a million words at my fingertips
a million miles from your lips
you moved to where my mother is from

my heart slams sometimes
when you're out of my mind
then I see someone in your same car

I dream, not of you
but of feverish obsession

dazzling, electric
your 11 oclock
meeting a thousand
feet off the ground

cotton candy pink
melted on your tongues
guitars singing
for you the world

for me a basement
the boyfriend upstairs
for me a glimpse
a kiss that you forgot

Looking out a ***** window
The worlds got a funny little tint
Looking over I can hear your smile
And then I wonder what you have to smile about
I flatter myself and believe that maybe you were smiling because of me
Like maybe I could make you forget


No matter what I do , it’s all temporary
You go back to your dad and like he’s another drug you can’t quit
And turn your stomach to blue grey water
it’s a ***** river that I try to clean , but it insists on staying this way

And oh how beautiful you are
With the sun on your skin , like she loves only you
I can hardly blame her , I feel that way too
And oh how tragic you are
You were doomed from the start , never had a chance
And carrying the weight of it all, you keep going


I hate you for the way you treat yourself
And I love you more than you know
If only I were enough to make it all go away

I think I’m in love with you
Which makes it all harder to watch you disintegrate, killing yourself slowly

I wish I was beautiful
Not because I care what the world thinks
Not because I want to be loved by all
But simply so that I could look at you
And feel that I deserve the sensation of your glowing green eyes
And feel that I am worthy of your beautiful smile

Another night of hearing the heartbeat of the house

The thudding and pounding and echoing the floors make when she screams

For a moment , I don’t care

I stare blankly ahead and tell myself it doesn’t matter because it’s not even happening

And then it hits, and like a flood, knocks the breath out of me

The trees are blooming early again
And the air smells like you
It smells like picnics and sunshine
When life was exciting and new
We laid in the grass and you smiled
I blink
Now clouds of smoke escape your lips
Now you are small and fragile
Now your in a quicksand slipping away from me
Your bottles are shiny and i know they look nice when the night is young
Till it's January 1st and you're in a hospital
Wondering what went wrong

you painted my world and made it so bright
But the thunder comes eventually

And even your pretty colors can’t keep away
The darkness, the lightning, the hurt and the pain

you were sidewalk chalk , and I was child
With hope and sun in my heart

But my tears washed it all away in an instant
Why did you break me apart

I used to see roses and chocolate cake
Now there is blood red and black in its place

The pinks and the blues all run together and after a moment it’s like the chalk Was never there at all