You
Were the human embodiment
Of all my fears:
The manifestation
Of all my monsters.
Yet,
If you came knocking
I’d open the closet-
Pull up the bedcovers-
Turn back to the dark mirror-
And invite you back in.

Neurons knit
I wake
a bit
sluggishly

slothlike to the kitchen
eyes twitching
kettle whistling.
too noisy,
he
backtracks to the bedroom.

Eventually,
brain In gear
dressed
ready to go out and
here
he hesitates

thinks

shall I
make another coffee?

am i manipulative,

or pieces of alcoholism,

of bottles and losing lovers,

leaving loved ones on a whim,

winning in whirlwinds of loss,

dreams of stability and sure,

but your eyes are where I'm lured,

leaving you on a whim,

cold and cautious and scared.