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 May 2020 King Arthur
Corra Hayre
You were moon-drunk, speaking words
only uttered under the stars
because even you yourself feared
what left your swollen tongue.
You feared yourself more than I did
and that scared you.
But it scared me more knowing
that it would happen again, knowing
that your shadow would grow darker
every night until your star-sipped liquor
turned your fear into another monster
in the night; one that this time,
I couldn't run away from.
People like you die young, she said
You don't drink, don't
do drugs, eat healthy, rarely
go out, rarely meet new girls

But you keep on writing, boy, you
keep on writing
and that's enough to outweigh
all the above

You'll see
but that handle was made for his hand
hand - handle
handle - hand

the fingers would close
around it to never let go
It had to have flesh around it
at all times
But the blade...
the blade was still naked. He couldn't let
the blade naked
It wasn't fair

"So that's why you stabbed your
mommy then?" the psychiatrist asked him.

"Yes," he said.

"The knife is more important
to you than mommy?"

"The knife listens. Mommy doesn't."
as a kid
there's nothing
like wasting away inside a tiny
room
sitting on the backrest
of the couch
looking out the window
and seeing her
tread through the rain

a red umbrella covers
her.

Mother

she's going back
to the liquor store
but you will never be alone
you promised me this
A L L
said you'd be with me from
D A Y   T I L L   N I G H T
and that you would hold me tight
but your words were always
L I E S
cause baby im still here
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