Woke up still drunk
Saw the chaddies last night
Ain't seen them boys for awhile
But they was there
In the neon light
Of the bar sign
Of that new gaff
That is called the black cat
Christie had gone bald
I had gone fat
Their Spanish cousin Miguel
Looked disgusted that
Me and Milney
Had been out all day
The margheritas were on offer
What more can I say
He's an respected man
International architect
But we bullied and coerced him to get completely wrecked
And then it was over
Woke up fully clothed
Chugged down a black coffee
My brain felt exposed
Then perceived in the distance
A rumble I could not believe
Who'd be a bin man
On Christmas Eve?

Was Alexander  really that great?
Or was everyone else a bit ****?

Staring out the window
Can't find the words
I crave
Trying to get this finnished
Coffee keeps goin
Back in the microwave.

It's the start of pidgeon mating season
And the boys are getting cocky
Circling each other like
That big Drago and Rocky
I hear them flap and peck
In the ring of green beneath my window
They look so clean and preened
As Into battle
They go
Both stand side on
One facing north
The other south
And flick precision left wings
Into
Chest
And eyes
And mouth
The two I'm watching now
Have near indentical
Neck plumage
I think they might be brothers
The old old story
Fraternal doomage
If these are Christian birds
To the death
They'll fight in front of me
Then follow the command
Layed down in Deuteronomy.

What ever happened to flashers?
You don't seem to hear about em anymore
maybe the amount free online depravity
Is enough to keep the filthy **** offs indoors
But surely the act itself
Cannot be restrained for long
It's that compulsion
That drives them
In open air
To swing
Their
****.

Get up and drink
Wouldn't that
Be funny
But we live in a world
That runs on money
The thing is that that means
What We create
Is based on the workings
Of what you call hate.

I love Easter
It like a more honest Christmas
A few months stumbling
To really what what's life is
To take the glory
Then run?
Or take the deal
Already spun?
The Apostles
All dealt in their own way
Wether the 30 bits of silver
Or Crucified upside down to deliver
The affirmation
Of the light
The truth
And the way.

Your ma described it to me
Like it was sposed to be
The here and now
Me and her
It was meant to be
But then again
I'm not sure the universe
Allows
Random ***** stuff
To me it meant to me
She wanted to get rough.

When the cab swerves
Between Judaism and Romanesque
That turn is on top
It could deffo get you wrecked

Just past the Rialto
If your cabbie ain't sharp enough
It could all go castrallto
***** ground into dust


But thank Christ that don't occur that much
You get home safe most days
The oversteer compensated
He straightens up For the front page
That could have happened
The day after the next
About some seatbelt deniers
Who ended up in a hedge
The latest o the dyers.

In the immortal words o  the late great Jonny Mathias
Oh ** oh oh oh ** oh ** oh **
Oh ** ** oh ** oh oh ** oh **
Oh ** ** ** **
Oh ** ** oh
Oh ** oh **
Oh oh ** oh **.

Gambling fallacy
Has been made quite clear to me
Quit while you behind.

I remember love but not how it feels
like deoiled orange peel
Dry rigid and shrunk
Just starting to think of that
Makes me want to get drunk
But I'm haf ****** already
So that's that debunked.

That memory you have sculpted
Though of course it was not you
Is starting to the take the polish
From being so often viewed
You used to view it as intractable
but you're beginning
To catch on
that perfect sunset
The day that you met
The moment your father died
Editing software
Gives a parallel.

How dauft it work
That thing that thou dauft ****
Then thou dauft freely shirk
O nonny nonny
Counter truth dauft rise
Between thou ma's thighs
Dauft brings the compromise
O nonny nonny.

Will the days
All fall away
Or is it
Just this one
Here to stay?

With faith in our souls
We skip toward the light
Singing blithley together
Songs of truth and joy
And *****

To left stand the illiberal
To the right the funny men
Both will badger
And deride you
Herd you to their
Favoured pen

And them that have no eyes
Will ask why you seem so shook
And you will have to explain yourself
To a dog shown a card trick look.

I've given up sarcasm for lent
It's going great.

When you walk
And then talk
Do you do it straight?
Or Are you bent on inclination?
The modern debate
Tiller handle movement
Has no effect on the wake
Could you look at yourself?
How much o this could you take?
And then expect it o them
That are clearly involved
With themselves
And the void
Hanging
Off
Of
Satans
Prong.

Cast thy bread upon the waters
And It will be returned ten fold
But what are you supposed to do
With ten soggy loaves?

I love it when you're away
My thoughts turn so light
And so gay
I float on a cloud
Unfettered
By fear and doubt
Yes I love it when you're away

But then you come back.

I boiled three eggs the other day
But only eat two
Waited for the third to cool
Then put him in the fridge
As future fuel

Left him there maybe three days
Cos I'd switched from protein
Then noticed he'd started to crack
Good lord!
I thought
This one is a survivor!

You kiss em
You rub em
You **** em
You put your mouth on em
Or something.

South Park must have watched
The Life Of Brian
Liked  the 360  degree
Vitriol spraying
And then thought
Where did they get it from?
Spike Milligan.

A weekend of Millney
Grows thicker
Through the years.

Round the corner from
McCartneys home
High as six kites
Me and tony did  gloam
From gobshite the clown
On what seemed a wind up
Stevie had just wound up
Took several calls back to make sure the truth
A young man had just ripped himself out by the root
Played Sunday league the next day
For the wrong team
And then later headed to Anfield
For the game
Gainst the Mancs
Which we won
Two nil
The funny thing
Stevie
Worked in the box office
There was six empty seats
All round about us.

Chistmas in prison
Christmas out at sea
Christmas round the in laws
Christmas alone with me

Christmas at the wainwrights
Christmas in the I.C.U
Christmas in Carcosa
Just the yellow king and you

He won't dress as Father Chrimbo
In his tattered robes he'll stay
As he eats all time and space
No prezzies he'll display

He won't watch vintage two ronnies
As the black stars rise
And in terrible twin sunlight
Your soul will be his prize.

Took my old dog for a limp
We balance each other out
He keeps looking up
Imploringly
Arthritis/Gout
We don't go too far no more
Round the park and back
I let him eat what he likes these days
It's days that he lacks
The ones to come I mean
He's got plenty in the past
I saw him wolf his first sausage
Soon I'll watch him eat his last.

Milney's got the lurghy
Milney got the vid
He's stuck down there in Kernow
coughing spluttering
He's One sick lid

He should be in the pool now
A weekend away from ******
No fine wining and a-dining
It really is a *******

But he's stuck there in st Agnes
ill with the doggies on the beach
Instead of rolling round
In cocktails
Fuckery just out o reach

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?
Well,that's because the educationalists are cruel as hell.
And why is grandiloquent such a grandiloquent word?
Try to express yourself,you just sound like a ****.

God lord them ******* can sing!

Are you
A Lover?
A fighter?
A drinker?
A dancer?
Which one these are you?
I said
A lover
A fighter
A drinker
A dancer
Tell me what  you like to do
Do you
Smootch?
Punch?
Swig?
Or boogaloo?

The bells the bells!
They made me deaf
They also made me blind
But I was ok in the morning
Cheap ******* Scotch
That isn't really that cheap.

The boy stood on the burning deck
Cowered in the terrible light
A warmth below he felt
Cos in his kecks
He'd  *****.

When you in a hole
Stop diggin
I've heard a lot of late
Made me think
What if I didn't?
Shovel through
The earths great plate
Where would I end up?
Which is the antipode I seek?
Once I've dug around core
When my journey is complete

I would surface in New Zealand
Well... the South Pacific sea
The nearest town is Papatowai
Its population just forty
I could talk to the ghosts
Of Moa
Tell em of the Liver birds at play
We could watch the world's
Last sunset
As the ocean drains away.

Ten years ago today
Jimmy and Sandra
Celebrated their
49th anniversary
They never got a 50th
Eight days later
Jimmy shuffled off
Sandra missed him going by ten minutes
It creases me still.

Where'd you get them spex?
Where'd you get them kecks?
Jesus lid yer clobbers off the chart!
And frocks for lady muck
Of prezzies there's a glut
The fences laughing
Play their part
But you've murdered trust so early
Gone so ******* Tory
Turning self obession into art.

The biggie of course was Fredo Corleone
Betrayed his blood
Cos he was passed over
He had plenty o time to think what he'd done
Till he didn't on a rowing boat
At the end of a shotgun

Joey pants in the Matrix
Did it for wine and steak
With little  time to contemplate
His moral mistake

You can hardly blame
Lando Calrissian
They threatened his people
With total destruction
And he made up for it later
When he led the attack
That threw the empire
Down into hell's crack

When eagles dared
Richard Burton let Colonel turner
Jump out o the plane over the frozen tundra
Some say he cheated the hangman's rope
But Burton's logic is easy to scope
Flying low over snow
It might not have killed him
But shattered his body
So in agony freezing
He had some time to
Mull his betrayal
Maybe he felt some regret
Before his eyes went pale

And at the Hot Gates of Thermopylae
After the slaughter and terror
As Leonides hailed Ephialtes
MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER.

The sky is clear tonight
Clearer than for awhile
Reflected off of the **** snow
We haven't seen in some time
There was an conjunction
But I think it's now gone
Like that meteor stream
Came at Chrimbo forlorn
I always miss things
I'm not that astute
But when you
See the sky through
You imagine it's root.

I've been watching
Resident Alien lately
That Alan Tudyk
Puts in a hell of a performance
The frisson of the way
He must be
Against the comedy
That the format
Clearly demands
Which creates the rub
In which
Poignancy exists
I get the feeling
It will descend
Into ****.

Caitlin Rose
Caitlin Rose
Why she Caitlins
No one knows.

**** emery the feral cat
Used to rule the roost and tha'
With evil mind and solid *****
He'd freely enter into your halls

You'd have to throw him down the cellar
That psychopathic  little fella

Then don your anti cat armour
With hallucinogenic bacon
You'll cool his ardour

Then he'd sleep the sleep o the just
Slowly synthesising his potent musk
Then come around feeling sharp
Waiting Crouching in the dark.

No one ***** with **** emery!!!

The satisfaction
Of ******* out a single peanut
NOTCH DRAW LOOSE
Velocity then impact
As the bullet hits the water
Like some whacky
Ballistic test
In a surrealistic cop show.

Frosties aren't Frosties anymore
They've changed their tack
The sneaky ******
They are now Shreddies
(The frosted one)
Sounds like AI Tolkien
The end's begun
Here I was trying to be healthy
A victim of marketing stealthy
Bracketed smallprint
Unbecoming
I still put extra sugar on em.

I don't think AI
Is as good as they say it is yet
Or it would have deciphered
All those uncracked alphabets
Or writing systems
Or codes
Or whatever you call them
Cross reading data
Dragged from
A far cast
mellenium
Every possible notion
Gets feed through the mill
Processed
Deconstructed
Then done again
until
An answer pops out
Not known since that time
And it still won't jive
With our reason and rhyme.

I always thought
You could redo Pesci's" Funny how?"scene
In Goodfellas as one about poetic effectiveness

"What the **** is narratively compellingly about me?"
That type o thing
Give it a go. X.

Will you sing at my funeral
Will you dance at my wedding
Laugh at my jokes
Always pretending
That the past isn't coming
The future descending
Down to a place
That starts at our ending
We'll always be here
And at every point too
If time's a flat circle
I want to spend it with you.

The boy stood on the burning deck
His legs were all a-quiver
He gave a cough
His leg fell off
And floated down the river.




Saturday night 70's telly.

When miserable ***** turn up
They do so in big trucks
Cos they like to travel en masse
To block the light
They won't let it past
But their convoys aren't that long
They believe they are
But they don't throng
And round a curving mountain pass
A serpent turns to eat it's ****.

If there's fifty ways to leave your lover
How come you only mention five or six?
Is that because a magician
Never reveals all of his tricks?

And if we live in the land of a thousand dances
What's with the paucity of description?
I'm starting to think these people
Just forge and deal in fiction

Or at least vast overstatement
Followed by unironic litotes
The limits of the form laid bare
Soon covered by the vagaries

Of broken hearts
George Throughgood
Projected a final score of
Two thousand
I'd like to see him
Name a tenth of them
The mans all mouth and trousers.

We're like a big tuna casserole
That's been remicrowaved
One too many times.