I’m afraid I’ll never be the same again
I used to love affection
Random hugs and kisses
Now if anyone comes to close I flinch
I just remember your hands
And how it felt to be hit
Everything scares me now
I’m afraid to be too loud
I remember those rare moments you were kind
I now realize I was blind
Those moments gave me hope
That maybe anger wasn’t your only side
I tried to sympathize with your demons
Excuse your behavior because of your past
I used that as a reason I stayed
But I should have just walked away
You showed me your true colors
And like a fool I said in my head “I can help him love himself.”
I realize now you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves
Why
Why
I ask myself that a lot now
Why would you tell me you loved me
When it was so easy for you to lust for others
Why would you drag me along for so long
When your love for me was gone
Maybe you just liked seeing me hurt
And enjoyed dragging my heart threw the dirt
I wish you would have let me go sooner
Instead you were a user
Used up my body
Used up my heart
Used up my soul
Now nothing is left
You left me distressed
Although I guess now I’m blessed
I see you for you now
I’m no longer blinded by your false words
You told me “hurt people hurt people”
That was just an excuse
One of the many you used
To try and downplay your abuse
I know you’ll never admit to anyone you were the problem
You’ll blame me
Call me a *****
Say I got what I deserved
That’s okay with me
You can say I’m the villain
But everyone finds out the truth
You’ll never be able to hide the real you
No matter how hard you try
You can always see it in the eyes
You said I was your karma
I’m glad
I hope I made you mad
I hope it hurt
I hope I crushed whatever heart you had left in the dirt
Just like you did mine
You don’t deserve happiness
You don’t deserve kindness
You deserve your own hell on earth
Funny thing is
You’re ruining your own life
Creating your own demise
Goodbye
I hope I never see you again in this life

I'm drowning

Lost in the dark

Fighting to stay alive