Lord, I can't find You right now
And everything is crashing down
I'm losing faith and falling into my doubts
How long will I have to fight
Just for me to stay alive
I know You're there, God please
Just meet me here tonight

My God, I'm tired of trying to be okay
I've prayed all the prayers I have to pray
Please don't leave me lonely

My God, I need You to hold me
My God, I'm losing all the hope I got
I'm far beyond the point of being lost
I've tried, but I can't let go

There's hardly air in my lungs
With all the damage that's been done
Lord, please sustain me now
I know You are enough
Cause God, You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall

I sit next to the window
The sun rising behind me
It's light reminds me
Of that afternoon we were together
The sun hugging us

Hey, I'm not crying
I'm smiling, it's a good memory
Even though it hurts my heart
I knew you were happy
I was happy, that's what mattered

It's a happy memory
After a night of crying
and overthinking
I just wish I could hug you
One last time and
Tell I how much I love youu

That's the end of our book
It was a hard last chapter
But I really enjoyed or story
Every page I flipped and
read brings tears as they
are hard chapter to read
Every paragraph is a memory
But at the end we were not ment to be
One thing ik is our story will continue
but we're just strangers or just friends
You said you still want to be part
of my life didn't ask for it, but
I'll give a shot, so that's not the end.......?

I fell in love....
8 months ago....
But did he really love me
I always wondered
For 8 months I wondered
If you loved me

At the beginning
I felt you love me
It was May 26
You couldn’t get enough of me
But...
In September you just stopped
You stopped loving me.....
At that moment I knew
something was going on in your head
But I let it go and two months went by
They went by quickly......
On November... you faded away
My hands became cold
My body shivered
My head spining
I was trying to understand
Understand your face
Your expressions
Body language
And your words....
But nothing really made sense
Or I was I missing pieces
That I needed to fit together
December came by
Quite an exciting month...
Little that ik it would fall apart from then
One day I asked if you were ok...
You said... yes
But I knew you were not
January came and you became distant
Your became even dryer
You became cold towards me
But I thought it was just stress
From everything around you
Life, but...
One day you texted
-you wanted to talk to me-
My heart skipped a beat
Thoughts ran through my head
You call me the same night
You said....
You lost feelings for me a moth ago
I was heartbroken 💔
I became hot, I started sweating
Shaking....
Hot tear pour down my face
They kept coming, drowning me
The pain I felt was unbearable
As if I was stabbed in my chest

Y-you lied to me
For a moth u said to my face
You loved me, but did you really!
NO!
You didn't, it's been three day since
And now I sit in my bed
Still loving you
But your not mine anymore
So I pray to GOD that he gives me peace
And HE would heal me
And hopefully my feelings for you
Would fade away like you did

hello younger me:

all I want to say is I'm sorry
i'm sorry for judging you so hard
for shaming you
for telling you you were ugly
useless, unloved, embarrassing
I'm so sorry for hurting your body
by not eating, eating little
thinking your weight would change
comparing your body with other girls
trying to look like them
act like them, wishing to be them
dressing like them to fit in
so pls forgive me
now i see how beautiful i am
i still shame myself
but i catch myself
i listen to what others tell me i am
how pretty, kind and lovable i am
and they prove it
                             sincerely
                             your older self