When the mind awakens, the world comes alive, But when the mind falls asleep, so does the world, So who makes the world, this star studded tapestry we see? Is it not the world crafted by our minds? The universe takes shape within our minds.
The times we are in right now seem to be unusual in certain ways. You seem to always feel as though something you really needed in life has been lost forever, no matter what you have in life.
A future conflict's battle tapestry is ready. Surprisingly, rather than depicting badly mangled bodies of fallen soldiers, it depicts the high value that people at the time placed on conquests that resulted in territory gains for the victor at the cost of large human lives.
Charging cows and a foggy head. A plunge into a stinking gutter. Unconcerned cows gently go. An ascent from hell with legs covered in filth. A return trip home, newly purchased sandals gone from stench-oozing legs, intense embarrassment, and bewildered looks from passersby. The embarrassment is just as strong today as it was back then.
Your puzzled expression at the award ceremony showed the agony you had undergone due to your mental exile from reality, while composing your poetry on occultism.