Baby blue skin.
I see you in my dreams.
I reach for you when you cry.
Baby blue skin.
Your last breath.
Stolen by fate, not by time.
Your hands so small.
Baby blue skin.
So cold, so very cold.
Sharp and rigid, now a faint echo in my chest.
Baby blue, nothing but a memory now.

The bitter sweet tinge of a forbidden fruit I have yet to taste.
The longing.
The aching.
For something to awaken me.
So blurred between the lines of the mundane.
I reach and strain my muscles for a drop.
Just a drop.
Stain my lips.
With your sweet milk.
Trace my curves with your ferocious, hungry eyes.
Part the pages of my deepest desires,
As I toss and turn in ecstacy.
The melody of pleasure slips and escapes from my rose colored lips.
I’ve finally taken a bite,
And I’m more hungry than I’ve ever been.
My lips so raw, so wet with passion.
Gasping for air as you take my body, and make it your own.
We’ve become one.
Between these satin sheets.
My nails leave marks of desperation down the tensed curvature of your back.
Asking.
No, begging for more.
I cant get enough.
My pale skin blushed with a faint hue of crimson, as I call out for you.
Gripping the sheets until my knuckles are nothing but white.
I’ve reached the top, and I’m about to fall.
I wrap my legs around you.
Shaking and quivering, as you fall with me.
I breathe your sweet scent in, one last time.
As we make our soft landing.

Within *** I run.
Pleasure masking pain.
Make me whole.
Getting high off your body.
Dizzy and thirsty.
I cry when you finish.
I cry when you leave.
You don’t understand.
You’re only a man.
I hate myself.
I hate you.
No, I love you.

Mother.
Where do I lie amongst your lies?
Where does my existence reside?
Between the laters or tomorrows?
Or your depression days and sorrows?
For my presence is only craved when you’re
Perishing.
You’re not here you never were.
Me being there for you, is what most often happens to occur.
Have you drained me dry yet?
Have you decided to come back for more?
You promised you’d be there.
You swore.
I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.
What else I can endure.
For your love is a double edged sword, wedged in my chest.
Leaving my heart achy and sore.
Your push and pull.
Your maybes and maybe nots.
Hold strong.
While my will and hope.
Slowly rots.

I lit the pipe and inhaled.
For the very first time, I was high.
High as a *******.
I leaned back, my body melting into the back seat of her jeep.
She was older than me, a lot older.
She was funny, experienced but not too experienced.
God her hair was so long and wavy it made me dizzy, she made me dizzy.
She smelled like cigarettes and vanilla, sang like a bird.
****, I wanted to kiss her.
She was so funny it made my stomach hurt, and made my mouth want ice cream.
All I was to her was a friend, maybe someone she got high with outta pity.
Someone too young.
To me, she was so much more.
An awakening, an ache.
My first girl crush.