she hid the purple light
that followed her down the hill
somewhere down the line
she forgot it could ****
if only be withdrawn
and a kingdom falls to grounds
now single threads of gold can turn the fates all around

my youth is still me
not just something to live through
and I‘m wasting it all
trynna go somewhere I can’t go
someplace that exists
solely in my head
but thank god I never left
I’d have never gone back

I‘m sorry my light painted you in colors you didn‘t know you had in yourself
I‘m sorry I opened you up for new scents you never knew you could smell
I‘m sorry life was easier before you held my hand
But why did you have to curse me?
it wasn’t me who sent you to hell

I don‘t know what to say
I‘ve already thanked you for loving me so much
Although I wished you‘d love me less
I never asked for all of your heart
I‘m very grateful that you worry about me
but I‘m afraid you‘re wasting all your time
I‘m tired and I‘m worn out
and it‘s scary because I used to be so bright
I can see that this is worsening
You tell me everyday
I‘m sorry that I‘m hurting you
But you‘re hurting anyway

you might go a few miles
but you won’t go far
it creeps up and haunts you
even though you came so far
when you‘re flying out of space
and overcome time
it will still come and find you
to destroy the light
you don’t know why it happens
so you just try to hide
but it will catch up
and **** you this time.

The goodbyes never came with big marching bands or fireworks
they were quiet and lonely
they felt permanent, endless
and the most painful thing about it was that no one around me felt it
the birds were still chirping, the cities as crowded as always
my apartment looked just the same
when after all, everything had changed

Jeder Blick in die Ferne gab mir ein Stück von dir zurück
die Luft so hoch oben fühlte sich anders an
und die Unendlichkeit im Horizont schien das Nächste zu sein, wie ich jeweils wieder zu dir sein könnte
doch ich konnte die Vögel nicht mehr ertragen,
den Wind in meinen Haaren und alles, was die Natur mir zur Schau stellte
nicht wenn sie mir das Einzige, was ich jemals mehr liebte als sie, nahm
nicht wenn sie mich dazu verdammte, jeden moment nach dem zu suchen, was nie wieder gefunden werden konnte
und trotzdem konnte ich nicht wegschauen
sie entriss mir jede Hoffnung wieder und wieder,
doch war sie auch die Einzige, die sie mir zurückgeben konnte,
wenn auch nur für einen Wimpernschlag
es war, als vergiftete ich mich selber Stück für Stück
aber es war wunderschön