Hello!!
Fortuitously- I hope- One day, somehow, somewhere she would remember me,
And text me or call me; Hello again.
I was a shattered glass, broken into pieces.
A walking dead soul,
Drowning in fathomless abyss.
Nothing would excites me.
Nothing would ignite a fire in my soul.
I was alive for a sake of saying,
waiting for my ending to unfold passively.
Only to be found by you,
Your appearance to my life was like a rope,
a beacon of hope.
I was experiencing something unexplainable, something unreal-unfound energy and excitement everyday.
I had started to see the new horizon for my life.
Most importantly your acceptance helped me to rewired my thoughts
That I wasn't crazy that I thought I was.
But it seems you fixed me temporarily only to break me again.
I am shattered again.
For you have disappeared from my life without a trail,
like the way you had come to my life.
To make it worst, without any reason or explanation.
Nowhere to be found. I have come to the terms that your introduction to my life was a divine intervention,
Only to remind be of an endless opportunities that lies ahead,
if only I were to keep my eyes and heart open.
It is hard but I think I can pull this off one more time.
I thought it was beyond the bounds of possibility to shake my lifeless soul; let alone to excite me.
But hey!!! Congrates!! you managed to do it twice.
You were mean when you did it to me for the first time.
But I was fool to be ensnared again.

They say all the sincere prayer gets answered.
if so, I pray peace for her....
And I hope, I will have a chance to answer her why I ask for it.

Done living double life,
Done executing half-hearted attempt,
Done playing safe game,
Done lying inside safety bubble,
Done scavenging through illusion and mirages.
Finally, I am awakened, I am done drifting.

Now, that I know I am not special,
I am just a common man- a mortal.
Trying to live life in present;
hoping to leave a dent in the process.

I am part of this filthy world
Laden with perfect imperfection.
I want access,
I want to witness,
I want to experience things;
Forbidden.
I want to indulge, effacing innocence
With the licentious.

No! No! No! are you getting an idea?
I am not a demon in making.
Least of all- Devil.
You are yet to see the other half of me,
Which I think you will ever see.
Or, perhaps deserve to know.
So don’t come hard at me.
You are nowhere near to judge me.
Don’t call me a savage.
I’m not.
I am just being true to myself,
a bit generous-giving exposure to my alter ego.
Don’t call me sordid- a barbarian.
For being honest, admitting thing or two-
So to say confessing.
I know, for you are no different.
For sure, no exception.
You are nothing but pretending or perhaps unaware of.
I better cherish heinous crime consciously than abstaining
Myself with moral scruple.
For I know now that abstinence will **** us unconsciously anyways.

I found peace spending time with you:
The one that was evading me for a while;
One that I had forgotten;
Finally, I discovered its existence.

Now that you have moved; thousand of miles away...
I feel what you meant to me...
I knew we two were like the banks of river..
may be close but never meant to be together...

I am thankful that you made me realize
That I can fall in love again with someone;
Enjoy someone’s company so much
That I will carrying her in my memory all the time….
I know there’s nothing serious between us:
Still why does this heart weave your dreams;
Sinking me deep inside the ocean of memory.
Now, that your thought has entrenched like a root in my mind:
now that i have trapped you inside my memory
Neither i can let you go nor cherish your company.
I tried to forget you but to no avail;
I doubt even that is possible at all.

Now that I must live like this,
Until I will find someone to replace your thought.
I wish this episode to pass much sooner….

I hope when the storm of sorrow blows,
I can have your memory to soothe my pain.
I hope when I am scared in loneliness,
I can cherish those beautiful moments we spend together.

oh cruel lord, if you can't let me be with her in my real life,
at least don't wake me up from my dreams when i am with her.