Visions of belonging held fast inside my heart
I want to be accepted for who I am my Lord
but all they see is a he she, and a shifty ****  
even in the days of old, only men wore swords
time has changed but not re-arranged their ways
yesterday appearing same, a cornucopia of straight
today we have the trans, lesbians, gays
and those serving up, fear and utter hate
I love the feel of lingerie God, so why can't I ?
my heart is red like theirs, it pumps, it hurts
I shed so many tears I've forgotten how to cry  
can you love me just like this, without revert?
Sitting on this pew I've come to realize all I do is flee
and although your son was crucified at thirty three  
I'm still here Father, .. you made me like I am  
my heart is red like theirs, I suffer when I can't be me.

A sprinkling of fairy dust early in the morning
an airy dawn arrives on the wings of an angel
music of nature flutes by with all its first bring  
I own daylight quills and Longfellow's archangel
While the rose sleeps beneath the moist earth
safely beneath the snow  waiting for rebirth
guardians of the galaxy are closing in on stars
I don't hear a sound not even the tooting of cars
Outside the breeze is slipping through the trees
as quietly as the memes of God's silent smiles
I own hopes so big they bring me to my knees
and a belief that will help me through the miles
Dance while you still can He says to my heart,  
as I hear the sound of music, ... I do my part.

TUBULAR AND JOLLY HE SAT IN THE SNOW
HIS EYES MADE OF BLACK BUTTONS AND GLOW
ENERGETICALLY MADE, BY THE HANDS OF A CHILD

"What a wonderful morning to build me a chum "
said the child as he picked, packed and put with his might
He poked in a carrot then packed it real tight  
but spoke not a word as he stood there, chalk white
He showed him two tonsils, one tongue and some teeth
all he got was a grin and a stare, " call me Pete "
Crunch, crunch went the boots, they were all in cahoot
if you hear me Chum please give a hoot !
It was an owl by far who heeded his call
white as pure snow but not quite so tall;

Rollaway days made for children at play
It was Christmas and oh, it had to be done  
inclining an ear he said, ''be a good chum ''
then he turned up grin and sang with a hum.

I saw the little green light shimmering from my window
"come join us in the forest" they  whispered my way  
"they are all asleep and it is Christmas day
come join us, on mother earth's parkay"  
said the harpist as she plucked a unicorn glowed
Two emerald wings clapping happily, a hummingbird fairy
a tiny snail and the deer, all part of the master plan
the ****** sat  on the plaid, a gift from good old Nan    
all joined to the hip with a bunny named Stan
and singing mushrooms, so light and so airy
Yes off the the forest I glided alone and quite content
as the fish with his mouth agape treaded the waters of jubilee
the glen came alive with festive sounds, a garland of poetry
I was transported into a different world to party,  
it was like celebrating with friends, beneath a magic tent.

Where do you come from little rose of blush  
you, who was never owned by anyone but me
oh singing bird of thrill how easily you shush
when conscience leaves my side I am not free
When guilt devours me whole you go in hiding
like a wounded child that often goes to play  
oh litigator of my heart I was born consigning
to life's  passions, as they happened me away
Whence forth  this solid mind I will constrain  
from thinking out of line for sake of heart
oh soul of beauty please forgive my reign
in my old age I realize, what is your part
You,  are the part of me that makes me whole  
the conscientious side of me, oh,  my soul!

December 11, 2020

Too many years spent in depression buried beneath a pile of regrets
pills of every color aside my glass, cuts of every size scabs included
Broken pieces of my heart scattered from Newfoundland to Toronto
I had forgotten the taste of content and the sound of chattering friends

They tried to help me by taking me to therapy but I cried myself to sleep
every time I spoke to him, about my childhood pain and the awful abuse
One day I decided to go visit an old chapel that kept their side door open  
this kind woman let me in and ushered me into a back pew then left

I felt a rush of panic,  all I wanted was to run but then I began to talk
the words spilled out of my heart, onto a crucifix of pewter and gold
I told him all my secret fears and all the things my mind struggled with
gazing upon that cross I suddenly realized that he'd been broken too

On a crumpled piece of paper I scratched out three words " I choose life "
then I left the chapel door open and walked out into the sun, alive...
Its not like I cured myself all at once it took time, but I finally did it
one day at a time , first I crawled, then I walked, then I saw the light

It was the year of optimum technology. Manufacturers were cranking
out musical baubles with motions detectors that rang out with music
and song jubilation, at the tip of a human wave or shuffle.
Every household sheep ran out to buy these amusing novelties.
It wasn't long before the big recall. They were deemed annoying
by the public.  "We can't talk over them.  They got a mind of their
own."  Soon they were all returned to the store.
So the distributors hired  a slewing  of personnel  to deliver all the
baubles to the forest and abandon them there in an old shack.
On Christmas day as the world slept by the silenced buzz of their cel,
one sad lumberjack braved the dawn and went out to cut a fresh tree
in the woods.  He closed the door behind him, leaving a deaf child
clutching a doll and an old ratty mouse named Nicky.
With every swing of his ax he heard a ring a ling ding, ding a ding ****.
It was coming from the old shack, and it got louder with every chop.
Ian walked into the shed and saw the most adorable baubles laying
pine coned on the floor. He carried an armload of them to his truck
His thoughts were miles away. Thinking how sad it was that his daughter
Cora could not hear anything.  She had never heard the sound of music
nor the sound of her dad's voice.  Christmas would be silent as usual but
at least she could stare at the beautiful baubles on the evergreen. He
entered his humble abode and mantled the tree with shiny  ornaments.
When Cora Ling saw the baubles on the tree her eyes opened wider
then two lanterns in the snow. "Oh" was all she said as she ducked to
retrieve his gift. It was a freshly made sandwich put together that very
morning. He gave her a big bear hug and then plucked a green box
from the middle of two branches. "Open" was all he mouthed.
Inside were two dangling silver earrings, one for each ear. "They
used to be your moms and I think she'd like you to have them.
When she ran over to give her dad a big hug, the baubles began to
vibrate and hum.  They sang out an operetta of great beauty.
Many a year had elapsed since their last Christmas interlude. They
had upgraded themselves and taught each other to sing as a team.
To Ian's surprise his little girl picked up her doll and started dancing
around the room.  Even Nicky the mouse was waving his tail to the
rhythm of the music.  "Can you hear that?" he asked his daughter .
She swirled and twirled as if she would never stop. Then she went to the
window and waved to someone or something ? With a smile that broke
the stars of heaven,  she scattered the Christmas Spirit all over the place,
then with a sweep of her beautiful eyes she said, " daddy, I can hear."
The End.