silently screaming eyes
and often I want to stop you
and make you tell me

but I am too terrified that one day
I will find my face among yours.