I went to work one Sunday morn
Overtime bound
My demeanour was still drunken
My eyes cast to the ground
I trod my way down slater st
On full auto pilot
My guts all away
The puking might be violent
I passed a dropped kebab
Perfect and untouched
Thought/loook at that,you don't see that much/
Then strode a few paces more
And scarse believed my eyes
A host o filthy pigeons
Manically alive
In a ghastly circle
They dived and pecked with glee
At a pool of human *****
To an alarming degree
I stopped and looked back
At the dropped kebab
What do they know
That we don't
What is it we lack?

I remember seeing my first Greebo
It was on the bus to town
Swaythed in crusty denim
He lived by his own sound

I must have been 7 or 8
And was with me ma
Casting furtive glances over me shoulder
At the great gallah

His hair was strident
His beard was fierce
He stunk of hippy juice
My god i thought
By his lifestyle
I am preternaturally seduced

I'm guessing through
The mists o time
He must be pushing 70
I hope his life was happy
And his rockin was aplenty.

In killarney and Tralee
It was made quite plain to me
That the blood of the land
Flows through every gland

I don't  think you understand
The power that flows through your hands
So put on your gauntlets
And sit on your paws
Before you way laste
To this land.

What's that thing that you Yanks do?
From the civil war to World War Two
From Gettysburg to the sea o tranquility
That haunting sound gets driven into me
Through the smoke and swathed in reverb
The nations emotions
Sonically preserved
Uniquely you
You ******* own it
That old evocative
American trumpet.

The terribleness of what you are
Cannot be viewed from afar
You've got to stick your head in it
Snort and gurgle your own ****
And when you high
On your fine farts
Tell the world
That this is art.

Like Shaw and Dreyfus
Like Kubrick and duval
Like Klinski and Herzhog
Just like Derek and Clive
A bit like Eric and Ernie
Not at all like Cannon and ball
Antagonism is a tactic
Not loved by one and all

How many electricians does it take
To change a lightbulb?

I met a lady in a pub
And we got on well
The chat was easy
And flowed both ways
I could feel a connection
And I think she did too
The time ran quickly
The last bell rung
Our eyes met
And the lady said
I've enjoyed speaking
To you
I've haven't laughed
Like that in ages
I feel you felt it too
She said
I'd invite you home
But I'm on my menstral cycle
I'm replied smoothly
That's ok queen
I'll follow you home
On my Honda.

I came here with my clay
Ready to throw down.

And after it happens,I'll fall through the air,
Braced for the impact that will not be there.
Form tightened and strained
Expecting the blow,
But I'll tumble forever
To what happens below.

What is that my love?
Is it the wind up above?
The end in the trees?

What goes up must come down
Except Elon's space car
It's infinity bound
Is that true?
If it keeps on going?
Chances of collision
Beyond our knowing
The fence of the cosmos
We cannot see
It will not be revealed  to thee

Unleast not yet

The boffins say never
So we wait in ignorance
Always together.

When you move between your family
And the things you still want
Do you yearn
Or are you
Reconciled with
The was the things
That don't count
Is it fresh in your memory
Or do you smile at its
Going
Content with the fact
You kept the human race growing
This is life
This family
This is the way that we are
Dreams o specialness
Get devoured by truth
In the needs o the hours.

Chernobyl fall out!
Chernobyl fall out!
Russian ******
Are nowt to shout about!

Every breath comes with effort
Every step with pain
The ****** things you did
Flash over and over again
You never see your friends
And they have never seen you
Once ruddy with passion
Now you just feel blue
Ache
Cough
Splutter
Limp
Arched over like aged cast out toothless chimp
Can't connect to the world
To my dim eyes
It's just crazy
I said it once
And I'll say it again
I wish the lord would take me.

Cast thy bread upon the waters
And It will be returned ten fold
But what are you supposed to do
With ten soggy loaves?

If men can be rakes
And the ladies get called hoes
What garden tool
Are the sexless
Do you suppose?

Gambling fallacy
Has been made quite clear to me
Quit while you behind.

Ten years ago today
Jimmy and Sandra
Celebrated their
49th anniversary
They never got a 50th
Eight days later
Jimmy shuffled off
Sandra missed him going by ten minutes
It creases me still.

Get up and drink
Wouldn't that
Be funny
But we live in a world
That runs on money
The thing is that that means
What We create
Is based on the workings
Of what you call hate.

The pan is hot
The oil it spits
Yesterday's *****
Has given me the *****
If I drop it in right
I get those bubbles that I like
Thin and crispy
And crunchy to the bite
**** hot and salty
And peppery to the max
Each one o these tasty *******
A step to heart attacks
Though the greeze and the salt
Might stop me feeling rough
I'm going back to
New York City
I do believe I've had enough.

Moon Cresta was Galaxians
And by extension Galaga as well
Sky Kid was Scramble
But they hid it pretty well
Street fighter was yie ar Kung fu
Though it made a lot more money
Hyper sports was track and field
Or the or the other way round
Memory
Is so funny
Some say Hunchback begat Donkey Kong
But that's a bit o a stretch
But nowt beats Asteroids
The original and best.

I fell down the steps
Of the Lincoln memorial
It really hurt my knees
I fell down the stairs
Of the Lincoln memorial
In front of
Near a hundred
South Koreans

We went to
Holsten's
And sat in Jimmy's booth
Bout a month before he died
Should have seen it there
In that final episode
It was written
All over his eyes.

Was Alexander  really that great?
Or was everyone else a bit ****?

I heard a few people say
Their fear of death was blown away
By seeing a picture
Of their folks
Afore they were born
In the snap
An older sibling
In their arms
Giggling and wriggling
Before the stuff that made them was formed

At that moment
They knew
Gave them truth to hold on to
There was no pain and anguish
And they were not bored
And it will be the same
After The reaper came
No one suffers
All is nothing
In the void.

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?
Well,that's because the educationalists are cruel as hell.
And why is grandiloquent such a grandiloquent word?
Try to express yourself,you just sound like a ****.

121 years twixt the Montgolfiers and the Wrights
Then only 42  more
To Hiroshima
Going on that timeline
We should all be vaporised
So our demise must be less obvious

PETA say don't kick a robot
You can see where this is going of course
Transhumanism can't be delayed
It's what we about
It's what we do
its written in our DNA

What's the difference/distance
From an artificial hip
To a neural link chip
I shake my bonce
As you scoff
I hear Leonardo
As he Scratches his head
"What is this vision?
Alexa,off!?"

Woke up still drunk
Saw the chaddies last night
Ain't seen them boys for awhile
But they was there
In the neon light
Of the bar sign
Of that new gaff
That is called the black cat
Christie had gone bald
I had gone fat
Their Spanish cousin Miguel
Looked disgusted that
Me and Milney
Had been out all day
The margheritas were on offer
What more can I say
He's an respected man
International architect
But we bullied and coerced him to get completely wrecked
And then it was over
Woke up fully clothed
Chugged down a black coffee
My brain felt exposed
Then perceived in the distance
A rumble I could not believe
Who'd be a bin man
On Christmas Eve?

When the ***** is all gone
Is it worth sticking around?
No more liquid shield
Against the drone
Of the crowd
Sober
Joyful
Participation
Might be a stretch
As you sweat and you twitch and you puke and you retch
Like that night you collapsed into and slept in a hedge
Ah sweet memories.

Do you remember
Chorlton and the wheelies?
Through the mist
It comes quite freely
But probably not that accurately
My friend

There was an angry
Welsh Witch
Cruel but unarousing
Like a some Marxist
Maggie Thatcher
On the prowl
But Chorlton was
Neurodivergent
To him it was not urgent
To seek vengeance on blodwyn
To make her howl.
But that only made her worse
To spit bile and curse
Which always led to her downfall



Clearly he won every week

The inn at the oaks
Is where we all decompose
Spiritually

With faith in our souls
We skip toward the light
Singing blithley together
Songs of truth and joy
And *****

To left stand the illiberal
To the right the funny men
Both will badger
And deride you
Herd you to their
Favoured pen

And them that have no eyes
Will ask why you seem so shook
And you will have to explain yourself
To a dog shown a card trick look.

You always have more time
Than you think you do
Till you don't

You always eat more pies
When your wife's away
And critique the mirror for your thoughts
Don't ever lose the urge
To let things slip away
It's one of the things that makes up for your faults
You know it does you no good
To keep **** locked away
See it oozing
Through the cracks in the vault

And the wind needs something
To pull upon if it's Going to make
Something rip
So before you have
A big swig o that milk
It's wise to have
A precautionary sniff

Now you don't look
Anything but doomed to me
With so little time left
Here on this earth
Still you have seen
All  your eyes
care to see
Your ways and words
Have shown
The world your worth

And the only time
That I saw Jimmy cry
Was
The night Barney Conroy died.

It's not Tuesday
I hear you say
I believe that
Does matter anyway
Good lord
The facts are not real
So get ready for incredible speed
I say things that you cannot believe
But get ready
For stuff
That
Makes you
Feel
Real.

Let us walk upon the earth
Feel the sod twixst the toes girth
The universe shrunk to human level
That kind  o thing
Can make you feel terrible
But that's the exercise
From max to mini
What it is huge
Without me
Is scant
Withinme.

Every year about this time
We head to Dorset
For tunes and wine
And deep fried squid
From thyme and tide
Next to roast chicken
Side by side

At  le grand bouffe
Heartburn won't subside
With rising bile you are supplied
No pieminster on this site
The pie and chips is sold by Sykes
Smoking buns the burger gaffe
Will do you breakfast if you ask
And at Tibetan kitchen
The hungry crowd grows thick
Ask him to save me
A Yeti's ****.

Ah don't be like that
Come on now
You know I didn't mean it like that
Good lord I don't know
How you can conflate
The things that I said
To your message o hate
But then again
I twist round in the wind
Shove me enough pressure
And my views I will l rescind
I missed the screen
What did they just tell me to say?
It don't matter
It'll change tomorrow
Why hey hey.

The titles o two very similar books
Concerning  previous and subsequent looks
The founding of places,laboratories really
Trying to figure the graft that might nearly
Make life a thing you painfully get through
Instead of infection,agony and death
Slow suffocation
They couldn't **** down their neck

A man named Gillies raised his hand
Said I've got an idea you may not understand
Though it seems like hubris so far unheard of
And I think I can lessen
The pain of these heroes
If I cut flesh and ribs from below
And transplant to the visage
Cross fingers,let grow
Hope for untainted stitchage
Then repeat the move again and again
We might drag a few o these poor souls
Out o Hell

The Germans and Yanks
Of course tried their own stuff
But the definitive work was done down in Sidcup
There's remarkable pictures
In the above mentioned tomes
Of a type o recovery
Of faces so torn
And shredded
And crushed
And left in the mud
A testament to
Those who lost more than blood

So when you see the faces of the foolish and vain
Know the source their reform
Was enlisted men's pain.

I had a lot of time to think
But I didn't do much thinking
There wasn't much to drink
But I did a lot o drinking.

It's my birthday today,pour me a scotch.
No,pour yourself a scotch.
No,let me pour you a scotch.
No,it's my birthday today,pour me a scotch.

What's that thig that you Yanks do?
From the civil war to World War Two
From Getsyburg to the sea o tranquility
That haunting sound gets driven into me
Through the smoke and swathed in reverb
The nations emotions
Sonically preserved
Uniquely you
You ******* own it
That old evocative
American trumpet.

Early
Mid
Late
Never.

When the cab swerves
Between Judaism and Romanesque
That turn is on top
It could deffo get you wrecked

Just past the Rialto
If your cabbie ain't sharp enough
It could all go castrallto
***** ground into dust


But thank Christ that don't occur that much
You get home safe most days
The oversteer compensated
He straightens up For the front page
That could have happened
The day after the next
About some seatbelt deniers
Who ended up in a hedge
The latest o the dyers.

Tilly licks her lips,when the vinegar hits the chips.
Don't you know? Now,
she does back flips.
She'll walk by your side
If you have some scampi fries
or perchance , a Cheesey moment,
when it comes to food
She'll brook no opponent,
Were I to die
She'd eat my components.

It's all on her terms,
She don't need you or no one else,
She has herself,
But what's that in your hand?
Could it be something she might understand
To be human food?
Always in that mood,
She will not be misconstrued.

Love is the waiting room
They give you something to do
You don't have to complete it though
That onus is on you

Love's the chastisement
They give you a talking-to
Demand you mull
And weigh yourself
Well BOO HOO HOO HOO

Change your name
And I'll give you the world
Relax your neck
And let Rewards unfurl
It's just a name
Don't be so absurd
But david he said no.

We've built our church on the ruins of yours
It's always been that way of course
Sumarian Egyptian Hittite Inca
Reappropriation was what they were into
And rightly so
Can't waste that foundation
Took some of it with them
As they altered their nations
Through horror and peace
Some stone gets chipped off
The passage of time
Grinds down and smoothes rock
To a differing shape
Somethings lost
Somethings gained
But there's never been history
Without shouting and pain
So we'll build our church
on the ruins of theirs
Again and again through the
Cycling years.

I'd know you in the dark
Because I've known you for so long
I know your form and breath my love
Yes I'd know you in the dark

Buy land said the man
For god's not making anymore
Well what about volcanos you *****?
What of the Galapogos?

Run to the hills
Step off of that grid
Jump from this pan my friend
Before they bring down the lid

I've seen you through the dark
Through gloomy prom and park
But I've seen you burst through that murk
And start singing like a lark
Singing like the lark
The sweet silver song of the lark
In a golden sky
Could you hold your head up high?

When you in a hole
Stop diggin
I've heard a lot of late
Made me think
What if I didn't?
Shovel through
The earths great plate
Where would I end up?
Which is the antipode I seek?
Once I've dug around core
When my journey is complete

I would surface in New Zealand
Well... the South Pacific sea
The nearest town is Papatowai
Its population just forty
I could talk to the ghosts
Of Moa
Tell em of the Liver birds at play
We could watch the world's
Last sunset
As the ocean drains away.

I grew up round the corner
From where Clive Barker was born
Though he's twenty years older
That was where we called home
He described the neighbourhood
In the first chapters o Weaveworld
I viddied it well
I could follow the lead role
Could see the portal to hell
It's quite a feeling
It's quite the trip
To see a bestseller
In the streets which you skip
Once you learn you live parallel
To the abyss

That's hard to shake.
As the midnight meat trains
Rattle the back gates