Shall I not then collect words,
to paint colorful sketches of you,
to capture the moments we cannot otherwise retain
through scenes posing life and death?

Brushstroke of words,
sketches and etched memories in vibrant hues
Moments are thereby suspended
in the delicate balance of existence.

For in these words
and sketches, we reside.
Life's vibrant colors on the canvas of time,
In the contiguity of fleeting moments,
I find the art of holding you close.

She does not write poems
that rhyme with her seeping heart
anymore
glittering hymns had long been lost behind valleys impermable
posing questions of loneliness, heartlessness and darkness
caged souls
and sealed memories
are left behind
as unspoken means of hopes
oh nymhs of woes
outbursts of hurts
neglected says and nays
a menacing drowsiness of wordlessness betrayed  souls leaving deep holes

Then came the waves to carry her
to the best of everything.
Waters were glittering as she gazed,
she’d long longed for serene
tranquility.
The circular rhythms of the waves
housed various lives,
each starting and ending a span,
endlessly, one after another.
She thus traveled along to better lives.

Flagging the truths with words of woes
How could known facts be stabbingly bitter?
Heartbreakingly beautiful love stories flow into rivers and drown
lured by the glittering waters at first deepening all of a sudden at a point where there is no return  
I plunge
I can no longer go back
I cannot envision a world without you
as I plummet I look for your hand in blurring visons
How could this be any different than it is now?
I think about this a lot and  fantasize ways of keeping us alive
One day I am deep down touching the ground next day I simply float in nothingness.
A breathless  brutality captures me when I am down
I frown and drown accepting the depth
Anger helps me to breathe finally
Bubbling gasps become my words
I am in high altitudes deep down
as I suffer in my dyspnea

It was all about love
There simply is nothing to wait for now
Oh the kids…I know
They will find their way
I am the one who got stuck in the labyrinth
Fridays used to be fun
Saturdays even more
Mondays with you were all awesome too
Right now nothing matters
It is just a meaningless chain of days
Mondays and Sundays
They are all the same
Equally worthless
There is nothing I look forward to
It was all about love
It is all over
And it is just my body
That has been
Misplaced
trying to survive in this pain
It was all about love
...Life
We always had thanks and okays
We thanked even for tiny, little things
But for love the most
And we had our okays for the things unfavorable
As long as we were together
It was all okay
It was all about love though
It was about love
We sometimes went to the farmer’s bazaar
The bazaar turned into a carnival
When you looked into my eyes
the oranges looked more fresh and fragrant
Pleasant and sweet was life with you
I look for you behind the shelves of the supermarket
I hope that you show up and hug me again like you did between the pasta, spaghetti, noodle and macaroni shelf and the sauces
But you are not there
When we were in the car your right hand was always mine holding my left hand
Our hands were warm and cold but always together
Sometimes
You just needed your hand to fix the music
Always the songs that I loved
A constant private party that you held
A regular Friday night fever throughout the week
You quickly tuned the music and came back
Or sometimes you needed your hand to hold the steering wheel in case
But you always rushed to come back to find my hand
It was all about love
Do you remember the pigeons which ruined our ledges and window sills?
We had spike strips to keep them away
And even a silhouette of a hawk
Nothing worked
And you made me laugh
so hard that I hardly stopped myself *** in my knickers when you talked to the pigeons to convince them to leave
It was okay
Everything was okay
we ended up building a warm nest for them and fed them everyday
It was all about love
It was love
You were always there
in all the thanks and okays
It was all about love

oh would someday the buds turn into leaves
and carry the way I feel into shoots
flowering worries in the dead ends of rotten roots
oh would somehow the soils soothe my soul
when no longer blood buds out
my vessels

There goes the breathless labyrinth of my heart
I got lost a million times to wake up from deadly nightmares
Detours and dead ends
Meaningless paths lightened by dark lights
A maze of little thoughts
coils of hope
All nodes of you