so many questions twisted up inside of my head as I find myself laying awake staring at the ceiling from my bed lately I have had nothing but feelings of dread lately all I have been seeing is red I feel like I'm hanging on only by a thread I **** sure cannot forget that I am standing alone right here on the edge If I fall arms outstretched...
As free as this Do you think that could actually fly, flying, soaring freely though the sky above all the clouds way up high. The view would be so amazing. Oh my. Thinking about all the time that has passed me by, About the questions and I have and the reasons why. Could I reclaim every tear from up here that I did ever cry? Why have all my plans went awry? Why can't I tell my loved ones who have passed good bye? If all my wrongs I could just somehow justify. I would finally be as free as this **** butterfly. Oh what and intense feeling to Electrify. To all those I love standing nearby, I cannot come down, I cannot comply. Hereon out consider me just a firefly that life finally did satisfy. Every I should remain dry for I did not die. I just took to the sky.

As of late there's just been so much going on
Everything seems to just keep going wrong
oh it was such hell the pain I've undergone
I'm standing here just trying to hold strong
Just barely creeping in right under the dawn
I've **** sure been a bit more than headstrong
I am cursed my whole life, my whole lifelong  
Always searching for some place to belong
All these **** tales of such woebegone
My suffering it keeps trying to prolong.
It's about time that I get ******* gone
you'll find me out chasing a unicorn
blown around by the winds in a thunderstorm
An tragedy that's just waiting to transform

Regret blowing to the sky like smoke from my cigarette
I try really hard not to let myself get so upset
over things that haven't even happened yet.
I'm never been someone that you'll easily forget
I've been chasing my own **** silhouette
Right off into the most beautiful sunset
I just want to find a way to completely disconnect
just long enough for me to ******* reset
to me it sounds like a reasonable request
Leave it to me to be a lost space cadet
I never claimed to be anywhere near perfect
with all due respect, I'm  just a subject that's been depressed
stuck deep inside that dangerous addict mindset
I have a tendency to become a tab bit obsessed
with all of these dark thoughts that I collect
Spinning and twirling around like I've been possessed
in retrospect Its probably not my spirit you should resurrect  
The few precious hours that I actually slept were so **** blessed
that with all my strength, on my shoulders , the weight of the world I attempt to heft
So with the very last breath my body has left
out into the darkness I have slowly stepped
All my emotions are unregulated and unchecked
praying to the Lord, crying out his name as I wept .

Enter now the shadows that I've seen lurk from within the sinister dark
Where in silence I stab myself with bits and pieces of my jagged broken heart
Some remark In that regard when these memories begin to bombard every Hallmark becoming a graveyard Guilty I am just as I have been charged. Sharp tongue and a soul that's already charred so many wounds that have scarred sullied a good name completely marred. Glass broken rains down like every other shard. Of course this terrible news is hard to disregard. It's hell out here on the boulevard. A real lionheart that had to disembark from the trailer park. another question mark to outsmart,

The moral of the story isn't quite up to code
you see In was taught from a very young age to lock and load. Into the very pits of hell I have rode
Oh the stories I have told, the treasures that I hold
Could I ever dare to be a character that is so bold
If no questions are asked no lies will be sold. In overload from secrets innermost overdosed on  every uncontrolled episode now somehow juxtapose.

Perfection it cannot be rushed. Shh listen not to the voices of the hushed. Though I'm an addict I am finding it hard to adjust. Underneath  the weight of this pending doom I am being crushed. No wonder I can't go a day without getting buzzed. My good intentions smudged. It ***** when without merit your judged. feelings quite stuffed and deep everything has been shoved. Crippled and just as corrupt ****** if I do And If I don't I am ******.  For those memories I have clutched I have been fortunate enough to have been truly touched. Yet still it is not just for to look down in disgust far be it for me to erupt burning everything down like ashes to dust, with death I have brushed left is there not one I can trust flames burning inside hot enough I might spontaneously  combust. The Villians now  have thoroughly been cussed the criminals have been all but cuffed and I am back to a fool self drugged. Shunned an Idiot snubbed From my past the mistakes I have scrubbed and scrubbed. Thousands unplugged, somewhat abrupt, out in the open stuck Like a sitting duck. spitting out these huge chunks of broken luck, while I reek havoc and run amuck. Standing out in the thunderstorm preparing to be thunderstruck

Callused hands and tales of such woebegone
all animated like a cartoon that's just been drawn  The suffering the sweet suffering I seem to prolong headstrong demon's spawn so far left I can't get right I guess that keeps me in the wrong forcing myself to fit in the places that I know I don't belong. I am trying to keep moving on, trying to stay forever strong but at this impasse I've stood way too long. From dusk to dawn brains over brawn my intelligence is no supernatural phenomenon ******* did anyone else see that leprechaun Always greener when it is someone else's lawn I am long gone An ugly duckling turned  into a lonely swan with the musings of a madman I rattle on A marathon from which power has been overdrawn **** all the ******* that is hereupon who cares about all the goings on from days of those bygone colored pink with my favorite crayon  
46:10 my favorite psalm  now c'mon stay calm an epic icon, disarm without setting off the alarm do no harm safe and warm Riders on the storm Every second another one is born

delete.
Why is this the history I am doomed to repeat?
Back in the shadow of this cloud, I retreat.
Perhaps its time to render myself obsolete.

I've fallen so far from saving grace That I don't know if I'll ever be able to save face.
Am I really just a head case a waste of space
Lost here in such a God forsaken place.
Here bodies have been known to disappear without a single trace
For this devastating impact myself, I brace
Fleeing from my demons that have recently began to give chase
until caught in their clutches, where I smoother in evil's embrace.

Wont you tell  me what you  think am I good or am I bad? I haven't decided. Out of me and my sister I am easily the nicest. What I should do next I haven't the slightest. I don't know rhe flames in my hell suddenly ignited. The voices inside my head have gone completely quiet.
I am alone in the room so in the room I am the highest. I couldn't resist. To be honest this is how In continue to exsit. It could have happened so swift. Still I ran the risk of my gears getting switched and me getting flipped on my shift. I am pretty humble and rather modest. Sometimes when I'm alone in the darkness to maintain for me is the hardest. On myself I have always been the harshest.I am still Silver but these days I am completely tarnished. This chronic  am smoking now is the strongest.I am truly astonished. HIgh as hell I am feeling quite demolished.Just being honest. I tried my very best  to do just as I had promised. NO fits have I pitched.. INamn feeling pretty **** accomplished.  I ventured out of my crypt. Armed only  with a pen and my wit. Must I remind you that simply I do not give a ****. I have no problems I admit that I am in fact lit As a matter of fact Im in orbit. In my favorite ship I took a little trip. Now here in private I sit.being quiet out of habit ******. I didn't permit anyone to hear my lighter click.Nor did anyone see the sparks I did emit. Even the skealtons in my closet are quick. Inside my head my thoughts are sick, The smoke in this room is rather thick. No one seems to really know what makes me tick. For sure I won't put up witj a bunch of *******. I'll take every hit that I can get. You can even come and visit When you are at your fullest. Trying your best to be so slick. Steadily just bumping that lip like you're desperate. Who needs a gun? At you I'll throw a bullet. To miss you I still wouldn't be equipped. I am explicit. I can't help it I spend a lot of  time getting twisted

It may seem like today we have all fallen victims to a powerful curse or perhaps something so much worse. There are a lot of people in this sick sad world that just demented as they are perverse. They wonder freely though this entire universe. This has been channel nine news  You have heard it here first. Now form our sponsors these words. Gateraide Go on Quench your thirst

As one of the most horrific and grizzly ****** scenes seen here in the last 30 years so begins to unfold The viewers are simply captivated completely infatuated. The murders they say were without a doubt pre mediated. The perpetrators we said to not even have hestattied Possible motives now are being heavily debated. For now all these theories are just speculated. It was said all of this began with already dire situations escalated. Now the school steller legacy has been descraited. Causing a wide spread panic leaving bare raw emotions running rampant unchecked and unregulated. Putting much duress in the over dressed and under educated that were said to have participated. This heinous crime seems so complex and complicated. Now matter how ******* the details the detectives concentrated they still merely looked constipated. To turn your back on the people could leave you devastated. Just another murders that needs to be investigated
The defendants were said to all their lives self medicated. An obvious fact from being seen as if they were half *** sedated or intoxicated. From going out attempting to get themselves faded. Such a vicious brutality they have demonstrated. Due to the amount of over whelming evidence against them they were implicated., incriminated.and finally incarcerated. It just goes to show you even the most enibreated shouldn't be under estimated. This has been channel Nine saying Love thy neighbor especially those you at one hated. Channel nine news  unexaggerated.
We now return you to your regular schedule programming already in progress.
As the Dope Burns
To whomever it concerns. What's alarming is the rate of return for such a substance that makes your stomach churn. This is something that you definitely seem to yern.  It's almost like us addicts never seem to learn like anyone else we roll a joint and we may even rock a bowl for sure turning up that Rick and roll.i just trying to fill this hole inside of my very soul.I grow colder and more corrupt the older I grow. So welcome all to the **** show. Where the dope burns slow. Embers all a.glow solvents colorful as a rainbow as the toxic fumes start to fill the room. I feel like I'm being crushed underneath the weight of this pending doom. I feel perhaps the end mpsy be coming soon. At least I assume that leaves me red assed like a **** baboon. Higher than a **** ballin. Animated I'm all drawn out like a **** cartoon. Silvered underneath the neon moon Eyes bigger than dinner plates at nine in the afternoon. Normal activities to resume. As once again. The flames in my hell consume Get ready for the masquerade go and put on your costume. Dance as if you're stark raving mad laughing like a loon a definite ****** toon I should have notified my next of kin that I was headed straight to the ****** bin, but once I got there those ******* wouldn't let me in. So I was then released to reek havoc and run amuck once again. I'm not you're foe but I am a fiend my friend. I went out searching for a means to an end and found nothing but whispers in the wind a big yellow submarine we could all live in. Insanity it seems to again. Coming up next is Rin Tin Tin followed by Lassie a classic Timmy in a well. He must have gotten dizzy turning in full circles on the carasoul when into the well he had fell. oh well is that  Fairy's tale that's demented not just swell A character I am in this demented as hell. Why couldn't I just be saved by the sounds of the tubular bell. Ask me no questions and no lies will I sell  a fond fare the well I bid to thee. I lam being the only person I know how to be I am just me. Form me I cannot seem. Yo save myself can you not see or maybe it's I that will save me after all I am sick of failing from dark tragic sky. where I chase smoke clouds and spirits even though I don't know why. I. The stratosphere I  continue to fly high. No tears falling from. Either eye. An epic fail to no avail I truly did try
One day I will meet up with my cousin Billy Wayne as a he patiently awaits for me on the other side Perched  on the pride which is his ride. He's my die or ride that  with the power glide we'll slide right on though to the other side. Where catastrophes and chaos seem to collide, where good and evil seek to coincidence. I traveled on without that he guide. Proving myself to be completely fried. The real me is buried down deep somewhere inside. Like the monsters inside of me I also hide..

Its halt and catch fire
get up, get tangled up in barbed wire.
Just as I was going to get ready  for the evening to retire.
Situations escalate until they are dire.  
Go ahead throw kerosene over everything and let it catch fire.
The flames growing higher
until its a bonfire  
hotter than a funeral Pryor.
The mere word's I write to me they do not inspire
but they defiantly tire.  
As high as they kites get I am so much higher.
If someone told you I was coming down they are a **** liar.

This chaos that constantly seems to ******* transpire
No wonder this self medication I tell myself I require
Sweet ******* release pretty much my only desire
The voice inside of my mind is nothing but a liar.
I
As the demons lurk in the shadows and nefarious monster conspire
I am spinning just spinning like a ******* spin dryer
I have gotten myself into such a fantastic quagmire
That if  I were to take my aim I would probably misfire
A catastrophe and calamity ******* chaotic supplier
Of time and space I am simply a waste an occupier
Questioning minds they do so often seem to inquire
About all the pain and suffering I did somehow easily acquire

Not so much weighing on my mind but all of it heavy on my heart. My words barely Audible for my throat's so parched
Yet right through the Flames of my own Hell I slowly marched
As random on lookers just quietly to themselves they remarked
Some intentionally trying to stage a great *******  upstart
As lonely on this journey I myself am about to embark
Hidden away the the blackness of this soul ******* dark
Feeling as if at the very seems I am coming completely apart.
Heading towards the brightest parts of Hell in a hand cart
A beautifully broken disaster yet still a ******* work of art
Trying ultimate my night with fingertips that just don't spark
In general really at least for the ******* most part
Not feeling in the least bit confident, or even ******* smart
My own **** Demise I am feeling as if I did somehow jump start
I hope that joint you are not planning  to just ******* bogart
Please if you loved me at all get me ****** before I depart

A journey of such drastic ******* measures
Has me digging up all my cherished treasures
As hard pressing the very pressures
Put on me by the grievous endeavors
Leaving only those I consider my aggressors
To wallow in their own **** self pleasures
I am here attempting to burn out my own receptors
Truly it is a rather one of  those remarkable kind of gestures
As to Ashes I reduce all these unnecessarily kept records
I need no scythe to frighten off all these Spectors
Shaded by all these unseen ******* reflectors
So before I end property of some ******* collector
I'll seem out my very own salvation my own protector
That is in an entirely different world another sector,
Pretending all the while to be the courts best jester
Someone who let's the sorrows ******* fester.
Yet will never admit that they are indeed the lesser
A self doubling complete second guessed
That has been smashed underneath every stressor.
Now blowing in the breeze light as a feather
I am gone not just for now but for ******* ever.