I lost my voice
Moonnights ago
Whispering all day
Of your name...
Sleep couldn't hold me
Coz i was a threat
Now is silent
My light is deam
Momma, you're light
And shiny shall it be

Why are you this way?
Why won't you let me in?
Why is your boundary so high?
The people will say.

Why are you so guarded?
So preserved in a way that threatens people,
Why are you choosey
Why? Why? Why?

You get used to it!
The lie, the hurt, the betrayal,
The people closer to you abandoning you and not coming back
You get used to it.

The people rolling their eyes
when you talk about things that hurt you
The grief, the pain
You get used it.

And thats when they'll start asking you,
All sorts of questions, The 'Whys'
They get surprised, when you just say, Life
Life made me this way
And there's no going back
You get used to it.

It took me a long time to realize, that not everything we seek is meant to be our beautiful story.
That, not every person we meet or feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us.
That, not everyone we create a home with is meant to last long with us.

I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for being too much
I'm sorry for caring too much, loving you with a heart too wide that no one else could.
For putting up with you even when showed me I meant nothing,
I stayed. I still stayed.

I'm sorry for needing more than you could provide
For the intensity, for the words that spill over uncontrolled
For the emotions that soar like kites
I'm sorry for the spaces I tried to feel in, for the constant checkins
For the dreams I built, for the plans that grew way too fast, I'm sorry.

I choose to love you in silence because loving in silence there is no rejection
For you've made me harder to love
I'm often overthinking, fighting endless battles in my mind,
And I...I be the judge of my mind too
So I'll end up forgiving...and forgiving...and forgiving too much

Because I've never been your first and only choice
Never been enough for you
I think I'll be better off without anyone
And that way I'll put my SMILE BACK AGAIN.

Baby...I miss you...
I miss the voice when you wake up...
I miss that early voice that catches my smile while...
Others catch the warmth...
I miss that morning smile served in a hot plate... By the bed...they say...
They say that love.....love is blind and that the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but no....
No...my love I can see...I can see clearly, I'm not blind but you can call me Arsenal coz... I've fallen for you

Call me man-city... Oh...I mean wo-man of the city coz I... I carry the title... I carry the title bold for you....

So baby...you can nickname me man-united...I mean... Wo-man united coz i talk too much....coz I'm crazy and I love making noises for you....only for you to notice me.

And baby... I tend to take everything with me...But I leave my heart for you... Oh...I mean... I liv-a-pool of heartfelt affection for you my lovely one.....I live-r-pool for you 'coz even if I conquer, I tend to retaliate in your presence love.

But yes, you can do it...you're allowed to press CTRL+Z...forget everything, but remember...when you're ready...press CTRL+A, CTRL+C from me and like my best friend Chel...see you have started judging me...before I finish her beautiful name... SEA.

I always stare at my body imprinted into the mirror
The way my  **s flattens and my chest correspond a like two old friends who are never apart at heart. See, I have been struggling dealing with the girl staring back at me, wondering if I see what everyone else sees. But I just cant help but wish to look better than her.  Call me a loser I don't care, but I just cant figure out why food tastes like trash , every meal draws me away like a mad dog. I feel most beautiful, take the sexiest pictures when I'm alone in the room but loose the confidence in the sight of everyone else.  So I stuff my mouth with the most promising words, " I'll be beautiful one day" Dreams that will never exist. Insecurities

I always stare at my body imprinted into the mirror
The way my  **s flattens and my chest correspond a like two old friends who are never apart at heart. See, I have been struggling dealing with the girl staring back at me, wondering if I see what everyone else sees. But I just cant help but wish to look better than her.  Call me a loser I don't care, but I just cant figure out why food tastes like trash , every meal draws me away like a mad dog. I feel most beautiful, take the sexiest pictures when I'm alone in the room but loose the confidence in the sight of everyone else.  So I stuff my mouth with the most promising words, " I'll be beautiful one day" Dreams that will never exist. Insecurities

We never even dated
so it would be unwise to say so
kept my heart at high hopes
one day you'll see the worth
promised we'd be inseparable  
but it started to fade away

Quickly let me note it down
before it all disappears
In a translucent dream
like a vision, I'd see us
Flourishing together

For a moment, reading Romeo and Juliet
Got me thinking maybe they would have
Approached things differently
I would be the Juliet if you'd see the Romeo
Hidden deep in you

Screaming silently but the tongue is ripped and torn
My mind unable to think anymore
My heart in denial
But the body is still strong and pushing

Hating on you would be an option
leaving would be by choice
But I choose to stay
To revive the dead Romeo
And butter up my swollen heart