She’s finally catching on
“What did you have for breakfast?”
My dinner sitting in the fridge in cellophane.
And the dinner before that.
I’ll laugh it off
“I forgot”
My stomach shrinks at the thought.

“Meet me by the shore as the world caves in”

i could only wish that i could share your last breaths of oxygen as the world caves in. a beach, I sat dead still. The sun rises, causing water to condensate on my cheek and salt to sit on my lips.
The pulse of sirens in the distance.
In the foreground, soldiers ripple into the tides, with rifles blazing. But without you I could only hear silence. The sounds of bodies sloshing on the sand.

someone emerged from among the remains of the crusading foundations.

It was the mirror image of you, only the feeling in the deepest pit of my stomach told me you were already dead. You looked more like a succubus, dripping in water, soaked with lust. Were you abandoned? killed by your familiars ? impaled on a spear, used as sacrifice? Did your image become part of the mast that came to bury you?

When I’m around you I hear my heart beat through my shirt,
Begging to get closer to you,
Taunting you to rip it out.
I’d let you sink your fangs into my skin
And tear
The vein from my neck
Just to feel you breathe,
As you bare your teeth.

Grass stains on your clothes
Bruises scattered from head to toe
the blood seeping out of your mouth onto the chapel ground is oddly reassuring
Let me watch you bleed
It is the only way I can tell you are still here
Still human

I won’t Forget about my lover
floating down the river
Drowned in the forest
Buried in its leaves
shaking and twitching
And soaked to the bone.
I’ll see your reflection in Muddy waters,
In Swamps and withering trees -
And the rays of sunshine
Escaping past branches
Over the water and under the bridge.
Lay Still perfectly preserved in an icy reverie
still
as Hauntingly beautiful
As the first time I drowned
in your autumnal eyes.

I’m coughing up sunder from the wreck I barely made it out of
I’m bleeding from the wounds that I can’t seem to reach
I’m suffocating in bricks from the castle you built for her
But when she saw the foundations cave, you trapped me in.

Holding me in his arms like I am fragile China
A distressed glass yearning to collapse at his feet.
He cradled me anyway.

He’s so gentle with everything he touches.

And he will keep this gentleness when he is holding my beating heart in his hands

and when he rips it from my body his reassuring words will echo a pulse in my chest.

Manifest through waves,
Whisper secrets in cats ears,
Confide wishes into seashells
and water plants with your tears -
Let your worries blow out candles,
Pray for the wind, the rain and stars -
Become companions with the moon,
Hope that nature knows who we are.

I am a soldier trapped in a porcelain prison.
Foreign to the barracks that mirrors my skin
I am within my own adversary.
The trenches in the scars on my legs sit as a reminder
That I will forever be at war with myself.

Barbed wire conjured by my own mind restricts my wrists
From opening the fridge door
I have to be in control,
That’s what the voices tell me.
I can’t be without the mirror
It reminds me that my ribs are too wide
And that a number controls my life, not me.

Sometimes
If I focus on the rain,
I can hear it whisper.
I can’t make out what it’s trying to tell me,
Or if it’s for me to hear at all.
I don’t want to be rude and interrupt,
So I’ll sit at the sill and admire at a distance,
and as the aftermath of the storm leaks from the gutters,
a million secrets trickle down my window pane,
Condensate,
Then disappear.

I wish I was loved the way I love.
A love so passionate and fierce that it burns holes through my clothes.
A love so ****** that it can make kissing the salty streams on your cheeks gratifying.
A love that you arise in the morning anticipating and sleep at night dreaming of.
A love that writes you poems because the only way they can express in words how they love you is through art because to them you are art.
The type of love that makes you hold your breath to feel in control because this love is dominating.
A love that I have given so haphazardly again and again but never felt.
A love that I can’t seem to give myself.

The mirage of the wind chimes signalled my new beginning
As I clutched to the skull perched on my window sill, the only thing close to imitating the pressure of another’s touch.
The wind chimes, I could not see them
But their dance with the wind was mesmerising to me
4 am, the birds alerted it was a new day, I may have started it grasping at sorrow and fear but instead I clutched onto a shred of hope.
With desolation comes enlightenment, and with the wind always follows, a chime.

I’ll pass through you in the afterlife,
Spirits intertwined,
I may never get to meet your body,
But I’m accustomed to your mind.
Our souls have accompanied eachother a thousand years and a hundred lives,
Comfortable with the distance,
We are as dead as we are alive.
How your time is shortened,
How mine has just begun,
But waiting on this earth seems pointless
when we are not as one.
I will meet you in the next life,
Or somewhere in between,
But right now just be patient,
My twin flame across the sea.

I anticipate what happens every year,
You come and go,
my favourite season.
I need the warmth you give me during these winter months,
You need the stability of a girl with flaws.
I started to miss moments as I was living them,
Not savouring them but yearning for them to stay.
I’m really going to miss you once you leave again,
And as the leaves on the trees wither -
He leaves my body cemented to the bed where we lay.