When you in a hole Stop diggin I've heard a lot of late Made me think What if I didn't? Shovel through The earths great plate Where would I end up? Which is the antipode I seek? Once I've dug around core When my journey is complete
I would surface in New Zealand Well... the South Pacific sea The nearest town is Papatowai Its population just forty I could talk to the ghosts Of Moa Tell em of the Liver birds at play We could watch the world's Last sunset As the ocean drains away.
The Mars Opportunity Rover Conked out in 2018 After fourteen years a wandering Across the dusty plains Over fifty times It's life expectancy The plucky little ******* Rolled on Finally succumbing To a massive dust storm Separated from the sun Of course It never uttered It's famous last words They were gleaned From the final data dump But the internet got hold of it And in its throat It had a lump
Oppy didn't Self anthropomorphise She did not know what that was She just died Scared cold and lonely In service to her god's
In the universe nothing's above the law Yes But on Earth nothing's stronger than love That's my case sir There in that tear drop Gripped in a rose's glove.
Shot through the hip On Flanders field Left to infect and die As the quagmire Slowly Revealed How quick it is To mulch the young To the Earth Up pop the poppies To show that What was Worth
I recall the King Kone I think that was its spelling Like a competitor to the Cornetto The 80's market now swelling For high sugar poison To shove into yer kids Although I've got to say We've only gotten much worse In the Classic On allerton road They had King Kones Not Cornettos But that's where I saw all of my movies So it's a microcosm Or maybe not cos Picture houses of a different stripe Deffo favoured Cornettos As they passed through their life In short it was a war That only one side was fighting God rest the King Kone The Cornetto ***** lightening.
When I was a kid The TarMac Used to slowly weep Bubbled up in the summer Like it was seeking relief We'd gather it up On the end of lollipop sticks Smear it on the arms and legs Of all of our friends Pretended it torture Like it was searing the skin Instead of pleasantly warm Sweet smelling Soft resin The aroma of Cypress And Cedar And Myrrh On those hot seventies days Without a care.
If there's fifty ways to leave your lover How come you only mention five or six? Is that because a magician Never reveals all of his tricks?
And if we live in the land of a thousand dances What's with the paucity of description? I'm starting to think these people Just forge and deal in fiction
Or at least vast overstatement Followed by unironic litotes The limits of the form laid bare Soon covered by the vagaries
Of broken hearts George Throughgood Projected a final score of Two thousand I'd like to see him Name a tenth of them The mans all mouth and trousers.
I have a problem with timing I can't do a soft boiled egg They either come out solid or slimey As I hop from leg to leg I know the time and temperature I'm waiting with a spoon But I drift off or go early Ovoid perfection is doomed.
When the lightning Strikes the eruption What is forged in the smoke Will fall immediate to earth See it rolling down the ***** Bouncing off of boulders Striking sparks in the gloom Creating filaments Dark gossamer For the coming terrible loom.
The greatest Road trip/odd couple/anti-buddy movie there's been Each line quotable Like nothing you've ever seen Just as Butch and Sundance Were running out of time Forced transition Layers on Laughs And Poignancy Sublime Two men chipped And polished From very different stone To meet as friends in the next life As they walk this one alone.
Went yesterday To the funeral Of an old friends mother To a new ancient church That morning discovered The fine cut sandstone Fogged in incense To its core It's sacred symmetry Unnoticeable worn When Eddie's dad Took the lectern To emote The previous Spirituality Somehow Seem mute He spoke of their meeting The birth and growth Of their son The break in his voice But the strength to go on The depth of the love So unpretentiously spun When you think Of false sentiment So readily spent The decades of devotion Is surely what the lord meant.
I've just been offered a job General Director Of Business I know not of the nature of this queerness In terms of the The direction of This business Wether general Or not The new year wind Brings a chance To slough and shake off Anything that you want.
Tilly licks her lips When the vinegar hits the chips Don't you know now She does backflips?
She'll walk by your side If you have some scampi fries Or perchance a cheesy moment When it comes to food She'll brook no opponent Were I to die She'd eat my components.
Round the corner from McCartneys home High as six kites Me and tony did gloam From gobshite the clown On what seemed a wind up Stevie had just wound up Took several calls back to make sure the truth A young man had just ripped himself out by the root Played Sunday league the next day For the wrong team And then later headed to Anfield For the game Gainst the Mancs Which we won Two nil The funny thing Stevie Worked in the box office There was six empty seats All round about us.
When Arthur C Clarke Talked of the ancestor of sadness It was largely time That was the prime factor But in the age We are in What is the impactor As all that is expands
I strongly remember My first football experience My uncle Pop kidnapped me And tried to make me Evertonian Took me to Goodison On Boxing Day 1976 That's my memory It could have been so My auld fella Lacking in making me be true he quickly countered With my Anfield debut Gainst Middlesbrogo With Souness in tow But all of those could be Centered in months And years Hence My memory is not What I used to believe.
The blue shadow Of the purple forest That Antoninus sang about Foreshadowed The doom of the oppressor Though by then He wouldn't be about For they would rule Five hundred more years But when just one man said NO I WONT! Rome began to fear.
The voice of the audience The narrator in the woods The misdirect in subtitle Exposition comes in floods Foreshadowing Foreboding Before the final reel Trying to leapfrog The meaning Before the big reveal.
Ten years ago today Jimmy and Sandra Celebrated their 49th anniversary They never got a 50th Eight days later Jimmy shuffled off Sandra missed him going by ten minutes It creases me still.
The biggie of course was Fredo Corleone Betrayed his blood Cos he was passed over He had plenty o time to think what he'd done Till he didn't on a rowing boat At the end of a shotgun
Joey pants in the Matrix Did it for wine and steak With little time to contemplate His moral mistake
You can hardly blame Lando Calrissian They threatened his people With total destruction And he made up for it later When he led the attack That threw the empire Down into hell's crack
When eagles dared Richard Burton let Colonel turner Jump out o the plane over the frozen tundra Some say he cheated the hangman's rope But Burton's logic is easy to scope Flying low over snow It might not have killed him But shattered his body So in agony freezing He had some time to Mull his betrayal Maybe he felt some regret Before his eyes went pale
And at the Hot Gates of Thermopylae After the slaughter and terror As Leonides hailed Ephialtes MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER.
Terry wogan Was a massive thing And then All of a sudden He was not Russel harty Kelly monteith james corden The unavoidable rot I suppose thats the point They seemed Mysterious then But now We know better They mixed in With The Then.
Where'd you get them spex? Where'd you get them kecks? Jesus lid yer clobbers off the chart! And frocks for lady muck Of prezzies there's a glut The fences laughing Play their part But you've murdered trust so early Gone so ******* Tory Turning self obession into art.
How dauft it work That thing that thou dauft **** Then thou dauft freely shirk O nonny nonny Counter truth dauft rise Between thou ma's thighs Dauft brings the compromise O nonny nonny.
And after it happens,I'll fall through the air, Braced for the impact that will not be there. Form tightened and strained Expecting the blow, But I'll tumble forever To what happens below.
Took my old dog for a limp We balance each other out He keeps looking up Imploringly Arthritis/Gout We don't go too far no more Round the park and back I let him eat what he likes these days It's days that he lacks The ones to come I mean He's got plenty in the past I saw him wolf his first sausage Soon I'll watch him eat his last.
Every year about this time We head to Dorset For tunes and wine And deep fried squid From thyme and tide Next to roast chicken Side by side
At le grand bouffe Heartburn won't subside With rising bile you are supplied No pieminster on this site The pie and chips is sold by Sykes Smoking buns the burger gaffe Will do you breakfast if you ask And at Tibetan kitchen The hungry crowd grows thick Ask him to save me A Yeti's ****.
The mocking bird stands careful Atop the cactus in the heat It drops its load And flys off It's yearly part in this complete The droppings contain A parasitic mistletoe seed At night comes forth a tendril When the host begins to breathe It slowly wends its way in Deep into the flesh Reliant on the moisture In which it sweetly rests It's sits there near a Calendar Then bursts out In a Blossom Of blood crimson red Humming birds drink of its nectar The cactus half near dead Then at last the mistletoe Bears its fruit And the Mocking bird returns To feast the cycle off once more It's nutrition duly earned
You always have more time Than you think you do Till you don't
You always eat more pies When your wife's away And critique the mirror for your thoughts Don't ever lose the urge To let things slip away It's one of the things that makes up for your faults You know it does you no good To keep **** locked away See it oozing Through the cracks in the vault
And the wind needs something To pull upon if it's Going to make Something rip So before you have A big swig o that milk It's wise to have A precautionary sniff
Now you don't look Anything but doomed to me With so little time left Here on this earth Still you have seen All your eyes care to see Your ways and words Have shown The world your worth
And the only time That I saw Jimmy cry Was The night Barney Conroy died.
Get up and drink Wouldn't that Be funny But we live in a world That runs on money The thing is that that means What We create Is based on the workings Of what you call hate.
A properly shuffled deck Has never been dealt the same twice And will not be either Till all the humans lose their lives It wrings the mind The scale to vast To infinity's edge Yer noodle gets cast But there's levels to all games So to madness it leads When you play the one Where the tree has three seeds.
The sky is clear tonight Clearer than for awhile Reflected off of the **** snow We haven't seen in some time There was an conjunction But I think it's now gone Like that meteor stream Came at Chrimbo forlorn I always miss things I'm not that astute But when you See the sky through You imagine it's root.