Crazy Abraham Lincoln slapped Martha Washington so hard that
George's wooden dentures fell out. “Why'd you do that?”
Martha demanded to know. “Because,” honest Abe
answered, “I free slaves like it's nothing
all the time.” Just then George picked
up his teeth that had fallen into
the toilet. “Look,” George said,
“my teeth are covered
in germs from
the toilet.”

Will a veterinarian ever be the president of Urugay?
No. Veterinarians, although they're like you &
me except when it comes to toilet paper
usage, are intellectually inferior to
all people, except Haitians.