to anyone who wants it. This is no ordinary dog mat. This one is autographed by Jay Leno and Tito Jackson with big hand-drawn red hearts on it and a smiley face that looks like Tito. I'm giving it away because I've become lame in my left leg. I'm having a doctor look at it in 3 weeks so I can't keep the dog mat. My uncle says that he would watch the mat for me till I'm able to walk normally again but I told him to ******* so that's that. Anyway, the dog mat's pretty nice and if you take it within the next 45 minutes I'll throw in a magazine with 3 ex-lesbians on the cover.

A birthday gift! I put a lesbian in a box & nailed it shut for you. For me? You're so nice. I know. I drilled air-holes in the side so the lesbian wouldn't suffocate. You are so wise. This is a wonderfully-thoughtful gift for any lesbian.

But what about the rest of us? Is it wrong for me to have a few superfluous ******* removed? Is it self-delusional to want 3 inches cut from my "monkey arms"?

who are practically innocent. Me too. 1 Friday night I'll go there & they'll be super sorry a lot. Maybe the pope will command Jesus to put a terrifyingly-powerful death-grip on their Stalin-loving throats till they crap-out in agony?

Many things. Gynecology isn't just for dentists who like women. It's for men who enjoy big-game fishing and bowling-pin setting. It's for ex-lesbians with bullet scars on their butts.