Not that I don"t remember
how you stood in the hallway
and looked at me from away
filling my heart with an amber
like yellowness of sorrow
until that day we’d always been daisy like
in a naturally popped up joy
unexpectedly there like daisies
through many different colors
shining easily in all seasons
truly sunny and funny
and  all cheerful
innocent and pure
Soothing, relaxing and healing
We were playful  “love me or not”daisies
When all were plucked, it was aways a “loves me”
That day when you stood there
everything turned amber
beautiful but cold
Enticing but distant
Graceful but still
like fossilized trees

words are the worst
like life a blank bracket
you think you plan
when walking the plank
love is the worst hurt
like a-life an alluring alief

Cautious  
You should have been
When uttering words
To someone
Who utterly loves words

When marching with the whole lot
I can still move along
With you
My body’s rhythm is always the same with yours
We inhale and exhale at the same time when we walk the same steps
We march along together
My feeble ant steps are strong when I follow you
love keeps us together
When marching with the whole lot
It feels like there simply is nothing and no-one  around it is just you
It feels like you have always been there in all the stages of my life
It is like my egg cracked and the first thing  I saw in the whole of my life was your beautiful black eyes
My little egg life like the size of a period at the end of a sentence became a whole full sentence of its own when you first held me and showed me the way
We traveled all day with the whole lot
But it was just you
Starting with the lights of the new day
I always knew where I was heading towards as long as I had you
And every night we built a nest together
Nights were my favorite
I put my head on your chest and looked up to your beautiful black eyes
I knew that I was not the queen
I was not yellow or red in color
But you always treated me as one
Making your body a nest for me
Through my blurry ant vision
You were always clear and bright
It all started when you gave me an ench-anting smile as we paved along on that fine morning

the orange peel jam freshly reminds me of the times
you hover around brightly in my heart
scraps of memory
all sharp and tangy flavored
memories
though very sweet there is always a bit of bitterness in all
so potent
piquant
and poignant
puncturing the heart

We just sat there silently
and sipped coffee
without knowing that
you would leave around this time next year
hummingbirds would sip the most delicious nectars from the flowers
                            and hover, fly and glide in all directions
to pollinate life elsewhere
                                                                    and I would be left without you

Knowingness
it is "the not knowing" that is the worst
shrewd and sharp the truth should be
or else
I would not be ignorant, illiterate, and ill-informed about
where you have gone feeling heedlessly
lost in this hazy knowing-less
veiling the known