Kamala F. Harris, with Oprah, vowed to fight crippled children in Africa (or wherever they're hiding). "We'll sniff the little buggers out," Oprah snarled as her big fat *** wobbled hypnotically causing Gayle King's urinary bladder to leak for 20 seconds.

Many settlers were eaten by muskrats during the Muskrat War of 1855. Tom, a young pioneer, settled down for a night of restful sleep in his tent when all of a sudden he was eaten by a muskrat, a smart-*** muskrat that would cleverly assume his identity and go on to become a wealthy Abraham Lincoln impersonator.

TOBY AND THE EX-REAR-ENDERS sang their hearts out to please the Forum of Ex-Lesbians in Scranton. "Mommy! can we see the ex-lezzies tomorrow?!" Little Tony asked desperately. "No! I'm through with ex-lesbians!" Carol (Tony's mom) said callously, like a woman whose heart was shattered by an ex-lesbian lover from college many years ago.