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A single thought
Tires of stumbling about
In stale darkness,
Sees through
His own skeleton future,
Makes it out
Into the light of day,
Shouts for joy,
Changes the world.
Apr 2020 · 77
Chance
For those who don't believe in chance
It was destiny when they met
Both being at the pub
And at the dance.
But in the High Street of all places
She chases him, spilling apples
Around a tree
And when they embrace and kiss
It's as if they want the whole world to see.
But I find it strange
No one tells them
Feelings change, so much happens
To get in the way
Of so many good intentions
Oh well, let them
Enjoy their moment
While they can.
The moment of love.
Apr 2020 · 45
It's All Gone Crazy
Everything is upside down
Inside out
Back to front.
I'm glad it's me that's missing you
And not the other way around.
Apr 2020 · 64
Your Every Breath
When we lay holding hands this morning
I could see that your every breath
Was really a prayer.
Then through the curtains I saw
My love was luminous gold
On the plateau beneath the Luberon
And scented with pine,
Roses and thyme.
I watched it roll down rows of vines
Olive trees and wild rosemary
And become a field of sunflowers near St. Remes,
Then it joined the parade of poplars at Le Thor
Was shouted from the mountains
East of Vaison-la-Romaine
And whispered in the ancient
Narrow streets of  Menerbes.
So I wondered if this was a new beginning.
Apr 2020 · 67
Average
He is average in most things
Falling over and not hurting himself
Juggling with fire
Flying the great trapeze
Making seals jump through hoops
And lions stand on one leg
Also, riding the white stallion backwards
Running across a tight rope blindfolded
Lying under an elephants foot
And throwing knives at the princess
But if you gave this man half a chance
He would really pull something out of the hat,
Your love.
Apr 2020 · 47
You Used Me
Holding my breath,
Just beneath the surface
My fixed waiting stare
Until it was my turn
And then you used me,
Joyously, like love,
You filled my sky
With your patterns
You shook my sun
And changed my Shadows
For I was a stepping stone
And I remember you
As I remember my life.
Apr 2020 · 49
The Victor
Time to catch breath,
Only breathe
Wait patiently this time
For the one who takes
His chance
The victor,
Punching the air
Dreams of his next
Love affair
The vanquished is left
Remembering the romance,
And the heat of day,
Draped in glory
Staggers, unrepentant,
Away.
Apr 2020 · 48
Passion
Sunlight serves only
To deepen shadows,
Birds steal each others songs
To mimic, never answer,
Clouds mill and jostle
For somewhere to rest
Growing listless, spitting,
My footsteps going nowhere
Only more echoes to empty
The days I don't see you.
Oh to follow you into the night,
Unseeing, unquestioning, unknowing,
To relinquish my identity,
My will, my desires,
To eat and sleep
And wake and love
Only when bidden,
To lose myself in you.
Apr 2020 · 46
Hold Me
From a makeshift bed
On an unforgiving floor
Where blankets
Like dreams are strewn
Left to be gathered
At some later date,
Up the winding
Creaking staircase
As I had done
In another life before,
She led me through
An open window
Where birds stir
From invisible sleep
And cows are content
To wander all day
In tall grasses,
Brushed by an unseen hand.
Apr 2020 · 54
Remember When We Were Ten
When I saw you in the playground
I thought you looked pretty,
I thought I bet she's fun to be with,
I bet she's a good kisser,
I thought, I bet our children grow up
Strong and healthy like I hope I do,
And I work hard and always love
And protect her.
When I saw you in the playground
I thought I bet she makes
A man of me.
Apr 2020 · 49
Stormy Love
Like a giant woken from a deep sleep
He will visit us with his dream
His anger will blacken the sky
Cause branches to lash windows
And rain to pound door and slate.
There will be no time to finish songs
Or shelter in familiar places
And all the world will look up
Praying for a break in the clouds.
Then just as quickly as it came
The storm passes,
You turn away from the window
And there is love in your eyes.
Apr 2020 · 51
Something
Of course our souls go on,
Of course they do
Don't they?
But what of these bodies
That learn to love
And die so easily?
Maybe they retain
Something of our lives.
We are just dust
In the wind.
There is so much love
In the wind.
Apr 2020 · 104
Angel
Angel, did death come between us?
It's been so long since you wrapped me in your wings
Pulled me to you, to the centre of your universe
For amazingly, I have known your love,
The mystery of you
I've seen how, despite the storm
Raging around you, inside you,
You can pull fear and excitement
Out of me
And turn it into peace and safety,
And more than that,
Childlike wonder.
Apr 2020 · 62
To Prayers
Shadows that have waited all day for their moment
Now stalk us as we emerge
Tripping into the night,
And swirling leaves play about our heads
Taunting our weakness.
Our faces were indistinguishable then,
Poorly lit and muffled,
And cloaks roughly woven
Kept tensely drawn until we had crossed
The threshold of light
When they were opened
Cautiously at first
Then defiantly shrugged aside
As if death had suddenly
Lost it's claim on our lives,
For we were more afraid of God
Than the devil in those days
And more in hope of salvation.

Now, on the edge of the city,
We still come
By way of the new pedestrian crossing
The statue and reserved parking,
Under the altar of scaffolding
We contribute a pound
Towards the ten million
Needed for the restoration fund.
And leaving our Bible by the door
We cross the threshold again,
Clutching a more informed guide book
Telling us where we used to kneel and pray.

And for once the video camera
Hangs sulking at our side
So that none may bear testimony
To our being there,
As all the time we pretend
We have no need of miracles in our lives.
Mar 2020 · 39
Puddles
Rain is very mischievous.
It really wants us to forget
Our coats and umbrellas
So it can send down
It's ambassadors,
Mysterious dark shapes,
Swirling inner worlds
For it's followers,
Who usually have small feet
With frogs eyes painted
On to green Wellingtons,
To dance in,
While serious people are left
To sit all morning
In wet socks.
Mar 2020 · 58
His Love
He said his love had been purged
Come through the fires of hell
Was now sparkling and clear
Like water from the deepest well.
She replied, do not kiss the place
Where my foot touched the stair
Do not see stars in my eyes
Nor chase moonbeams in my hair
Or search the far off island
Where the last unicorn hid.
So purged again
He went away
And never did.
Mar 2020 · 45
Like A Nurse
One of us has a girlfriend now.
She loves him so much
She wants to be with him
At night as well
Even when they are asleep,
So she sleeps with him.
Sometimes I hear them talking.
She sounds very nice
Like a nurse,
And when I open my door
Her perfume fills the corridor
Like apple blossom on a May morning
And I have to go back inside
Until it has gone.
Mar 2020 · 79
Keep Trying
Can't stop
******* a kiss,
Keep the umbrella
I'll call you
There's so much to do
Where did I get all this stuff?
It'll never fit in there
Maybe if I squeeze it
Oh you're back
Did you forget ...?
Hey sit on that will you?
Stop laughing
And then there's the cleaning,
The decorating,
It's no use, I need more boxes, more time
Okay, okay, I'll calm down, I'm fine
As long as we keep trying to make room
In our lives for each other.
Mar 2020 · 43
Sweet Sleep
Here I am again with my secrets
My lame excuses,
My unfinished prayers
My bits of the day
That fly uncontrollably
Around the room.
Say hush one more time
Soothe a stranger's
Troubled brow
These aching limbs.
Kiss my eyelids tight shut
So that I may never peek again
And wake me
When you have done.
Mar 2020 · 31
The Last Dance
I usually spend my time
At the table close to the drink,
With most of the night
To sit and think
Of it all working like a charm,
When we throw the great doors open
And you arrive on my arm
Then the music starts up
I have the first dance
You so close to me
Your hand in mine
Sends shivers down my spine,
Then the firelight in your eyes
Leads me further into a trance.
Mar 2020 · 53
Unmarked Grave
She drives her man on
Over the cliff
Into the abyss
And the soft green meadows
And the ten million seeds.
I didn't even know
I was crashing,
Body try to keep up
With the butterflies.
Since you last touched me
A lot has happened.
And nothing.
Mar 2020 · 96
My cup
My cup overflows
Yet nothing
Is spilt or lost
In the precious mystery
Of your love.
Mar 2020 · 157
Chemical Lives
The red plane was back,
Sweeping low over the trees
To avoid radar detection,
Then banking steeply
Away to the right
Into the adjoining field
At the back it's my house.
I could run
In those days -
Perhaps that was it.
I was the only one
To actually stand
In the rainbow,
When the others arrived
The DDT was already falling
In a fine mist,
Like that summer rain
That soaks you
Through in minutes.
Then again it could
Have been any of
The other chemicals
I breathed in,
Ate and drank
Over the ensuing years.
I don't think there is any need
For an autopsy.
Mar 2020 · 99
Could happen
People are stealing poetry books
To cut up
To use as toilet paper.
Mar 2020 · 46
Reality
The cotton wool clouds
Glued at random
In a giant blue
Colouring book
Are real
And cause me to breathe
Deeply for the first
Time today.
The greenwood
With it's shadows
That question the rights
Of leaves to answer
And flowers, freshly
Painted this morning
By the supreme artist
Who begs us to, who
Dares us not to
Notice them
And the seed,
Airborne at last
Parachuting into
My hand
Are all real,
But I am not.
Mar 2020 · 93
Last Diary
The ballerina in a
Dying piruette
Signals the end
Of her show,
Black putrid, billowing
Twisting and devious
As any smoke engaged
In this work
Must go.

But those who
Would not remain
Are as loathed to
Turn around
As were their bullets
Reluctant to maime
Or ****,
Afraid of breaking
The spell
And being dragged back
Into screaming hell
Instead of gently
Led away through
The buttercups on the
Side of the hill.

A solitary line
Of shuffling feet
Retreating bodies,
Some ghosts
Belatedly anointed
By fine summer rain
Coming too late
To dampen the pain,
Inside the bullet burns
And intermingled
With cries, birdsong returns
Conjuring up
Farmyard smells
Capturing boyhood laughter,
A cosy bedroom
Like a stabbing
In the side
Starts the tears again,
So soon
As when my gallant
Friends and I
With unbeknown
Sadness, rode out
One sunny afternoon
Down to the fields
Of shame
And straight into
Certain madness.
Mar 2020 · 38
My Battery
My battery is low
I'm a flickering light
A faint glow
Staying on for you.
Mar 2020 · 38
Tears
In an age of twilight
You lie outstretched before me
The line of your shore,
Your naked beauty
Clothed at last
In my reverence.

For I am powerless to move
Away from the rapids
On to the quiet platform
Where my soul
Longs to rest,
Until your tears
Too long bitter
And salty
Become a stream,
A river
An ocean of love.
Mar 2020 · 92
At Your Side
Today He is at your side
Looking after you
In my stead
As He did before me
And will again
When I am gone
And I'm not afraid
If I can feel
This way about you
After the short time
We shared
How much greater
Will His love be
Seeing you as
He does
With your capacity
For infinite love?
Mar 2020 · 61
Thoughts
Like fireflies, shooting stars,
Snowflakes and faces
On the moon,
They pass easily beneath
Thin veils of underworlds
So are often mistaken
For fairy dust.
Sometimes they are
Left behind by
Reindeer and sleighs
Then blown in through
Open windows
Drawn especially to
Wind chimes and
Sleeping faces
Where if encouraged
Can ward off all manner
Of ills.
They are angels wings
And beyond imagination
Every child's playthings.

And later they are
Brooding reminders
Which if ignored
Will hunch shoulders
And drag feet their way.
They wake us at night
Greet us wide-eyed,
But leave us in
A cold sweat
With trembling hands
That forget how to touch.
They are tired
Restless demons
Impatient for release
And must be channelled,
Given purpose
Given hope
If not peace.
Mar 2020 · 40
Heroes
The one climbs rain swept
Battlements in dead of night,
Grapples with swords,
Dodges spears
Kills the old enemy,
After a terrible fight
Rescues the beautiful
Princess, with hardly time
To kiss her cheek
Before they ride off
On a white horse
Chased only by
The orchestra and moonlight
She believes to start
A new life.

The other is never
Upset by little things
Milk out of date
Or dinner late,
His every one day
At a time is a victory
In itself, managing to
Keep working through
Praying that faith
Is a match for any pain
Knowing his life
Can never be the same,
He too conceals
The stain on his tunic,
His deathly secret.
Mar 2020 · 127
Drowning In Love
She summons me
To her side
Entices me to embrace
The morning shadows
And dance in the sunshine
She evokes
All along her tide.
She beckons me
To reach down
To be unafraid,
Unashamed of my
Own mortality.
She anoints my feet,
My ankles and knees
Then my chest, my neck
And head.
She envelopes me
In her deeper self
She drinks me up,
Laps me up
I am awash with movement,
Drowning in her love,
Then her scream
Masks my cry
I am lucid again
I am creation.
Mar 2020 · 148
One Last Time
Sometime in the future
Exactly when I am not sure
I would like to come back
To you
One last time.
Not in a dramatic way
I hope you understand
Nor to frighten or
Upset you.
I promise to choose
Something small
And insignificant,
A single drop of rain perhaps.
I will settle on your cheek
But only for a moment -
That is all
Before you mistake me
For a tear
And brush me away
Forever.
Geoff, it is midsummer now
And your paradise garden
Takes our breath away.
The honeysuckle, orchids,
Geraniums, yellow iris,
Blood red roses and
Apricot foxgloves
You tended
So lovingly
Are all here as they
Would have been
In medieval times when
You say even the monks
Needed the sanctuary
Of flowering meads
And shady orchards
To lift their spirits
And refresh their minds.
And now your twin brother
Is finishing off the commentary
You wrote before
Your heart attack,
Telling us if you
Could choose your piece
Of heaven
It would look
Just like this.
Mar 2020 · 54
For You
For you, with you
I will hide away
Those tears
That long to be shed
And seen by you.
Knowing such happiness
Is to miss
When sweet ignorance
Was bliss
And those smiles
Shared and precious
To strangers
Only remind
Of far away faces
Never again
To reappear
Or once more
To feel so dear
To the heart
That beckons
And waits
And prays
And lives in fear
Of losing again
That which
Has been lost before
Of finding again
Only to lose
Once more.
Mar 2020 · 51
Poorer
The unravelled tapestry
The song sung unaccompanied
The unfinished symphony
The valley wasted
On the artist
The dreamer too tired
To sleep
The writer picking only
Last will and testament
From a lifetime
Of words
All have joined
The ranks
Though they will find
Neither death nor
Glory here,
For this is the time
To put our backs
Into it,
To put clothes
On our backs
And food on
The table,
And we are all
The poorer for that.
Mar 2020 · 43
I Had Hoped For More
Insect-like we squash our lives
Into a few summer seconds.
We flit, we swarm, we hop
From a branch, a stem
To a prettier flower
Where we drink the nectar
Or drown in it.
The ******* cat
Plays with us
Tears off our wings
Spits us out
And just before we die
We dream of flying
Into a naked light.
Feb 2020 · 43
Seeds
What kind of seed
So tentatively planted
And needing neither
Water nor light
Only the dark secret
Warmth of you?
How I spark,
How I come to life
In you.
Feb 2020 · 60
Goodnight, Goodbye
She drives down to a room
On Rainbow Hill
And sits in the car staring
At raindrops on the windscreen
Which look like tiny
Planets in the darkness,
And she feels like an astronaut
Weightless, about to take her first
Moon walk, then realising
She had gone to the wrong moon.

Then she goes inside
Climbs the bright green stair carpet
Up to door number two
And is surprised when her key fits
But not that it is cold and dark
And stale from the cigarettes downstairs.

And she rolls a sleeping bag
And some blankets on the floor
And blocks up the fireplace
With a blue flowery eiderdown
To give the spiders something
To think about, and she takes
Her toothbrush and soap
Into the bathroom
And drops the towel on the floor
And trips over it in her muddy shoes.

Then she gets undressed and finds
A place for her clothes,
On a chair in the corner
And turns out the light and stands
At the window as if they might
Walk past, and she's checking that
They will never find her here.

Then she lies awake wondering
When the street light goes out
Just as it does, and more people
Coming up from the takeaway
And she listens not realising
She is listening for her name.
And then the wind and rain,
And a train coming straight towards her
Then veering off
At the last moment.
to
Feb 2020 · 44
The Kite
A small boy was flying his kite
With his parents.
I watched the simple family
Moments which make up
A childhood
Then left to wander
Around the park.
On my way back
I noticed them looking up,
Helplessly I thought
As the kite must have
Broken it's string
And was probably
Disappearing from sight
Forever. But no,
It was only lodged
Like a memory,
In a tree.
Feb 2020 · 65
For Good
He doesn't deserve a big send off
I'll leave him under
The seat on a bus
At the station newspaper stand
Or better still, a phone booth
At the airport,
Somewhere busy, anywhere
There a lot of comings
And goings
So he can't follow me
Into the sea of bobbing heads.
And I won't look back
Will forget I lost him
Until I check my pockets
Or case when I arrive
Almost as an afterthought
As if I had never
Carried him around
My whole life.
Goodbye fear for good.
Feb 2020 · 54
I Didn't Do Anything
I didn't run anyone over today
I didn't ****** anyone
Or rob any little old ladies
Or steal from the church coffers
I didn't judge or criticise
Or expect too much
Of anyone
I didn't stop caring
Or hoping or praying
And I didn't stop
Loving anyone today
So maybe that is it.
After a lifetime
Of underachievement -
Vindication.
It's what we don't do,
Don't say
That defines us.
Feb 2020 · 65
So Grateful
Those bright clear happy moments
Are the best
Before we fall
Into each other's arms
And our only problems
Are the clothes we shed
And place together
On the chair
In the dark room.
Feb 2020 · 66
Of Life
Are we nothing more than evolution?
Far less than God intended.
Less than a drop in the ocean
A footprint in the sand
A blade of grass
A petal
A leaf even in a forest.
Are we nothing more
Than miraculous creation?
Feb 2020 · 202
Time
Not mine
Pointless worrying
Not yours
Pointless questioning
Not his
Pointless arguing
Not hers
Pointless doubting
Not theirs
Pointless measuring
God's time.
Feb 2020 · 33
Love Is Like That
A shooting star is better,
Love is like that
Or a rainbow,
Love could become like that.
Instead what passes for love
Makes us take cover,
A meteorite
Hurtling through time zones
Entering restricted air space
Crossing boundaries unrecognised
Crashing into lives, interrupting nights,
And by the time we have picked it up
On the radar
It is too late to mobilize defences
Too late to recover.
No wonder we can't trust each other.
Feb 2020 · 39
Waiting For Love
One raindrop for every broken heart he thought.
He waited for two hours
Half in the shop, getting wetter by the minute.
He meant to go several times
Set off down the street purposively
As if he had just finished a book
But forgetting how it ended
Had to go back to the light of the doorway.
He looked at his watch again
A raindrop blurred the figures
And wiped away time.
The street darkened, emptied and quietened.
The shopkeeper turned everything off, locked up
And said goodnight.
A moth that had been trying to get in
Lost his reason for living.
It wandered off and was splashed by the first car
That came along and drowned.
He watched it float down a drain.

'You look like a drowned moth yourself' she said
'Come on before you catch your death.'
He followed her through the city
To a small flat above a shop.
'Get those clothes off, I'll put the kettle on,
You'll find some more in the bedroom', she said.
He was half dressed when she appeared,
'I'll put these on the radiators, come by the fire
And have some tea. Do you take sugar?'
They stared into the gas fire and he thought
He saw a flame.
'Don't misunderstand me', he said
'You really are very kind, I am grateful
But I don't know why you are going to all
This trouble, you see I was waiting for my wife.'
'Thats all right,' she said, 'Don't worry, I was looking
For my husband, drink your tea before it goes cold.'
Feb 2020 · 59
How can I?
How can I sleep when you are this close?
If I stretch out my fingers I can nearly touch you
If you reached out yours.
But you are asleep, safe now.
I do not want to wake you
For your beauty would awaken
The beast in me
Or at least that is how you always saw it
No, it enough to lie here
And feel your warmth
The sun coming up over the hills
Spreading light across the valley
In your world without shadows.

How long can I keep this up?
Pretending to be asleep.
What if my hand should inadvertently slip
Or a careless thought,
Would that be enough to wake you?
To stir the captive in you,
The dragon in me
Or at least that is how you always saw it.
No, it is enough to lie here
And wait for the dawn chorus
Knowing I cannot get to sleep
When you are only two years away
From loving me.
Feb 2020 · 93
At Last
Comfortable at last
Our love
Easy on
Like a pair of old slippers
I would walk a thousand miles in
To sit by the fireside with you.
Feb 2020 · 46
Think of me kindly
I am up with the lark
Fences and walls to mend before dark
And there every morning
By the old rusty gate
You wave me a greeting
I swear I will never see a prettier sight
As that handkerchief fluttering
Against a crimson sky
And you all dressed in white.

At noon you bring me bread and ale
And we lie for half an hour
Watching clouds race by
Kiss you, I do not
Nor touch your hem
Keeping very still
And wondering when
You will say
'It is to you I will be true.'

On my way home
I watch you reading
At your window
By a single candlelight
You never look up
And so to you I do say
Think of me kindly
When I am gone.
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