Once I learned how to please myself
I never understood why one would need
A boy
I mean
Most girls say that they can’t get off
When they are with one
So I never understood
Why need a boy when you have your
Trusty self
But
As I’ve gotten older
I’ve realized it’s the intimacy
That can be there
The ability to relax and grant trust to another
As you lay there in the most vulnerable
Position
The ability to not expect or know the next movement
And to hold a dance between two souls
Where pleasure is the end goal
And emotional intimacy is the reward

If he can’t make me ***
During foreplay
Then I’m definitely not letting him
Inside me
And you shouldn’t either

It’s crazy to think
That we live in a world where
If you’re attractive
You must be a good boyfriend/girlfriend
If you’re attractive
And then dumped
It’s because the other person doesn’t know
A good thing when they have it
Weird
It’s as if all other characteristics
Are nonexistent
And you’re character can be based
On your attractiveness alone

If you need to brutally use your fists
Against my flesh and bones
Then the deeper meaning
Behind your actions
Is that you are incapable of communicating

The Dali Lama once said
Nonviolence
Is the reflection of internal peace within
If you beat me
Then you are incapable of using your words
There is no peace found within

It is when I see the trail that your tears
Left under your eyes
Where they've collected under your chin
And disappeared down your neck
Your eyelashes
Which have clumped together
From the emotions
Leaking outside your body
As your entire face remains stoic
Except your eyes
As you silently cry
While maintaining eye contact with me
That I know
I’ve hurt you
Beyond repair
Beyond comprehension
I’m sorry
But I won’t tell you that
Because it would be an insult
To use such shallow words
To try to heal the deep lacerations
I’ve placed on your heart and mind