Carla F. Watson's aunt Joan was an ex-lesbian who loved deep-sea diving, making pork sausage, blowing bubbles and **** dude ranching. One day, as Carla was eating a wiener, Joan took off her army boots and jumped head-first into Lake Michigan to hand-catch tuna fish for breakfast. "Where's aunt Joan?!" Carla asked Linda, the local ex-lesbian doctor. "She just jumped into Lake Huron to hand-catch tuna fish!" Linda exclaimed, even though it was Lake Michigan. "It's Lake Michigan you styupid ex-lesbian!" Carla screamed insanely. "You spelled 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 incorrectly," Linda, in a low voice, pointed out.

A PYGMY CANNIBAL ATTACK - Bob was a nice guy who used laser beams to take a crap till his phony friend Betty said: "Bob, you shouldn't use laser beams to take a crap. I use railroad spikes. They work slower but they never crack." Bob smiled, his jagged teeth catching the moon's putrid light. "Betty, you may be right about that. Perhaps I should switch from lasers to spikes? Here, take this shower curtain and wrap my dead chihuahua in it. He gave his life to save me from a Pygmy cannibal attack."; "He was a brave little dog," Betty sobbed as she slipped a small pipe bomb up Bob's ****** for fun.