[I shall out-love everybody until there's nobody left.] For 38 years Becky wanted to smell like someone else when finally the opportunity came for her to smell like Ernest Borgnine's wife by using an excitingly-new perfume. One evening at an elegant dinner party several wealthy women complimented Becky's scent. "Darling, I know the Borgnines and you smell like one of them!" Becky was so proud that she wrote to Ernest: "Dear Ernest: Smelling like you or your wife has elevated me in various social circles. I can now mingle freely with others who have chosen (without coercion) to carry the scent of your family and for that I'm immeasurably grateful. Lovingly yours, your smell-alike amiga Becky." 2 weeks later Becky received the Borgnine family reply from Ernie: "Becky, I wish that I could smell you but alas I'm in Hollywood starring in an important movie about World War 2. Please accept this 1-gallon jug of Ernest Borgnine's Midnight Seduction Perfume. Your friend, Ernie." Becky was elated. Her prayer request to smell like a Hollywood movie star (or his wife) had been granted. Now she could attend Catholic mass like a real woman, one who smelled important; one whose scent bespoke of triumph & recognition. From that day until her tragic death in a gator-feeding mishap, Becky held firmly to her convictions which served her financially. Becky's Tuba Polish became the standard tuba polish for every Moslem woman over 50 in Sumatra, Indonesia.

SUDDENLY Nig McPeters took the wig off his dead mother's head and threw it out the bus window. The passengers were shocked because the bus was struck by lightning. "This is God's doing!" Nig exclaimed as large gerbils attacked his ****** with the ferocity and ferociousness of 23 billion clones of Richard Gere. Later on, after several years had gone by, Nig became the wealthiest man ever to exist anywhere after stealing 12 trillion winning lottery tickets. "You are blessed by God," Nig's ex-lesbian neighbor and lover said 7 months before her ****** exploded from a hand grenade hidden in the rear part of her bikini *******.

Daddy, can we go to Canton, Ohio to see FRED BLASPHEME AND THE TOOL BOX KIDS in 3 weeks? No! If I told you once I told you more than once! Those tickets are five thousand bucks each! Look *****! I just wanna eat chicken without you climbing up & down my ***! Sorry! I was just reaching for a butter knife! Your words cut through me like a knife because they were cruel or knife-shaped or written on a knife. My abusive alcoholic father slapped my mother's sister so hard that a neighbor 2 houses south fell into the toilet and broke his shoulder because he was a ****** who made the mistake of using a normal toilet for proper-height people instead of one made by the National ****** Toilet Manufacturers of Canada. "Hey John! Where's *** Pinch Dairy?"; "Go left at the stop light. Take Old **** Lick Road for 5 miles till you come to Flaccid ***** Lane and make a right onto Erectile Dysfunction Boulevard and you're there."; "Jesus H. God! The streets around here have weird names!"