CAN NOW FLY FOR 25%-OFF while each arm and each leg amputated earns the senior passenger another 25%-off the standard ticket price. Triple amputees get 75%-off plus and an extra 5%-off for each gangrenous toe on their existing foot. Penectomy survivors (penectomy = amputation of the *****) fly for free.

SUNDAY AFTER A GOOD ***** - Gloria set her jugs on the counter-top while Tracy played hide-the-muffin like a good little girl. “Where are my tweezers?” Baynard asked. “I'm gay and I need them.” Just then Captain Foster walked in. He had been at sea for 3 weeks. “Kiss me!” He demanded, followed by the sea-horn effect that made Chelsea cringe. “Oh, hi Dad,” she said painfully, as her ****** still stung from the hornet sting. “Why were you running bottomless through farmer Watson's meadow?” Bay asked. “I told you,” Chelsea whispered devilishly, “I was chasing an Irish fairy.” Suddenly there was a loud rhythmic banging coming from the apartment upstairs. “It sounds like the gay swingers are having an **** again,” the Captain said as his bell bottom trousers slipped to the floor. “Who wants to play Toni Tennille?” He asked brazenly.