𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

A man eating meat makes him a carnivore just like a man wearing a dress makes him a woman. Carnivores don't cook their meat and put ketchup on it. Carnivores eat live animals.

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

EATEN BY MEAT-CRAZED MUSKRATS

Many settlers were eaten by muskrats during the Muskrat War of
1855. Tom, a young pioneer, settled down for a night of restful
sleep in his tent when all of a sudden he was eaten by a
muskrat, a smart-*** muskrat that would cleverly
assume his identity and go on to become a
wealthy Abraham Lincoln impersonator.

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

THE IMPORTANCE OF OLD OHIO

I must hurry so that I'm not late for an important meeting
with an important man who works for an important
corporation in the ****** travesty of Ohio. I'm
going now and I'm taking a candle with me
just in case the lights go out.

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

Grandpa's been dead awhile, so I scooted him over to the left to make room for you. The cemetery guy said, "go ahead" so I "unmushed" grandma in the adjoining coffin "just in case."

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

LONG BEFORE MEN WORE DRESSES

Just wait José! Someday your knees will buckle and you will
experience asthma and your chihuahua will succumb to dog
cramps and your sister will too and then your cousin will
double over in dog-cramp agony till nobody's
breathing on their own anymore.

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

Who owns these private corporations: the Republican & Democratic parties?

𝙿𝚘𝚕𝚊 Ｂｅｒｌｉｎｓｋｙ Dec 2024

WHY I CAN'T BREAST-FEED

When I was attending college as a young student before I became a billionaire, I often wore mismatched socks to important sock conventions that my college hosted every 3 weeks. One day, as I was rubbing termites into the ground, a famous sock executive approached me with a switch-blade knife. "Give me a billion dollars or I'll knife you!" He threatened. "I'm not a billionaire yet, *******," I replied confidently like I was Mister Big ****.