𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

I prayed for you for 15 years and then I paid someone else to do it.

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

ᴏꜰ ᴀ ʀɪᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ

𝗙𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗗𝗮𝗸𝗼𝘁𝗮! 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁
𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗡𝗼𝘃𝗮 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮: 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱
𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝘂𝗱𝗲, 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴
𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗴𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗻, 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰
𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲
𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲!

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

EATEN BY 800 MEAT-CRAZED MUSKRATS

Many settlers were eaten by muskrats during the Muskrat War of
1855. Tom, a young pioneer, settled down for a night of restful sleep
in his tent when all of a sudden he was eaten by a muskrat, a smart-
*** muskrat that would cleverly assume his identity and go
on to become a wealthy Abraham Lincoln impersonator.

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

Benny Hill lived from 1924 to 1992, thereby containing himself within the twentieth century. It worked out well for him as his demise was sudden unlike the excruciating death of Allen Ludden.

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

This tattoo depicts sunset over Lake Michigan in August. See the nudists? They belong to the East Lake Michigan Nudist Colony. There's mom and aunt Gretchen. She's the one with the missing leg.

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

“𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫,” 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

Chapter 4: Ten Lifetimes of Lesbian Activity ~ Carla, I missed my period which proves that my lesbian impregnation is not impossible after all! Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure, you dumb, sunt-cucking maniac! Hey, back off! You're the lesbian, not me! Sorry!

Chapter 5: Carla, I've miscarried! ~ Our lesbian baby is dead. Who told you? The doctor. He speaks in several foreign languages all at once and he told me in Romanian, or Italian, that the baby's dead. What will you do? Well, I have a Romanian language class at 2. After that I'm going to take a dog tranquilizer.

𝗣𝘰𝘭𝘢 𝗕𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝘴𝘬𝘺 Nov 29

“𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐤𝐲-𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧,” 𝟗 𝐟𝐚𝐭 𝐏𝐲𝐠𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝, “𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝟐 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝟏𝟑 𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐬 & 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝙥𝙧𝙚-𝙝𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙.”